A Marriage After His Heart

Moving

2010-09-15T15:47:00.002-05:00

I too as my friend Terry did, am moving over to more cleaner pastures. I have just imported my blog over at Wordpress in hopes that I can escape the infectious spam that invades my blog daily.

The name is still the same so just click here to join me!

My Good, Bad & Ugly Self

2010-09-15T11:53:00.008-05:00

I, am a realist.... I believe the only way you can address a problem is to admit you have one. I believe that life is full of teaching moments which can be categorized into three faucets....The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. This is my fundamental belief, it's my mission statement, it's my mantra.

I have been absent from blog land for a long while. My hiatus was intentional. Some of it was because I battled depression during certain seasons and I just didn't want to bore the world with endless "woe is me" writing. I had several Edgar Allen Poe "Tale Tale Heart moments". I went on a dark and twisty places within my carnal nature and attempted open heart surgery and to dismember the selfish person who I thought was dead only to find out I was not.

Don't get me wrong,there were some good times, plenty of them and many more than the dark times during my absence, but by that time I'd lost my zeal for writing. Juggling the priorities of babies and tweens somewhat threw my writing off it's organizational orbit. When I did write I would go back and find awful grammatical errors. Then blogger allowed all these spam comments that seemingly overtook my blog like cancer , toss in the fact that my selfish ego took a bruising when spammed comments overtook reader comments voila' I just became very pridefully and selfishly indifferent to my blog.

But God with his all loving, heart pricking, soul tenderizing, chastening self decided to deal with me on my talent I was hiding in the ground. The talent I was not investing in for his glory, the one I was becoming a horrible steward with. I tried to crawl back into written expression via Facebook, but it's not the same. I still use it for a platform, but I miss blogging. I had to remember that I write for God first, my husband second, me third and everyone else falls in line accordingly.

I have tons of things to write about mainly the journey of my marriage. We passed the year two mark and are on our way to year three. It has been the sweetest most painstaking experiences I have yet to endure. I don't say endure lightly either. Marriage is an endurance sport. It's not a sprint, it's not a leisurely stroll, it is a marathon. One does not wake up one day and run the Boston Marathon trust me, and I learned that marriage is the same. I have had to undergo rigorous training, pushing myself way beyond limits my mind and heart wanted to go. I have realized things about myself that I thought were dead, and God has often reminded me of the list of "giver uppers" I swore to if only he blessed me with a husband!

Don't get me wrong, I am completely, utterly, absolutely, overly in love with my Mark. I love that dude's dirty drawers ( as we say down here in the south), but loving him correctly, in lockstep with God's word, and loving him more than I love Jamala has been a work wrought within me! I thought things would just fall automatically, but you really learn what true love is when you love beyond your selfishness when you are forced to love beyond what you feel is fair and reasonable. Marriage is truly defined when you truly sit down and ponder on what the "for better of a person, and for worse of a person" really means.

I have and still am learning that even though we are one, we still both have an individual nature that if left unattended will result in a Pushmi -pullyu . Remember that animal character from the Dr. Doolittle series? When one tried to go left the other went right, or when one tried to go north, the other went south? Yep, this is exactly the type of animal Jamala was fighting against becoming. And it's easy to turn into a Pushmi-pullyu when you allow the little things to distract you from the word of God, from your vows, from those sweet promises you made to each other while honeymooning, from the duties you have been given as stewards of a family.

My strained gnats like (submission, obedience, love, and patience with one another) was at times overshadowed by the swallowed camels (like bills, unplanned babies, exhaustion, feeling pulled in upteenthousand directions coupled with expected husband/wife marital duties, and my sometimes really hidden desire for equality and balance in the marital hierarchy); and all the while the elephant/camel in the room was ignored. I simply did not want to admit that I was given a place, a lane to stay in and I simply at times was not in it. Oh I wasn't openly toe to toe arguing with my husband, no none of that, but was I perfoming my duties with a willing, cheerful heart? Was I outwardly honoring him while inwardly feeling very unappreciated and jealous of his God given role and honor? The answer is yes, at times I found myself behaving on the inside like a jealous child.

Yep, I am openly admitting that this has been my journey. I have found myself at times walking the same path that I said I would never travel. Instead of the small narrow way, I often times found myself off path, not quite on the broad way, but off that path that is "tight but right".

I thank God for giving me a loving, patient husband. I thank God for introducing me to a handful of Godly women that keep me grounded even when I had to cringe when reading about my "almost" behavior through their writing. I thank Him for a community of women who hold up the banner of Godliness, and of the true ways of a Godly wife. I have so much more to say but I will save my experiences for another post but for now I will leave you with this just dessert. It's a picture of Tabron Reese, who is such a sweet, quiet, baby who is also her daddy's mirror. She fills our days with gummy smiles and deep belly giggles. We are truly blessed!

a mobile phone pic of Tabron's first smiles

Graci at her Otolarynologist appointment after her surgery

Pushmi-pullyu image taken from this internet site.

My disjointed thoughts on the so-called Ground Zero Mosque

2010-08-18T11:37:00.004-05:00

This post (title included) in it's entirety was written by a college classmate of mine and posted as a note on his Facebook page. I have nothing to add but his words sum up my feelings about this particular issue. As many know I normally don't get involved with politics and while most of my blogging buddies are very anti-Obama administration I still support him as the Commander in Chief even though I am not always happy with every decsion he has made. But this time he is right to support the very beliefs this country were built on. And without futher adoo I am posting my friend Henry's blog post.

My disjointed thoughts on the so-called Ground Zero Mosque.....by Henry Brooks IV on Tuesday, August 17, 2010 at 9:32pm.

I never have claimed to be a biblical scholar nor have I ever played the role of learned political historian. You will probably never see me on MSNBC, CBS, or FOX News giving "expert" analysis of the difference between Orthodox Jews and Hasidic Jews or the similarities between Suni and Shiite Muslims. That's not my field and I would end up looking like a complete idiot if the questions moved anywhere past the surface of any discussion on theology. Luckily, I understand my limitations and try (very hard) not to step into that area with my $0.02 lest someone make intellectual change out of me. In this way, I am much like a majority of Americans...I can quote enough scriptures from the King James Bible and sing enough hymns to look like I attended Sunday School as a youth and quote enough from the U.S. Constitution to show you that I watched the ABC network every Saturday morning so I wouldn't miss Schoolhouse Rock.

Now that I've laid out my qualifications (which are minimal), I want to express my thoughts on a topic that's been scraping the chalkboard of mid-term election politics for the last week or so: The Ground Zero Mosque.

First, let's get some facts. Contrary to the popular title being given to it, this project is neither a mosque nor is it even at Ground Zero. A group of American citizens has decided to go into a dying part of lower Mannhattah, purchase a building in disrepair, demolish it and build a cultural center. This center will be open to all people and will have a swimming pool, gym, culinary school, library, 500 seat auditorium, and host childrens services, programs, and exhibitions. The group happens to be Muslim. There will be a mosque. There will also be a September 11th memorial.

What's wrong with that? Sounds like a good idea, huh? Build a community center for all to enjoy, create some jobs, clean up a dying area of the city, possibly spark other businesses to open in the area...this is a GREAT idea, right? Ok, here is where things get a little tricky. The Cultural Center will be built roughly 2 blocks from Ground Zero and this is obviously causing people serious emotional damage. The question is, why?

Many of those in objection to the cultural center claim that it is being built too close to the place where radical Muslim extremists flew 2 planes into the World Trade Center towers on September 11, 2001. They say that building the center, which will include a mosque, so close dishonors the memory of those who lost their lives on that day and in that spot.

This is where I get confused.

Is my hearing bad or are these people saying that being a Muslim means you are so closely associated with terrorists that you SHOULD want to forfiet your rights as a citizen so that our feelings dont' get hurt and we can keep holding on to our religious bigotry.

I get confused because I don't understand how we, as freedom loving, flag waving, liberty huggin', rights totin' Americans, can allow ourselves to make the blanket association and accusation that all Muslims are terrorists. Now, some of you will take offense at that statement and if I cared I might apologize but since I don't care...STAND OFFENDED. If two weeks ago you were thanking our troops for fighting for our freedoms and today you are saying that all Muslims are terrorists and EVEN...then you just dropped your pants and took a huge dump on the American Flag. Yeah, you did.

You see, freedom ain't free, righteousness ain't always comfortable and protecting a just society is hard work.

As Americans we have a responsibility to stand up for the rule of law that protects each of us. The fact that we don't agree with someone's stance doesn't give us the right to fight against their right to have and express that opinion. We should smack the taste out of the mouth of anyone that stifles dissent. Dissent is what makes this country great. Dissent is what keeps our U.S. Constitution living. Dissent is what gives us the right to express our opinions, argue, scream, and shout at each other and then go enjoy a low-fat mocha latte together once we decide to agree to disagree. It doesn't mean that we wont fight tomorrow. It doesn't mean that we are enemies. It only means that we disagree and thank God that we live in a country where we can have an open discussion about our differences without worrying about being tossed in jail or killed. That's freedom.

We must fight to protect this right. Whether you are Jewish, Christian, Siek, Hindi, or even Muslim. You don't have the right to write off an entire religion because of its crazies. No one should write off Christianity or be afraid of Christians because of the acts of some radical Christian extremists. As a matter of fact, we (Chrisitans) tend to qualify such statements with the caveat, "...but they aren't really Christians. Not if they would do that." Why can't we accept that Muslims feel the same way about their crazies?

Build the Center. Open it to all who visit the area. Run a shuttle to the Ground Zero monument so that people can understand the true meaning of Islam. Our founding fathers understood it and they wrote about it. Ben Franklin (remember him?) wrote that

"even if the Mufti of Constantinople were to send a missionary to preach Mohammedanism to us, he would find a pulpit at his service." -Benjamin Franklin

Since I'm a brotha and we are talking about reconciliation and peace you know I couldn't leave you without a Martin Luther King, Jr quote so here it goes:

"Cowardice asks the question, 'Is it safe?' Expediency asks the question, 'Is it politic?' But conscience asks the question, 'Is it right?' And there comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular but because conscience tells one it is right." -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

So to those who are afraid of the center becoming a training ground for radical muslims I ask if this center scares you? If so, why? Are you afriad of Muslims or are you afraid of the unknown? Whatever your answer, I suggest you visit an Islamic center and learn a little more. To those who would ask if this center is "politic" or a good move I would counsel them to look past the current pain or political climate and seek the answer in the long term. Do you hate Muslims or do you hate Hate? To those who ask is it right I would tell them to stand on that which gives us the right to even ask that question...the Constitution of the United States of America.

I'll close with a quote from George Bernard Shaw about Liberty

"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it." - George Bernard Shaw

Liberty does mean responsibility. Sometimes you have to do what you NEED to do in order to do what you want to do. We NEED to protect free speech, promote cultural exchanges, promote peace and understanding amongst fellow citizens of different races, religions, and beliefs. But if you want to continue to spew hatred and fan
the flames of discord over the center, feel free. You have that right.

What A Difference A Couple of Years Makes

2010-06-14T01:56:00.006-05:00

This

Added To This

Which was multiplied by this

Equals a Happy 2yr Anniversary!!!!

I thank God that after the wedding dust settled, He blessed me to still have a loving marriage, after the honeymoon when I am not cute all the time, I still have the comfort of staying on his mind, after the gifts were unwrapped and put away, God blessed us with the gift of family and after all the disagreements, misunderstandings, hard times, good times and all, We still have God!

Introduing Miss Tabron Reese Thomas

2010-05-31T07:30:00.000-05:00

My sincerest apologies for posting pictures so late of our newest addition to the Thomas family, but as you can imagine, life for me has been a little hectic.

Our fifth daughter Tabron Reese Thomas was born Sunday May 16th after many weeks of trying to keep her in the oven until she was as close to full term as possible. She was born at 36.5 weeks at 7lbs 15oz and 19 3/4 inches long. A little bit more than big sis who was born at 38 weeks. Her first name pronounced (Taybren) is my mother's maiden name, I have always loved the name Reese and we just wanted her to have a uniqueness about her.

I had a bit of a difficult time carrying her during the last trimester. At about 33 weeks I developed a yeast infection that was in my blood stream and caused me to have the symptoms of a pregnancy related disorder called cholestasis of pregnancy and after running blood work my there were now bile salts in my blood and my liver was fine but I did have an overgrowth of yeast in my system that was causing me tons of problems.

Chocolate drop and Mercy

I actually started dilating at 33 weeks and was given steroid shots for the baby's lungs in case I delivered pre-term. I spent the next three weeks in and out the hospital getting shots to stop my contractions which which were consistent but not strong enough to make me dilate past the 2cm I was currently at but as we all know things change with babies and once we made it to 36weeks and I started feeling better and moving around more things changed. The funny part is the Monday before she was born I had an OB appointment and scheduled her birth for 6/4 since she was actually due 6/9, but that Thursday night I started contracting again, the next day I got up for work thinking that I really needed to make this my last day and prepare just in case. On the way out the door I ran to the rest room only to find that I was loosing part of my plug, I went into work and the contractions intensified. I called my mom to make plans to come after work and pick up the girls and later that night we went to the hospital. Sure enough I dilated from 2cm to 4cm. Again, I was sedated and given drugs to stop my labor as the Peds doc and my doc wanted to try as much as they could to push things back to 37 weeks.

Grace and Mercy as they are nicknamed

Saturday morning we were sent home, I was sedated and slept for most of the day. Mark was scheduled to work an overnight 7p-7a shift so I sent him to work thinking I could really use the alone time to sleep and relax which is what I did since I was still in and out from the relaxants. I woke up though in the early hours Sunday morning with stronger contractions and by the time Mark made it home I was in true labor... I decided to take a bath to dull the pain because I honestly did not want to go back to the hospital. I took the meds given to control the contractions and thought I will just sleep again but as I got out of the tub and started to get dressed my water broke. At that time we just got into packing mode and headed to the hospital which at that time about 11 am.

Once we got checked in I tried my hardest to breath through the contractions but having experienced the intense pain of a dry labor and delivery and not having a high threshold for pain, I opted for an epidural. By that time Mark was exhausted so we napped and around 5:30 I started feeling the urge to push, the nurse checked, she was crowning and before we knew it she was born at 5:56 pm. We had a relatively easy birth. The hard part came afterwards. As soon as I delivered her, I felt the urge to cough and I couldn't stop coughing and I couldn't catch my breath. I got really hot and started spiking a fever a few moments later I slipped out of conscienceless and didn't come to until about 9 pm, I was given antibiotics and had chest x-rays taken but the doctors couldn't find a cause for me getting so ill. I chalked it up to God's immediate healing powers and finally about 11 pm once my fever broke I was able to hold my precious baby.

Tabron @ 6days old

We are at home and settling in right now. My mom has left and Mark has returned to work so its just me and my baby girls and yes Graci is having a tough time adjusting and she is very competitive for my attention but we are making it taking things one day at a time! Thanks for all of your prayers and well wishes on Terry's blog! I have two babies that are asleep so I am going to try for a quick nap. Until next time, stay blessed and encouraged!

Happy Birthday Graci!

2010-04-08T08:04:00.006-05:00

Has it been a year already! It sure doesn't seem like it, but alas it has and today my funny, curious, smart, and precious little girl has turned the big 1!!!!!. It has been a roller coaster year for us both but we have forged through it the two of us. We survived enrolling in daycare last month, and now we have so many new challenges ahead such as weaning, discipline, and most of all getting ready for the new baby.

She has changed my life and taught me things I thought I already knew. She has come in and taken this family by storm... She was and is our breath of fresh air, our comedienne, and keeps us all on our toes. Hopefully one day we can figure out a way to get daddy and sister's unwrapped from around her pinkie fingers. Until then we will continue to dance to the beat of her drum !

Below are a few pictures from our Spring Break trip to The Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta.

My Loves!

Look Sydnee!!!

Graci not sharing pizza w daddy!

Thomas Family

Turning New Pages

2010-03-09T13:47:00.006-06:00

Well I guess it's been no secret that I disappeared from the center of the blogosphere. Yes, I still perused my favorite friends and left a comment or two, but I really haven't done much writing lately. Honestly, after I stepped away I found it just too hard to return, it also didn't help that my blog has been taken over by an enormous amount of SPAM and crazy anonymous comments and the the thought of going in and deleting those comments daily was just draining so, I guess I got a little lazy or my priorities shifted, either way I just didn't feel bitten by the blog post bug.

There have been a few changes in my life though. We found out that baby number 4 is another girl, and I have returned back into the workforce full-time in order to relieve my husband of the gigantic financial burden he was carrying. I have learned so much during my time off and I believe even more about myself since I have stepped away from blogland.

While I wholeheartedly agree that my being at home was the ABSOLUTE BEST thing for my family, I have to be sensible in seeing that my return to home was unplanned and unexpected a month after my brand-new marriage. A marriage into which I entered well into my adult years with a nice sum of debt. That debt combined with my husbands debt just did not seem to want to disappear because I came home, even though it was best for me. Another thing I learned is that an overworked, stressed, husband who makes a decision to temporarily forgo attending church which was a huge outlet for him in order to work to support his family does not make for the easiest of circumstances.

The head of my heart and home slowly depleting himself of the spiritual nutrition so that he could provide for his family just seemed like too much of a sacrifice for this help meet to sit back and watch. So I prayed for God to show his will and he did just that by opening a door for me to have a job that would provide enough for me to work to help pay off debt. We feel that it is better for me to work now, save money, pay down debt and work toward a goal of returning home in a couple of years permanently and with God's grace I know we can do it.

With that being said, this has been the hardest transition for me. Don't believe me, just ask my good friend Terry who immediately stopped and prayed with me when I called today from my desk in tears because my beloved baby has the worst case of separation anxiety I have ever seen. Our bond is being tested and she is not handling it well. Since last week she has basically cried all day every moment that she is not asleep. It has is almost unbearable and if having to listen to your baby scream and cry over the phone was a torture tactic well lets just say I would tell all secrets known. I am praying that God comforts my baby, that he wraps his arms around her and comforts her the way I normally do. For now she refuses to eat, take a bottle or play, she screams and cries unless she is being held or rocked by the staff....

I reject all statements that my baby is spoiled, she is just used to the security of her mom. She has been home with me the entire 11 months of her life. I am all she knows, we have a routine, she spent her days happily following me from room to room, exploring, learning, knowing that her needs physical and emotional were going to be met. I do not apologize for that and I am grateful for that miracle of time that I never experienced with my other children. I love them all equally, but never have I been able to fully enjoy the power of the mother-child bond until Graci.

With all that I will close, I am glad to be able to pick up and express myself in the outlet of blogging again. I don't know how frequent my return will be, but today this bawling working momma received a much needed reprieve.. If you think about us say a prayer for Graci and me during this time. I know its for a season and she will be fine but it's always nice to have that moment when you just know someone said a prayer for you! Stay blessed and encouraged!

Help for Haiti: Yele Haiti

2010-01-15T09:54:00.003-06:00

I guess it is no shock that I have been missing in action for a few months, and have been very quiet lately. Its something that was a shock to me, but much needed. I really had to sit back and take time to come to terms with the direction my life was heading and to come to peace with where I am at this point in my life. I found that I lost my zeal for writing, and really just felt I was at a crossroad of being happy and being overwhelmed with being at home, struggling financially, having an infant and trying to make it through another pregnancy, but I have come to terms, I have peace and I am happy to say that I have found rest, and while I planned a blog return,that is not what prompted me to blog today.

I still follow all of my favorite blogs, and Crystal over at Money Saving Mom wrote this post today and I just had to show my face for this cause. I am sure that we have all heard about the devastating earthquake in Haiti, and I am confident that as believers we have all been called and moved to pray and to help this country. My family and I are no different and while I continuously received texts and Facebook updates on how to donate, I took my time to research and pray which way we wanted to contribute financially. This may come to a shock to some but we have decided to donate to the Yele Hati Foundation which is musician Wyclef Jean's foundation. And while we no longer listen to his music, his foundation is one that has been around since before the earthquake and as a Haitian immigrant he is always spearheading projects for his native country. I find that very noble and feel what better way to help than to donate to a foundation that has personal ties to this impoverished country.

This has been a touching week for us because while things are very tight here in our household, we still are blessed way beyond measure. I only hope that the people of Haiti find help quickly and that they are comforted by our heavenly Father during this difficult time, but still we are donating half of our grocery money for this week to the Yele Haiti Foundation. I plan to link this post to Money Saving Mom and Crystal and her husband will also donate $10 for each post that tells what they have done for Haiti relief and they plan to match other donations to a charity she has named on her blog. You can get the details here.

I will return with more family updates and plans for my blog as there will be major changes happening here. Thank you for visiting and have a wonderful and blessed weekend!

Re Post: Birthday Wishes and Blogging Anniversary

2009-10-24T07:03:00.000-05:00

primping for mommy's wedding

Today is my middle child's 8th birthday and marks the date I created my blog 2 years ago. We were working through some trying times in our lives as mother and daughter and for me writing and blogging is what gave me a sense of calm and refuge in the midst of the calamity of trying to find a place for both of us to fit in this place called life.

I wanted to pay her a special tribute her as she has been eagerly awaiting this day and constantly reminding everyone of the impending months, weeks, days, and hours until her birthday. She is my constant comedienne, and always puts a new spin on the phrase "out of the mouths of babes". The fridge and the walls can always count on her for creative art decor and we are constantly scouring spaces for new artwork. Her life ambition: To be an art teacher. I thank God for her and the growth that has taken place in her life and our relationship in just the past year most of all I thank God that he has blessed her to finally feel secure and loved completely by a mommy and daddy and her bond with Mark is as if it were created from her beginning.

As I sit today and just reflect on how last year I started blogging the day after her birthday and how far we have come in our life, how richly God has blessed us, and how unsuspectingly he created new chapters in our lives I am truly amazed. It is so moving

Boy Do I Love That Man!!!!

2009-10-07T09:50:00.003-05:00

Oh yes I do and to prove it I'm gonna give that man another baby! Yes, I will. Sooner than later, like June sooner.

We've been mighty busy over here in the Thomas house, blending and mixing and forgetting that we have an almost six-month old! Never in a million years would I have ever guessed that I would be that woman who has a baby and gets pregnant like right after and in the same year!

No, I didn't know but God did. He knew that my friend Terry was praying for me to remain home and grow in my most important role ever, (here's to you Terry) God does answer prayers!

All jokes aside, we are beyond elated and so far I am feeling great! Please keep us in your prayers that this will be a smoother pregnancy and that I will have the strength to balance both little baby and big baby as we start this new journey. I'm not really sure how far along we are but will keep you all posted once we have an ultrasound.

Stay blessed and encouraged!

Wordless Wednsday

2009-09-23T09:10:00.004-05:00

Marriage, Merging and Football

2009-09-22T08:21:00.008-05:00

photo by art.com
In my transition from an single mother to where I am now in my life as a`wife, I have learned a ton and one thing, the most important lesson that I have learned over the past year or so is that the sooner you transfer your power over to your husband the smoother things will flow in your marriage.

For years I held the title of CEO, COO, CFO and President of the Board of Directors in my little enterprise of a family and once I merged with my husband, I immediately gave up my power and titles.....or so I thought :). I was ( still am and struggle) with just being plain old bossy, not in a disrespectful way but in that gentle nudging way that I soon learned was borderline nagging, I also learned quickly that my husband married a wife and not his mother. I had to step back and see that although in ceremony and in theory I had relinquished my headship, in practice I was still performing ghost.

The good thing is, that I am married to a patient, laid back, and funny man who would often ( and still does) crack jokes at me when I am sounding like an old crow and yes ladies we can sound like old crows. The other good thing is that my husband realized that I had to be mommy and daddy and always responsible for every little thing for years and that our 6month courtship and few months of marriage was not going to dissipate those instincts that I had came to know as survival skills. What we did was first we prayed and fasted together that God would teach us how to merge our independent enterprises into one, we sat down and we figured out how and what worked best for our family on the natural side of life as Mark took over. We basically went in knowing that both spiritually and naturally this was going to be a learning and teaching moment but yet we resolved to go through this God's way with love and temperance, patience, and long suffering.

We also didn't set high expectations of each others roles outside of what God required. I knew automatically that I would have to submit to Mark's leadership, and while it was not a struggle at all, I had to learn how to sit patiently without tapping my fingers or chewing my nails and let him make the decisions that I was so used to making, the positive is that he never makes a decision without either consulting me or informing my why he did and actually he is a little more detailed in that area than I am. He always wants to be open with me and is motto is that you are my help meet, how can you know how to help me if you don't know what I plan on doing?? For me it makes it easier and I learned how to trust him fully without being tempted to add my two cents because we learned and are learning how to work together.

Most of you know that my husband is an ex football player, he is always in coach mode, he relates that way, we have this thing where we meet and things we discuss are plays. I have learned football talk and as crazy as it sounds it is funny to see him all amped up in coach mode, so it is easier for me to understand him because he is passionately expressing himself in his comfort zone ( now please know that this isn't his only language just his favorite LOL).

He is the head coach and I am the assistant, he the quarter back and I the receiver together our aim is to make touchdowns and win against the enemy and his defense. He plays many roles, and so do I. He's the head coach, offense and defense. I am offense , defence and his cheerleader and there are times we have to call an audible, a few times we've had a flag or two on a play but as long as we practice together and I keep him in my line of sight and not drop the ball we are good. He throws, I catch, he blocks, I run, WE SCORE. Our goal is simple play hard, play fair, have fun with as few flags, penalties and loss yards as possible. We know it's going to happen and when it does trust me God will throw a flag quickly but because we have him as our Official, we know we can get it together and regain those loss yards and come back stronger for it.

I will leave by saying this, if you are having trouble transferring your power to your husband then I can only suggest you turn your heart to God more and ask him to help you, even if your husband doesn't measure up in your eyes. Ask God to show you how to be a help meet to him. Every president needs a VP, every coach needs and assistant and while the one in the shadows may be the wisest and stronger just remember that if you transfer your wisdom and your strength it can only help the one in charge. It helps because unlike business or football you are not in competition with each other and if you are then again you need to turn your heart to God and pray that he will help you not him/her loose that competitive frame of mind. If you are a single parent thinking about marriage or on the road to marriage or even married your children must see togetherness.

If you are or were a single mom then your children need to see your heart turned towards submission. Its a beautiful thing, its a challenge only if you make it. If you remember that you are married and committed to God and trust him completely you will be able to loose that mistrust and smoothly transition into loving and honoring your husband in his God given role as the head.

Marriage is like the church, we are workers together with God and it can't survive on anything more or less than that. Be blessed and stay encouraged!
2 Corinthians 1:24 Not for that we have dominion over your faith, but are helpers of your joy: for by faith ye stand.

The Fear of the "Real" Factor

2009-09-21T07:18:00.005-05:00

As I typed this post that I posted on Friday, a great part of me wondered it I were being too real. If I were exposing too much of my struggles and journey. I wondered heavily if I were casting darkness on my light of faith that I strive to shine each and every day of my life.

I have read many a post where women are admonished for telling too much business, and sure I have internally admonished quite a few myself because the tone was a little bit more than I thought it should have been, but lately I have had to step back and evaluate my thoughts on keeping things real in blog land.

I believe we have this notion of "proper-ness" that we will expose our homeschooling schedules, our menus, our daily trips to and from, our coupon deals, recipes, political views, spiritual journey's frugality,biblical views and opinions and yet we come to a screeching halt when we feel we are getting too close to the line of our marital struggles we stop. Why is that? Why do we equate sharing the struggles of our marriages with airing our dirty laundry and I am not talking about the nitty gritty details or arguments, I speak of the learning curves, the I rode the wave and lived to tell about it stories. I'm talking about the marital triumphs and how they were attained. Oh, I know we can speak loudly about overcoming feminism, or learning to be church mouse quiet or super submissive but what are we quiet about? What are we submitting to? I also know that its much easier to tell a reading audience not to look at me for marital advice but to look to God and the bible, but how do I know God isn't sending someone to learn from my story or how do you know He isn't using yours to help me?

As I read the Bible, I read countless stories especially in the OT that seem like a dramatic mini series or a script for a soap opera. God exposed the good the bad and the ugly. He left it on record for us to glean and learn his lessons some generations to come. Each and every story in the bible is a testimony for the person written. Some show the awesome power of God, some show struggles in faith, others disobedience and the recompense of that individual's reward, and the fact of the matter is that it's there, written, on record for all the world to read . Think about it, do you really think Potipher's wife wanted everyone to know that she was a seductress and lied on the man of God? How about Hannah, do you think that she wanted us to know that she was barren and jealous of her husbands other wife or that she was insecure? What about Sarah? Do you really think she would be excited at the fact that for centuries to come everyone would know that she doubted God and laughed at his promise? Maybe, or maybe not but it is there in plain old black and white in hundreds of translations thousands of years later.

Now, I don't believe that we should give any testimony of our lives current or past that isn't useful for edification, encouragement, or teaching. I also don't believe that blogs should be a means to an end of belaboring all of our frustrations of our day to day lives. I most certainly don't believe that blogs should be a vehicle to blast our husbands, wives, and children or other blogs for that matter however, if encouraging another married couple that they can make it through the storms is your hearts intent and its okay with God and your husband then I say go for it.

Now please don't think for once that I am saying a person should just always "tell their business" marriage is sacred and the goings on between a husband and wife is private but I think it's okay to ask if on my journey through this world is there anything in my life that I can use to help someone walk with me. With the high rate of divorce in the church, and the lack of access to good counsel for some people would it hurt me tremendously if that person who googled "how to stay quiet when my husband is fussing about me burning dinner" learns from my story? Just a thought. Stay blessed and encouraged.

Marriage: Seasoning,Blending, & Timing

2009-09-17T08:31:00.022-05:00

edited to add: some of my post may be in bullet format but it is because blogger will not space my paragraphs out. thanks

There is a reason why the bible tells us to let our speech be seasoned with grace. God knew that for women we can easily relate to seasoning things. As we prepare meals and test out recipes all the ingredients, seasonings, and the like have to be measured out perfectly. If we are off even by a little pinch or smidgen we know it as soon as we taste it, even if those eating never can ever tell the difference. I am learning that marriage is of the same fundamentals. The blending together of two lives, two ways of thinking, two pasts, two different walks with God, mixed with every day life, children, and surprise ambushes from the enemy and if we are off just a pinch with the seasoning of our words and thoughts it can be tasted, even if others can't taste it, we know individually.

Many of you who read my blog can remember me and my life as SingeMomForGod. Many of you remember my journey as a single mother praying for God's will to be done in my life in relation to my desire for marriage. While all is well with us, I won't sugar coat that entering into year two has definitely been a refining pot for us both. We met an older gentleman shortly after our anniversary who told us " Year 2 and 42 are the hardest" He chuckled, walked away and left us scoffing at him. We are a power team, Bonnie and Clyde for God, Ride or Die all the way...

It only seemed that a week later the devil took our scoffing and started throwing some curve balls and strong hits to the chin. We both woke up one day different, looking at each other like who is this person. Discussions started, then heated debates, then firm, discussions, then feelings started getting hurt, ego's bruised, and "ways" started settling in. I write this not to put my business out there or to say that I have a bad marriage, because I don't. I write this as the Lord leads me to "keep it real" to all those who look at my story as a fairytale ending I have fairy tale moments but still live in the real world.

I know I am taking the long road to get to my title point but just walk with me because I think I am on to something here. Contrary to popular belief, I do sometimes wish we would have waited before starting a family. I wish we would have waited not to see if we were going to work out, because BY THE GRACE OF GOD AND GOD ONLY WE ARE WORKING AND WILL CONTINUE TO WORK OUT, but I do believe we threw everything in the bowl and pressed blend a little quickly for ME and sometimes things blend smoothly, and some days if the lid is off we have the batter of our life flying all over the place.

For ME, I can look back and see how I needed an adjustment period. I needed that time to get used to being married, at home, and blending a family. I needed time to really see if I had concrete foundation in wifely submission and husband headship. I needed time to get used to not being in charge of everything. I needed time to learn my home and its needs as before I never really spent much time in it. For me as much as I love my baby and wouldn't trade her for the world I can see how waiting a few months would have been helpful. Notice I said for me. Again, I am still on this long path to my point so let me step it up a pace.

I strongly believe now that once you have been on your own for a while, especially being a single parent who has year and and year out been indoctrinated by feminism that marriage will require an extra measure of patience and long suffering. I also believe that God will provide you the measure that you need, but again time in the word, meditation and prayer is the key to getting that from Him.

Blending families is a huge task. It's not just you and yours, its you ,yours, his, yall's and the other parents. There are mannerisms, and pet peeves you have to get used to, there are the "I've always done or seen things done this way" that are added to the mix, there are more than a million little openings for flesh to creep in and distort words, and looks and silences. Now think of all the things I have mentioned and add hormones, pregnancy, birth, more hormones, sleepless nights, and all the other duties that come with an addition to the family and it just makes things a little more lumpy sometimes.

I know I may sound negative and while I am very content and happy being married, I am just keeping it real. I am saying the things that real people deal with and some Christians(and non) think should be kept silent and covered up.The reality is that its a challenge but an attainable and beautiful challenge. It takes dedication and consecration before God. It takes tears and fears and prayers. It is not at all impossible, in fact it is very possible to be happy, but it takes time. It takes time to get to know a person whom you have only had a courtship with, it takes time to learn their wants needs and desires, it takes time to nurture your relationship, it takes time to make your children feel included and safe in this new life of theirs, it takes time for them to get used to a new daddy or mommy, it takes time for the spouses child to feel welcome and included, it takes time to build a co-parenting relationship, point blank when your life changes even if for the better it takes time to get used to it.

I am not advising anyone else to wait on having kids because that is between you and your spouse or fiance' and God, but I would advise anyone who is single, engaged, or in a courtship to really take out time to inventory your walk with God. Talk to your future spouse about their needs and desires for a home, pay attention to the mannerisms, ask those tough questions, fast and pray for God to consecrate you in those areas he knows you are the weaker to your spouses strength. I would advise every woman to take care of yourself emotionally and physically. Prepare yourself mentally for the fact that once you marry there may be a baby in the very near future. Prepare financially. Most importantly take time to go before God with your intended to see what His recipe is for your marriage and make sure you have the the correct ingredients

mark and I on our honeymoon
I will close with saying this, the things I noted above may be the real everyday things that Mark and I go through, some days are better than others but our good days far, far,exceed our not so good days. Our love for God is what knits our hearts and souls together. Our faith in our marriage is what keeps us laughing at our arguments and disagreements. We are sold out to each other. We are one flesh and as I told him the other day, we share one heart and if one of us leaves we both die, we need each other to make it not just on this earth but eternally because we made a vow to God and He isn't too keen on vow breaking now is he?
Have a wonderfully blessed weekend!

Dreary Days & Schedule Changes

2009-09-15T15:06:00.002-05:00

Yesterday and today have been rainy, dull and dreary days. In my mind I figured I would make the most of them by tackling some overdue home projects. I figured since I hate driving and getting out in the rain what better excuse to organize photo albums and the like. Sounds good right???

Apparently not to a certain teething, gassy, stopped up and fussy 5 month old. Her schedule includes lying on the couch snuggled with her momma and sreaming profusely if I even think of leaving her side. Graci has decided to spend her rainy day being clingy and comforted. I won't lie I was a little frustrated. I did let her cry for a while as I tackled basic chores but then I thought Wow! I am blessed to be able to switch gears mid day or to even not turn gears on at all. I could be at work dreading the traffic knowing I have to rush to daycare, then home, then start dinner all while psuedo comforting someone who didn't ask to be teething or sick and who only wants the comfort of my smell, my heart beat and my snuggle.

So for now I am cuddled up on the couch with my little one while the smell of fresh bread fills the air. I will get up just in the nick of time to reheat the ginormous pot of chicken noodle soup for her sisters who are crossing the street in the rain, the pot that I made yesterday not knowing how my schedule would change today. It will also be ready by the time my beloved walks through the door ready to switch places as his baby girl has him wrapped around her finger.

I am not going to feel bad, or buy into the speech I hear so often; that I am spoiling my child who has only been in this world five short months. I am blessed because I am what fills her days, hours and minutes with happiness.

I don't know how much longer I have to relish this or when I am going back to work but I know that I am and I have to and until then I will enjoy working for my mini boss & co. the hugs, smiles and kisses are worth all their weight in gold! I am so blessed!
Be blessed and stay encouraged!

Lest We Forget

2009-09-11T06:18:00.006-05:00

Lest we forget that on this day eight years ago Americans were clinging to each other in the hopes of healing from the aftershocks of a hellish nightmare.

Fast forward two presidential elections, a recession, a housing and healthcare crisis later and we are more divided than ever or so it seems for my generation.

I am quite sure that patriotism will be at an all time high today, Washington will stop the perverbial backstabbing and bickering and play nice. Everyone will love America and those who gave the greatest sacrifice will be honored once more.

Tomorrow however, will be business as usual. The hate that was packed away for the sake of today will be resurrected and once again be spewed on cable news networks and the airwaves, bi partisan dispise will fill internet blogs and news editorials. Mud slinging will continue to be blinding as the stench of political corruption will once again fill the air.

Let's not forget that our troops will continue to be sitting ducks in a war that allegedly validates this country's resolve from that hellish nightmare eight years ago that we have yet to awaken from....

My Humble Bloggy Opinion the HealthCare Reform Bru- Ha -Ha

2009-09-03T14:02:00.002-05:00

It is my heart felt and fundamental belief that no one should die because they cannot afford health care, and no one should go broke because they get sick.
Unless you have lost someone due to lack of health insurance because they didn't get proper treatment or diagnosis timely or had to witness someone not taking medication properly because they can't afford monthly prescriptions or someone who looses it all just to maintain health only to get sick again due to the stress of debt, then you will never understand.
Thankfully my nephew had his last round of chemotherapy a few weeks ago and his cancer is no more. He just celebrated his 8th birthday a week ago as an 8 year old should but my sister is still reeling financially from everything. Thank God they live in Memphis and St. Jude's was right there but the medicine was astronomically high and while we went through red tape with TriCare and TennCare it really made me think about this health care crisis and the behind the scenes madness.
At that time we really didn't care whose taxes or generous gifts helped towards his cancer treatment all we wanted was a little boy to have the opportunity to enjoy little boyhood.
I sit and I listen to all the partisan debate and mud slinging and town hall bru ha ha's and I think about the mother or father who has lost a job, can't afford COBRA and now has a sick kid, or wife or husband. What do we do? Do we tell them to pull themselves up the Good Old American Way??? Do we sit back and say see I told you this would happen if you voted for Obama??
Did Jesus give the woman with an issue of blood a political lecture? What about the Centurian? Did he stop to debate about that which was rendered unto Cesar? No He did not, He simply gave what he had to help those who came to him.
I don't know how I really feel politically about healthcare reform, but as a Christian I simply feel that no one should be denied the opportunity to be healed. Maybe this is God's way of turning our hearts and faith back to him, after all He made us right?

I Am Worth Much More Than They

2009-09-02T16:52:00.003-05:00

Today as school was dismissing I sat on my porch to soak up this wonderful almost fall weather and to rock the baby to sleep. While I was rocking The Graci asleep sleep I felt led to take a moment to soak in my surroundings. I meditated while watching the birds and the plants around me and marveled at how neither are worried about food or staying green and preparing on cue for the change of seasons and basically just doing what plants and birds do without question or hesitation. I just sat and rocked soaking up why my Father tells me to look at them how they function in his kingdom.
As I meditated more and more I couldn't stop smiling at the fact that I am worth more to Him than they are and to know that He will take care of me too is just plain old awesome!
Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Matthew 6:26

Life's Good!

2009-08-16T15:24:00.007-05:00

Hot Springs, AR in all it's natural and peaceful
beauty

I know, I know....I have been away for a long while, and honestly its been on purpose and for what I felt was a good reason. This month marks a year that I have been home and I just really needed some time to adjust and reflect on my stewardship of this calling. That coupled with my lack of Internet, financial challenges, family needs, and an overwhelming bout of writer's block, I just decided to take some downtime from writing online all together. Did it help, yes.... I feel I have a renewed sense of focus and stronger mental and spiritual stability, but my postings will still be kinda sparse until we get Internet back in our home.

Through all of the above though, life has been good... I was blessed to be able to spend the first full summer in almost 9 years with my children. We did absolutely nothing adventurous, we just how do I say it... Chilled! I feel blessed to be able to have the experience of watching Miss. Graci grow into the 4month old that she is today, and to be able to watch all of my children bond together is awesome. I will admit there were many days when I have been absolutely stir-crazy and extremely overwhelmed, but I wouldn't trade it for the world especially when I know that there is a possibility that it may be short lived. Yes, there is a huge possibility that I may be returning back into the workforce. I have enjoyed my time at home, but right now for me and my husband, me returning to work is a matter of necessity and I am okay with that.

I could go on and on, but I am visiting my parents for a brief while and soon will be leaving to return home before that wonderful husband of mine gets off his 12hr shift after working a grueling 14hr shift yesterday. I miss my husband, so if returning to work means I get to see him more then hey, it is what it is. God knows. Before I leave, I will leave you with a few snapshots into our summer! Until next time, stay blessed and encouraged!

me spending a wonderful weekend at Chigaco's Navy Pier

after attending the wedding of a friend.

Mark and his graci-bear

A bright eyed graci @ 1 am waiting for her papa bear

Those goofy big sisters.....

And the lil sister, she has the biggest eyes!:)

Is Satan Mad at Me??

2009-06-24T16:00:00.003-05:00

My pastor made a comment in sermon on Sunday that has really stuck with me.... He was preaching out of Nehemiah (Chapters 1-4) and his desire to rebuild the wall. When he got to the part about Sanballat being "wroth" at Nehemia's work, he asked : " how angry is satan with you over the work you are doing for God?" (paraphrasing here some)
I've been thinking a bunch about that lately. Is what I'm doing in my life and light God has given me actually angering the enemy OR am I making him happy by making his job easier to lead a soul away from Christ? Is he laughing at me as I openly bring a reproach upon the gospel by making a mockery of being a Christian by biting and devouring other Christians over the doctorine that is supposed to unite us?? Am I helping him confuse non believers about the foundation of salvation by adding my own convictions that aren't black and white scripture?? Lord pray not! I pray that my life and works for you throw satan into a big old tizzy of a temper tandrum!

Still Alive

2009-06-18T14:19:00.003-05:00

I am still alive and well; busy but well. We have had a few milestones in our home over the past week or so. On Sunday, the hubs and I celebrated our first year anniversary. People told us that the first year would be challenging and it was.... I never planned on getting married and six weeks later loosing my job, getting pregnant, and being so sick that I was forced to embrace the new job title as full time homemaker. Not housewife, but homemaker and yes in my humble opinion there is a difference. A housewife in the mainstream definition sits at home and is kept. A homemaker, makes a home and keeps it. Needless to say, I love my new job.

Our first year flew by rather fast I may say. And while we may have had financial and lifestyle challenges, I am blessedly excited to report that the Mr. and I, faced no huge marital challenges. Oh, we had our blended family challenges, our two people with very different habits now living together challenges, but as we both stuck to our committment of putting God first in our marriage, treating each other right was not a challenge at all. Being submissive to my husband after years of being a very sucessful career woman, independent single mother was a breeze. Why? Because I obey my God, and I learned that if you obey God in all that you do or say, loving the spouse he created for you is a skip in the park.

Graci just turned two months, and boy is she something. I don't have pics to post yet as I am on a time crunch, but lets just say that I am enjoying all the slobbery, toothless, smiles and giggles I can get. I so hate I missed these memorable events with my other girls, but after each nap she is doing something new!

Friday I celebrate my 34th birthday, and Saturday my Sydnee celebrates her 10th. As we speak we are getting ready for a sleepover, and to prepare for our family, birthday, anniversary, and Father's Day celebration this weekend at my parents. The Thomas Clan, is alive and well. We are thriving. We are learning, We are going through. We are exceedingly, abundantly blessed above all that we could ever think or hope for. Keep us in your prayers and as my life slows down, I hope to post more!

On a different and sad note, I found out that my 7 year old nephew DeSean who is (as shameful as it is, is my favorite as he and my Erin are two months apart and were raised as brother and sister), has been diagnosed with Leukemia. We don't have the results of the bone marrow biopsy yet and as we speak he is at St. Jude's in Memphis TN, awaiting results to see if his white blood cells have responded positively to medication he was given to strengthen his immune system. Please keep him and my sister in your prayers as they go through this trying time. I have claimed by faith that he is healed and no form of aggressive chemotherapy will be needed. The thought of this precious boy being sick is disheartning, but I pray that God reveal himself to my sister and her family and most of all to him and his precious soul. I feel that this will be a breakthrough for him and his very own special relationship with a God that he know about some, but not a lot. Pray for me as I help teach and minister him in trusting in a big old God that he can't see, but knows that he's up there somewhere! :)

Love and Prayers

WOW A MONTH ALREADY???

2009-05-08T15:06:00.008-05:00

In the business of my new life as a brand new mommy, I didn't realize how fast time flies! Today Miss Graci ( with an "i" now, I just found out this is a cooler way to shorten her name) has turned a month old. Time has flown so quickly that I actually had to sit down for quite a while today and think of milestones. As I reflected I remembered that we had this sonogram taken about a month or so before she was born and it is so funny to see how her habits and personality formed in the womb have transitioned over to her life in this brand new world of hers. I can't wait until she starts cooing and gurgling. I really can't wait until she smiles and reaches for me. Right now, I am in love with her gazing at me. It confirms the bond we share as mother and daughter. I know undoubtedly that she recognizes me. She knows who I am. She feels loved, safe, and secure. I am mommy and right now, I am her favorite thing on this earth ( next to milk of course!).

This first picture was taken at around 33 weeks, and we joked about how much she slept like a little princess, even on the sonogram video, we could not get her whole face because she kept her arm up in as if she were just soooo tired!Imagine how tickled we are every time we catch her sleeping now, just as she had been the whole time she was snuggled inside my belly! Its amazing how they don't really change much from being a developing little person, to being a real live "born baby" as her big sister calls it.I will say that I have created a diva! She loves to be hugged and snuggled, which leaves my days pretty much centered around her. I hate to used the term "spoiled rotten" but I have spoiled her rotten. We have got to break this holding habit, because it doesn't really marry well with taking care of the home now does it? But for now, I will just soak in the new-ness as I am so grateful to have the opportunity to be at home with her, all to myself. I will admit that it does get frustrating when I have something to do, and she falls asleep in my arms and when I lie her down it never fails seconds later I hear her cry, I pick her up and of course the crying ceases. All in all, I think about how great of a gift it is that being in my arms is enough to soothe her. That attachment to me, while sometimes can drive me a little crazy, it is a beautiful thing.

As you can see, her shirt says Hug me:

So i oblige with love and kisses!

Happy Mother's Day to you all. I hope you have the most wonderful weekend! Stay Blessed and Encouraged!

God's Blessings During Colic, Thrush and Baby Transition

2009-05-05T07:47:00.009-05:00

This picture pretty much has summed up my nights and early mornings over the last week or so. Out of nowhere it seems that Gracie developed a touch of colic, and a horrid case of oral thrush. When I say horrid, I mean horrid and it seems to have came out of nowhere and rapidly developed over the weekend. Needless to say she was one unhappy,tired, and irritable little baby. I think the worse feeling in the world, is the inability to comfort your newborn baby, or any of your children rather, but it's something about a itty bitty baby that just melts your heart when they can't be comforted. I learned however, that there is light at the end of that tunnel. I learned ( what I already knew, but I guess forgot??) that God feels the same way about us. It isn't until we allow him to comfort us that we and our itty bitty babies are comforted. I learned that (I could easily try out for American Idol just as long as tryouts are held while I am in the shower) my itty bitty baby thinks I have a wonderful voice, and my non American Idol voice soothes her. I also learned that along with Gripe Water, the best invention in the world is this thing right here:

My beloved Moby Wrap. It is by far one of the best investments that I have made thus far. Who knew that a long piece of fabric would bring me so much peace and comfort. Thanks ladies for recommending it to me! My other favorite thing would be the yard sale steal I got this weekend on this right here:

A Medela breast pump! May I add that it came with all that you see here and then some, did I say for a steal? Did I also mention that it was practically new? All I had to do was some very heavy sterilizing and it works just fine. I posted before the baby was born that I wanted one of these. We couldn't afford one, but a friend of mine, who just loves perusing garages sales in gated communities went to a neighborhood sale on Sat and she called me about this and when she mentioned the price, lets just say I dropped all and went out in the rain to pick this baby up. Now my dear husband won't feel left out of the feeding process. And he can do more than this:

Did I mention this is why we need the Moby!

All in all it has been a tedious couple of weeks, but God has seen us through it. I am learning how to spread out more to my whole family and not have it be just about me and the baby. I will admit, this has been rather trying for me. But in crying out to God and his faithfulness to teach and train me, we are weathering this transition quite well. (mother and baby graphic taken from art.com)

Psalm 73:1Truly God is good to Israel, even to such as are of a clean heart.

Just My Humble Opinion

2009-04-30T09:57:00.004-05:00

I have been out of sorts lately. Honestly I just haven't felt the desire to blog. Kinda like Civilla, I feel like taking a break, but I also feel that if I do, then I am letting some spirit, some principality run me off. I am not the most controversial person. Actually I am better than I used to be. My good friend Terry posted a very interesting post over the past couple of days, and once again I wasn't 100% sold out on the topic at hand. Not her fault though I don't think she did either. ( lol) Don't get me wrong, the topic was interesting, almost convincing but there is a part of me that just can't wrap my noggin around the notion that this country is going to turn to the persecution of Christians anytime soon. Do we have some waywardness and corruption going on? Yep, sure do. Should we be surprised and appalled? I don't think so. Especially when Scripture tells us that there is "no new thing under the sun". Immorality, homosexuality, lewdness, lasciviousness, all those things that we blog about now, are the same things that are written in the bible. It's not new. I guess I don't understand the concept of becoming outraged and up in arms over something that is just re-dressed history.

My focus is Lord help me navigate through this mess with the right spirit. Help me go through this life and not be sold out to this world. Help me remain to be a peculiar people. Help me continue to be the salt and light of this lost and dying world. Help me to reach out and entertain angels unaware. Help me prepare for your return wisely and not miss you because I am slumbering and sleeping. Help me to keep my lamp full of oil and to keep a plenteous supply of oil needed to re-fuel. Help me to love honor and obey my husband, help me to love and teach my children they way YOU will have me to,help me to love my neighbor. Help me to always want to feed and clothe those who need it, help me to visit the sick and needy, help me Lord to take up my cross daily and follow you.

Teach me how to leave my burdens at the foot of the cross at your feet and to walk through this life with out a worry as the flowers and fowls who toil and spin not, yet you clothe and feed them daily. Help me not to rely on man, but to remember that the kings heart is in your hand and as the rivers you will turn it whatsoever way you want. Help me not to fear those who have rule over me, because I know that you allow all things to work together for my good. Help me to remember that nothing happens on this earth, in this world, in this lifetime, and in my life without your permission

Back On Track- Somewhat

2009-04-24T11:37:00.007-05:00

Well it has been a couple of weeks since my last post, and hopefully I have a good excuse being that the new addition to our family has pretty much consumed all of our time. Also the hubs was on paternity leave for about 3 weeks and I really wanted to spend time with him, that coupled with the fact that we are still moving into our new home and out of our apartment has made for a very busy transition. Thank God for honoring my prayer along the lines of having the house somewhat ready so that the baby never had to spend a single night in the apartment. We have been moving slowly but are in no rush.

Life after baby has been can we say an huge adjustment. Gracie turned 2wks on Wed and as of Monday she weighed 8.15lbs which means she is gaining almost a pound a week. She is getting bigger and starting to develop into her own little unique persona. I really must admit that I did not remember the joy that a newborn baby can bring, plus I am learning that I am addicted to new baby smell. The girls are super excited and it's all I can do to contain them and not have them overstimulate little sister. Nursing is starting to become more bearable, although we have yet to form any type of sleep pattern. For now Mark and I are basically doing the Newborn Zombie Shuffle which I hope wears down before he returns to work next week.

About Miss Gracie's big debut. Unfortunately I have no exciting birth story to share. Basically I checked in the hospital at 4am that morning, my drip was started about 5am, I had strong contractions, but they were no stronger really than the ones I had been dealing with the past few weeks leading up to her birth. Mark and I slept until about 9 am, which we really really needed. My doctor came in around 9:30 and broke my water, my mom and Mark went down stairs to move our car and while they were out, the Anesthesiologist came in to administer my epidural. Well I sent Mark to Sonic on an ice run thinking that he would be right back and not miss any action, but by the time he returned I was hooked to my epidural drip and on my way back to sleep. Around 1:30 pm I was awakened by the nurse to check my dilation, and I was between 6 and 7 cm. An hour later, I felt the urge to push, even though I really couldn't feel anything, something was telling me to push. I informed the nurse who was just as caught of guard as I was, she immediately transformed my room, the nursery staff came up, and I just so happened to be the lucky patient for a nursing class on L&D Clinical Rotation so the next 30 minutes or so ended up being a class in childbirth with me as the student volunteer. Mind you , these students attend Nursing School at the college that my husband works and they

recognized him! Talk about bashfulness going out the window.

Gracie was born at 3:10 pm, just as the bell was ringing to dismiss her big sisters from school. At first i felt a little guilty, I didn't have this huge super exciting birthing story, my labor and birth were painless in the end. To me it seemed like the perfect ending to a rather trying beginning and middle. Thanks so much for all of your emails, comments and prayers! Have a wonderful and blessed weekend from our family to yours!

Welcome Home Gracielyn

2009-04-10T23:08:00.003-05:00

Gracie or Gracie'Lyn( in southern accent :)

I just thought I would take a quick break while baby Gracielyn (affectionally called Gracie or Gracie' lyn with an affectionate southern drawl) is bonding with big sis. I so thank God for the age gap, as I was in desperatate need for a babysitter so I could take indulgent shower while Mark is running errands! I though I would just post a little photo of our sweet yet feisty addition to the family. She is holding her own and let me say her appetite is one that rivals her father's. I am going through that time of pre-let down and will be praising the heavens when milk happens! Hopefully I will have a moment to share the details of her delivery with you next week and post more picture. Enjoy your Resurrection Weekend and remember that Jesus and his sacrifice for us, enduring the humiliation and dying on the cross for us is why we have to always remain humble and ever knowing that we are so undeserving for all that he sacrificed for us!

Lil Miss Thomas

2009-04-08T20:42:00.000-05:00

Gracielyn Jacquelyn Ann Thomas mde her long awaited debut today at 3:10 pm weighing 7 lbs 12oz and 19.5 inches long.

I must say that my labor and delivery today was the most easy and effortless day of the entire 9 months. I give Him all the glory and praise for that.
I am posting via moble blogger and can't figure out how to upload pics from my phone, but hope to post pics as soon as we can once we have made it home which may be tomorrow or Friday am. Thank you all for the prayers and support. I must go now I have a beautiful little one lying on my chest and I plan to spend all night inhaling the wonderful aroma of new baby smell! Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!

THE TIME HAS COME

2009-04-08T07:29:00.000-05:00

Today is the day or so I pray... I have been admitted in the hospital! We checked in about 4 am so that they could start my drip around 5am. Although its something I really didn't want my hubs and I decided that due to my slow labor and the physical exhaustion I am experiencing that to plan her arrival would be beneficial for all of us.
My mom was here all last week waiting on her and is back this week to help with mu older girls. I feel so much more relaxed and less anxious as I know that my older girls have someone there to focus on them solely. This was actually the best decision for us all.
Contractions have started intensifying as I type so I will go now to pray and focus so that I can at least try and get through another hour or so before I start calling for pain intervention. So far I have been able to relax and nap, I'm going to see if I can try again! Keep us in your prayers and hopefully by afternoon I will post with an announcement!

Thomas Family Update

2009-04-03T06:00:00.002-05:00

me and my big old belly!

Still no Lil Miss :( but as we type, I am in labor. I am hoping the contractions speed up and intensify to make me dilate just one more centimeter, just one! I am almost in my 39th week and after thinking that she would have been here, I am learning that her personality is one that she will move at her own pace and to the beat of her own music. So I am learning to be patient and also learning how to tolerate pain and discomfort with the right spirit.

On a better note though, the Lord has truly blessed us tremendously in the most unexpected way, not only are we preparing for Lil Miss, we are also moving into a lease home at the same time. We were planning to move out of our apartment this summer, but the Lord opened doors for us that we were never expecting with this opportunity not only that He has given us favor with our current landlord and his family there seems to be a genuine relationship and bridge building process occurring between our family. Our goal is to be moved in with the major things so that Lil Miss, doesn't have to ever grace the grounds of our apartment complex. Things here have been getting worse, our nice little family friendly complex has changed over the past few months with new management who is more lenient with allowing people to move in. What was once a very family friendly complex has turned into fraternity row, and my children have been exposed to things that children should never see. Now they have space, and a yard, and their own rooms. Through this move we have been able to minister and show them how we are stepping out on faith with this move, and how God is blessing us by setting things in an order which aligns with what we prayed for to the letter. This move has increased their faith and I can see them deepening their own relationship with God.

To see them so excited is very emotional, also this is an emotional time for me and my dh. Since leaving home at 18 I have either lived in a dormitory, military barracks, my parents home, or apartments. Same with Mark, this will be our first home and it is beautiful to share this dream with him, to start this new chapter of our lives together and to provide our children with the dream of stability and childhood innocence that a home brings.

I hope to have good news to post soon regarding the Lil Miss. Keep us in your prayers as I am nearing the end stretch and running low on patience, cheerfulness, and energy and frighting the urge to be consumed by irritability, low tolerance, and impatience. God has been faithful though, to step in and give the boost and increase when I need it. I know He will get me through this delivery and move, I know that he is the God of all grace and He loves me enough to continuously bestow an unlimited supply of it whenever I call upon him and request it. He will do the same for all of us if only we think to ask. Be Blessed and Encouraged! Until next time....

Stir-Craziness

2009-03-20T07:17:00.000-05:00

Okay, there is still no news on Lil Miss, and let me tell you she is going to be a child of her own mind. One moment she wants to be here, contractions are steady, consistent and they get very close to the 5 minute mark, then they just stop. As soon as I get ready to grab my stuff, start to make phone calls for the girls its like a big old prank she just goes into super chill mode for a few hours.
Nighttime is becoming a very difficult time for me as I can't sleep. Its her most active and I do mean active time and I feel every single thought of a movement. I guess its one of the downfalls of only gaining baby weight and being all belly. I wish I had just a few more pounds on me just for cushions sake. So I end up sleeping most of the day and am awake at night and while at first it was cool, its really not as fun anymore because the hubs is usually in hibernation mode and I'm up in full night owl mode so our sleep rythm is off and I really miss our sleep rythm, I am such a light sleeper now that any sound, light or movement wakes me up. I usually just lie on the couch as to not wake him with my constant tossing and turning plus I found that the couch is firmer and easier to fall asleep on.
But all in all I think it will be over soon, like this weekend soon. YAY
My next topic would be one of advice solicitation. Since the hubs is now working a 2nd, he isn't the bright and enegetic man he used to be in the am LOL, I am a struggling insomniac and guess what my other two are milking us for all its worth. Morning time has become let's say off kilter a bit. I tried the alarm clock like right next to their bed, we do the laying everything out the night before but we still battle this morning "dragging around" mode. I just can't seem to light a fire under them and then everything becomes all chaotic with me fussing and lecturing and getting upset. This won't work once the baby comes so what do I do?? How do I incorporate a desire for am responsiblity for them. At 9 & 7 am I expecting too much?? Advice please?

At A Snail's Pace

2009-03-09T10:02:00.003-05:00

Well my friends there is some little person who is dying to meet me, but she wants to drop in a little too soon.
That's right, Lil Miss Thomas has decided that she wants to start her journey into our lives right now, however at 35 weeks we're not quite ready for her yet.

I started what I swore was horrible back labor this weekend and yesterday while in church my contractions started strongly and consistently. Later yesterday afternoon we figured it may be a good idea just to check and see if it was truly contractions or Braxton Hicks, problem was that I was an hour and a half away from home visiting my parents. On the way back they subsided a bit and I thought well I'll just tough it out a bit until tomorrow and just go see my OB but after talking to a few older wiser women I heeded the advice and drug my family to the labor and delivery ward thinking this is gonna be a qiuck in and out visit.
In and out yes, quick visit no. Turns out contractions were real and I've dialated almost 3 cm. Baby girl is so active and fiesty that my uterus and belly are just soooo sensitive and tender to her slightest movement.
Needless to say, we all decided that it would be best to stop the contractions, stay off my feet, monitor fetal movements and contractions until I am in my 37th week.
So for the next couple weeks I will have to move at a snails pace around here. I have so much to do but I am sure that God will give me the wisdom and grace to do it. Until next time, Stay blessed and Encouraged!

Repost & Reflections: The Simple Things & Blessings.

2009-03-06T08:00:00.000-06:00

I wrote this post a few weeks into my pregnancy and my coming home. For whatever reason this morning the Lord led me to go back through some of my older posts and I can now see why. He nneded to show me how far I have come, how much I have grown, and how He blessed me to make it thus
far. I thank Him for all that he has done!

Repost :9/21/08
Lately I seem to have been on an emotional rollercoster during what I percieve as a rather discomforting pregnancy. One day I feel happy and a few moments later I feel hopeless and it was during my tears that I realized how misguided I have allowed myself to become.

Surely I am not the first woman to feel physically ambushed, and I can't be the first woman who had an unexpected detour professionally, and I can't possibly be the first woman to fight for her faith that God will keep her family financially stable on one income.
As I sat and thought of this, my tears dried and an overwhwelming since of shame and thankfulness came over me. Shamefulness for taking my eyes off God and placing them on the here and now of my situation and thankfulness for the here and now of my current situation. I have a wonderful loving husband who showers me with attention and holds me up when I am weak in my mind, body, and spirit. To have this man created by God for me to minister to me and build me up spiritually, to step up for me with our children, and who picks up my slack around the house when I can't is a blessing within itself.
To have our needs met and our dollars stretched in this failing economy is nothing short of a miracle as God truly knows our finances. I truly have a fishes and loaves testimony! To have both my children leave home each day and return without a care in the world, basking in the innocence of childhood is worth a thousand praises.
I had to be reminded that although my life may not be this ideal picture that I painted, it is wonderfully, beautifully and wholly created by the One who deserves all the Glory, Honor, and Praise.
- Stay Blessed and Encouraged!

Nesting, Resting & Snuggling In The Comforts Of My Home

2009-03-04T20:32:00.002-06:00

This has been a very busy yet slow and eventful week for me and my family. I mentioned in my last post that I couldn't wait to get home and boy am I glad to be here.
Friday evening started off rather off course due to the fact when I picked the girls up from after care, Sydnee was asleep on the couch with a burning fever. Poor child did not want to call me at work so she tried to tough it out at school and aftercare. She ended up having the flu and to top it off we got hit with rain /sleet on Friday and snow storm coupled with a power outage Saturday into early morning Sunday only for Sunday to be beautiful and sunny with no traces of snow!!
I thank God for giving me the vision on Saturday to stock up on fruit and cereal because the power went out as I was cooking dinner. It was cold but we just bundled up and went to sleep early.
Monday Mark and I got to spend the day together as his truck was being repaired. We normally don't get to eat lunch but we got a chance to use our Quizno's coupons and enjoy lunch after my OB appt. I am officially in the last lap as I pre-registered and we took a tour of the labor and delivery and recovery ward. It was refreshing to know that the staff agreed with me and my desire not to be "chained" to my bed during the entire labor. Monday evening I guess my nesting instinct kicked into overdrive as I totally re-vamped my kitchen into the wee hours of the morning.

Tuesday it hit me, and I did nothing but recouperate. LOL Today I managed to bake by hand(I am missing my breadmaker paddle) 3 loaves of white /wheat bread, 2 loaves of french baquettes, 1/2 dozen of homemade biscuit to freeze sausage and biscuit sandwiches for the girls for breakfast, a peach cobbler, deer stew, and beef strips with green beans, gravy and rice. Pasta salad and tuna fish for Mark's lunch diet thingy he's on and fruit salad. Needless to say I have been quite the Suzy homemaker today. The best part is that I feel so refreshed and as if I just had the most theraputic day. Now I just need to get some rest!

Back To The Home Front!!

2009-02-27T15:29:00.002-06:00

Lil Miss Thomas @ 33wks

Many of you know that I went back to work through a small temporary assignment. While I had a great time being around other people and knowing that I was contributing to our household expenses helping my husband while we get settled back on our feet, I can say with gladness that today is my last day and I am ready to go home.

Before I ever had the opportunity to stay at home, I was constantly on the go as a single mamma, career woman. My house really had no order, and it was simply a house. I desired a home. When I first became pregnant and had to come home, it was an adjustment for me because it was clearly say it wasn't anything I was used to or familiar with. I wrote in these posts here and here that I just felt frustrated and out of touch. Secretly I longed to go back to work. I was used to making money and I hated to see my husband carry an unexpectedly large burden knowing we were unprepared. So imagine my satisfaction when I got a call to be a receptionist for 6 weeks at a state agency. It was easy so it seemed.

Well then my whole scheduled changed. Instead of getting the girls up and out and returning home after maybe a restless night to catch up on rest, or setting a schedule to have dinner done by the time my family came home; my days became more or less a mad dash to get everyone out the door so that I could make a 30 minute commute to work.

My evenings would end up being tiresome from just being stuck in traffic, trying to run home at least by 6pm, start dinner, have devotion, homework time, pack stuff for the next day, and then off to bed to do it all over. I started to see that I was out of sync from my former working days.

When my hubs picked up a second job, it became being a single mom all over again. Laundry was piling up, dinner ended up being quick and less homemade, more like cereal or quick throw together in a hurry meals. And mornings were just stressful.

I say all this to make this one point. I miss being at home. I now understand so much what my presence means. We need order and momma aint been around to provide it. So with all that being said I have learned so much and I can't wait until I can retreat to the sanctuary of my little humble abode!

Oh yeah, I mentioned in Monday's post that we had video of the sonogram. I think I got it posted, it may or may not work. I wish they could show these at every abortion clinic across the world, maybe then confused young women would change their minds. It's kinda long but you can watch at your own risk.

Have a wonderful weekend. I am off to try Shelia's chore chart from To Love Honor and Vacuum!

From My Husband's Point of View

2009-02-25T08:47:00.009-06:00

Yesterday morning while reading my comments on my post concerning our baby girl, we received what at the moment seemed as a scathing comment . I along with my husband was floored that we even came across as being ungrateful about our baby girl and he was going to post a comment that I later asked him to allow me to use today as a post. However, as the day wore on and as I had time to really sit and reflect on why I was still allowing it to bother me, I realized something. I realized that my anger was unjustified, and unwarranted. Not because I shouldn't care about what people say about me or my blog,especially when I don't know who they are or can't defend myself to them as we all so like to do, but because I am a person who doesn't like to be mis-interpreted or misunderstood. My only desire is that I want to always display the love of Christ. I am growing in my walk with him. I am young in my experience with him, and as I display the child-like characteristics that he instructs me too, I will always be ever learning and humble about my lack of knowledge during my walk with him. And although I "don't have to" I feel led to explain to the many who could have misread my post as uncaring or unselfish, and I thank the Anonymous commenter for speaking her peace and giving me a chance to reflect on how I express my heart as I always want to express it in a manner that glorifies God. I didn't mean to say so much, because I am now going to post my husbands thoughts on our unselfish desire to have a son.

To The Anonymous Reader from Mr. Thomas

The Bible states that in all thy getting get an understanding; so I personally feel lead to explain some things in “Love” so that others will be able understand the desire that we have as a family and still have. I am a husband first and the faithful loving father of 4 beautiful young girls who have a very special place in my heart. One of my desires as a Saved man of God is to some day bring up a young man in the Lord.

A little about my testimony, my mother and father were told that my dad could not have children do to health reasons. But due to their faith in God I am here today. Even after that, my mother almost died to have me because I was almost 10 lbs and breech and the doctors told her that one of us would die, but again through her faith in God's miracle we both made it and I am here today. I am the only son that my father had; and it was a miracle of God that I was born, so my outlook on pregnancy and the life of a new born is not that of selfishness, or ungratefulness as I am a walking miracle. Our motive and desire as a family was not selfish or ungrateful; my family was very excited when we found out that we were expecting. The tears of joy came down our faces because we understood the love that we will be able to render to our child and we conceived on the very first try.

Believe me ,I understand that not all children are born healthy mentally or physically do to reason of many circumstances, As I said before my parent’s were told that my dad could not father children, but my older brother from a previous marriage was born with a birth defect, he died as a teen due to his heart defect, after being told he wouldn’t make it past 2yrs old, so trust me when I say I understand the beauty and preciousness of life. Also because I have worked as a Mental Health Professional for over 7 years; helping many who are mentally & physically challenged I know and understand to be grateful for the blessings of a healthy child.

My desire for a son is special to me, why? It’s a blessing to see a man father his son in general and become active in his son’s life, but it becomes more touching to me when you see a man raise his son in the fear of God and the love of God. Often times I picture myself playing catch with my son, or taking him fishing and going to a football ,or baseball game leaving him lasting memories that will have a lasting impact on his life. I desire to give my son those things that I didn’t have as a child.

I have mentored many young men and little boys and I would occasionally asked them who would they like to be when they grow up and many would mention a star athlete or a star musical singer, but rarely do I hear “Dad” which I find so distressing, so for me to have the opportunity to ask God about having a son for His behalf, regarding myself as his faithful, humble servant isn’t so selfish; a man desiring a son is blessing from God.

To have that desire, and then get your hopes up because you know God promised you this, only to find out that it’s not time for you yet is somewhat disappointing on the immediate front, but to know that God will grant me the desires of my heart in HIS time is precious because God loves His children enough allows me the ability to cast down the disappointment and cling to the joy of knowing that God blessed me to have the miracle of having a child at all. So if we seemed ungrateful for our tears ( which only lasted a few seconds) please forgive us. It was not our intentions to display a spirit of ungratefulness to God's blessings, but our human side got the better of us for a brief moment. Thank you for your honesty and God Bless You!!! Mark Thomas

A Few Good Deals

2009-02-24T09:45:00.007-06:00

Today is I-Hop's annual National Pancake Day and in usual fashion they are giving away a free short stack of pancakes to everyone from 7am-10pm. We did this last year and the girls loved it. There was no need to order any side items because they were full from the "grown up " pancakes. All they ask is that you consider making a donation to the Children's Miracle Network or other local charity. Being that Children's Miracle Network, and St. Jude are my two favorite charities I jump at the chance to support, also I don't have to cook tonight and since Mark will be at work the girls and I get to go out for some mommy daughter bonding time. Did I mention that they LOVE pancakes! LOL! You can find out more about this one day only deal here.

Also, I snagged huge deals at the Goody's Store Closing Sale this weekend. I didn't purchase anything off of the shelves ( the deals weren't as good as they could have been), but I did snag a good deal on a bunch of usable return items. They had a "make an offer sale" and I got an entire large shopping bag of items for only 2$! They are selling everything, hangers, mesh shopping bags, display cases, shelves even their store cleaning equipment ( or at least the store in my area was). This Friday is their last day and I heard through the grapevine that they will have the liquidators in the store and they will be marking items left down to 95% off after 4pm. So if you have a Goody's in your area and think its worth a shot to see if the mark-downs will actually be reflective of a store that is going out of business and wants to sell everything rather than take a loss, then go on by Friday and see what Goody's has to offer.

Crystal over at Money Saving Mom posted this yesterday about Quiznos is giving away a free sub sandwich to the first one million people who register here. From what I was able to determine, you should be able to sign up every adult in your home to receive a free sub sandwich coupon. I signed the hubs and I up and we both got a coupon delivered to our inbox for a free sub. This will make for a really nice lunch date treat.

Have a wonderful day and stay blessed and encouraged!

Little Miss Thomas Is Now A Reality!

2009-02-23T15:58:00.005-06:00

lil miss thomas first pic

Today I had the luxury of taking advantage of a really cool study at the University School/Hospital where I used to work. Basically they strapped monitors on my belly and put this non-evasive instrument on my belly above baby's head and for 20 minutes or so played these sounds that only baby can hear. The test measures brain wave activity and the baby's response to the noises and then responses to complete silence. Cool thing is I have it on video in 4D and I must say I am amazed by the marvels of modern medicine. The even more cool thing was that before we started the testing, the nurses and I had a fun time with the 3D ultra sound machine. The baby cooperated so well that they asked me if they keep going because they very rarely get to practice on a mother who's baby is fully cooperative. That was the coolest thing in the world to me. I am so used to the regular black and white ultrasounds where I have to nod and guess I know what they are showing me, all the while praying that I could figure out what blots are what and what lines are who. So we found out for sure undeniably that we have a beautiful baby girl on the way. And I'm not just showing a mother's prejudice she is beautiful.

I think having this experience today really made her feel real. Not that she didn't before, but to have already seen her and to see her in action moving, twisting, yawning, smiling, putting her foot in her mouth, and even pouting was just surreal. I often wonder what's going on in my belly as she is quite active, now all I have to do is pop in a video and watch her in action. I can't wait to show the girls, this will be over the top for them and I can already see how much she looks like her dad. I only posted on pic but I have two rolls of sonogram pictures, I just snapped a picture of one of my favorites I may try to scan a couple tonight to see if they come out better. I wish I could post some of the video, but it is read only and I can't share it or download it but I can most certainly enjoy it. She already weighs about 5.5lbs and we still have a few more weeks to go!

On a different note, my temporary assignment ends on Friday and honestly I can't wait to return home. I was talking to Mark today and told him that I can tell the balance and order of our home is off. I have so much I want to do to create a sanctuary of peace and organization. Right now chaos and disorganization seem to be taking over. I can tell that the chemistry is off, even though I was sick most of the time there was more balance there than it is now. I have been reading these series of posts by my good friend Lylah. I just love her posts on The Simple Home and Creating a Sanctuary. It has been helpful to me to have that reminder that my sanctuary starts from inside my heart and spirit and for me to make an honest effort and commitment to keep my spirit focused on God's idea for my home's heart and center.

Remember to stay blessed and encouraged. Until next time!

But Only By His Grace Am I Alive Today!

2009-02-20T12:04:00.004-06:00

Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. James 4:14

Today my friends, I am happy to declare the goodness of God's miracles as today my children could have been motherless and my husband a widower, but God saw fit to shelter me and provide me with traveling grace and mercy. I give him all the Glory, Honor, & Praise.

If I could tell you the one thing that is on my mind, it is that I will always ask God to help me never to take leaving home for granted. To stop and still me in our daily morning rush and routine to always remember to say the I love yous. To not stress so much about the undoing's when I walk out of the door. To not stress so much about the "little details" of my kids that at the end of the day seem minute.

God spared me from what could have been a very terrible car accident. My front tire blew this morning ( but didn't blow) while I was driving on the expressway, in the fast lane at at over 70mph. He allowed it to happen on a day when the city schools were closed thus resulting in clearer traffic and no traffic jams. He allowed me to be able to cross over three lanes of traffic and exit off the ramp at a slow speed with out having to depend on the niceness of other drives to let me through, the lanes were empty, there were no 18wheelers. He blessed that a friendly police officer saw me while I was at the gas station talking to my husband, he sent him over my way to put air in my tire and follow me to the nearest Wal-Mart Tire Lube Express which was less than a mile away. He allowed me to drive on a tire that was not drivable in man's eyes. He allowed me to declare his goodness as a blessing and not a stroke of luck to those I encountered. He showed his face to those who couldn't understand how my tire could blow out, but not blow out as normal under the driving conditions. He left people in awe to scratch their heads and agree with me that it was nothing but a miracle of God. I thank Him for using me in that way.

As I sit and type this, all types of thoughts are racing through my mind. My baby is still a little excited and moving in full force in my belly. My husband has peace of mind as he rushed from work to come take care of me. He feels blessed beyond measure and His first thought was to stop and pray to praise God in the parking lot once he saw me and the tire. But my thoughts go deeper than that. Right now, the cereal bowls that were left on the counter don't seem as important. The fact that my daughter wanted to wear ankle socks vs stockings in the 40 degree weather is so irrelevant to me right now. The grape juice spill that is in the bottom of the fridge waiting on me to make an example out of whoever spilled it is laughable. Whether I am carrying a boy or girl is so petty. The fact that my husband loaded the dishwasher last night but didn't start it is a peon excuse for me to be agitated. The fact that I can't sleep when he snores seems ridiculous because now that's all I want to hear. The last conversation with my father last night still rings in my ear " What ever you do baby, stay saved" The only thing I can think of right now as I sit here crying and typing is to follow his advice.

Nothing else really matters. It doesn't matter if I clip coupons, or home school, or have a bunch of babies, or only one more babies, or wear skirts, or pants, or have perfected Titus 2, or read a bunch of books, or taught my kids how to bake, or sew, or make tea everyday or can argue the scriptures up one wall and down the next. All that matters in that one instant, in that one vapor, is this: Is my salvation strong, is it true, has it been in vain, have I glorified you or myself, when this is all over will I see your face?? So ladies I say all this to leave this point. Life is short, it is unpredictable, and as much as we know not to take it for granted, the truth is we do. We get so caught up in our lives, and out opinions, and our quest to be the best we can be, that we need to remember that God's approval is all we need. And we need to make darn sure we have it before we waste precious, irretrievable time, doing what we think is right in His eyes, but really isn't of importance to Him. If we miss heaven, we've missed it all!

Stay Blessed and Encouraged!

Thursday Thoughts and Other Good Reads

2009-02-19T11:04:00.004-06:00

I don't think I need to even mention that this cartoon posted in a paper like NY Post at best lacks humor and is terribly reflective of the author's racial ignorance and blatant disrespect for our country's President. You can read the NY times defend the cartoon here. I question the judgment of the editor to allow such a picture to be printed, knowing it would be taken racially and raise tensions among those who find it as offensive as I do. Not only is it terribly disrespectful to the president, it is distasteful and disrespectful to the poor chimp that was shot and the unfortunate circumstances surrounding that issue. I won't even delve into my feelings about that incident, I am very anti- cruelty to animals and despise when they are trained and used for human entertainment and then disposed of when they do what comes naturally which is follow their instinct of a wild animal. I have never been a big fan of political cartoons and while this country has freedom of speech, I find it appalling that we are using it more and more to degrade each other as human beings.

As a former journalism lover and almost major, this age of media sickens me. My feeling about this come right after just days ago participating in interesting dialogue about slavery and race relations over on Terry's blog post Monday. I tried to take the stand of my race not defining me, but I clearly understand now what Mrs. Henderson and Mrs. Franklin were speaking about when they were so zealous about racial ignorance. Thank you ladies for teaching this young puppy a thing or two. Trust me I now understand. As much as I would like to think that we can walk through this world being one race in God's eyes, I see that sentiments like these are not going to go away. And while I still remain committed to living my life as a child of God rather than a black woman, I will always remember that I am a black woman and things like this do ruffle my feathers a bit. Now, enough of that moving on to some very good reads that if given the change I would love for you to read.

My dear sister Terry as usual has written a thought provoking post after a commenter asked her advice on the best reasons for leaving a church congregation. The comments are well worth the read, and since the question has been answered the dialogue has now turned to scriptural interpretations of "tongues" you can read it here, and I encourage you to read the comments.
Mrs.Anna T has a wonderful post today about how she and her husband are handling all that new baby advice. Her answers and thoughts as usual are graceful and God revering.
My coffee friend Lylah posted a wonderful post here written in her husband's who is a pastor perspective of the crisis of male leadership in the home and how in this day and age men are failing to live up to them. He also defines what male leadership is through God's eyes. I sent it to the hubs to read, and he not only agreed but sent it out to many men that he knows. Lylah also posts about her stockpile of Great Northern Beans and gives many yummy looking recipes for those beans. Definitely gonna try some of those out.
And I absolutely love Shelia at To Love Honor and Vacuum's post yesterday about the importance of finding the right way to take care of ourselves so that we can be the best for our family. Definitely a good read!

Just a few of my favorite things today. I hope you get to read and enjoy.

Why I Am So Thankful

2009-02-17T09:21:00.007-06:00

Mark and the girls

Today I just feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and thankfulness for all the blessings that I seem to have unintentionally overlooked in the past. I was reading this post by Mrs. Anna T and I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because her testimony of her marriage is nearly mirror my life. I realize that I am truly blessed beyond measure, I am blessed exceedingly abundantly all that I could ever imagine. I have a wonderful husband, beautiful children, both my parents, all of my siblings and peace in my home,heart and soul.

Financially I may not be where I would like to be, but I am where God wants me to be in him, he constantly provides a ram in the thicket for us, and lovingly supplies our daily portion of bread. I don't know how we have managed with what we live on other than it being the miracle of God providing for his people. We have not been forsaken, nor begging bread and the best thing is that this financially challenging time that occurred so early in our baby new marriage has strengthened us as a couple. We both know that we must lean and depend on God together and not throw stones at each other.

I started off a little sad because today that wonderful man that God blessed me with starts his part time evening job. He will leave home at 7am and I won't see him until 10:30 that night, Mon-Thur and every other Saturday mornings. I am glad that God provided a job that won't take him away from services on Sunday and we get the weekends, but the girls and I never really imagined how things would be with him out of our family routine, even if it is momentarily. We have become so dependent on him and his presence that this morning as I was dropping them off at school ( normally his thing) there was this cloudy silence in the car. He normally wakes them every morning with pancakes, and he takes them to the bus stop and picks them up after school, they have developed a bonding routine and now it's off a little. We miss him already. But is such a blessing to know that I have someone in my life who is willing to make the sacrifice of a second job even when it hurts him to be away from his family, so that I can focus more on preparing for baby, taking care of home, and reaching our goal of him going back to graduate school in the fall. It's a small sacrifice now, but the end rewards are so worth it.

On a different note, the girls and hubs had a blast at the Valentine's Father/Daughter Ball.We also had a wonderful family Valentine's Day. We took the girls to breakfast, then we went baby shopping. Friday evening my BFF surprised me buy taking me to Target and buying me the Pack and Play Play Yard that I was looking at. She wouldn't take no for an answer so this is what we walked away with. It's so nice to have best friends!

We didn't get the one I was looking at, we got a better one, we also picked up clothes, bedding, and pampers. Mark and I had so much fun Friday night putting it together when we finally finished we were too excited to go to bed. Just having the crib near our bed drew us that much closer to the reality that we are going to have a child created by the most loving circumstances that will strengthen our bond as man and wife.

Saturday we also took advantage of the VD promotion at Old Navy, and the girls really embraced their inner big sister when they were able to use their coupon to purchase baby items. We walked away with tons of baby clearance items for less than $7 as you can see in the pictures. All and all the Thomas family is excited and greatly anticipating our new arrival. We are truly blessed beyond all that we could ever imagine. Stay blessed and encouraged!

Happy Valentine's and All That Good Stuff

2009-02-13T16:08:00.007-06:00

Lately Titus 2, wifely duties, and other marital subjects to name a few have been the topics of many a lively blog discussion. But alas we have a wonderful weekend romantic reprieve. So I encourage us all to take a moment away from biblical blog-land and savor the moment of this one day that many of us don't get to wrapped up in.
I don't have a bunch of love day plans, Mark and the girls will be together on Valentine's Day at a Father/Daughter Valentine's Day Ball sponsored by our PTO. I am geeked and excited for them. I think it is a wonderful thing for our Watch Dog Dad's to want to promote the value of the father/daughter relationship. My kids have never really had that experience and let me tell you, they are so excited to attend this event. I realized that it's not about what Mark and I do, but it is about them feeling valued as little girls which will lead to feeling valued as young ladies. Last night we spent hours in the salon getting the girls all gussied up and I came home late to a wonderful surprise! A gleaming, sparkling clean house, with smell good candles lit, laundry roaring, and my bedroom re-arranged in a way that I couldn't even imagine on my best day to make room for baby. My hubs was even generous enough to hang my clothes that were waiting to be hung on Sat, and he stacked and organized my shoes! I am in heaven!

Now I am feeling less overwhelmed and there is an end in sight for baby preparations. I think while he and the girls are out having a ball, I will go out and purchase some of the items on my list for the baby so that when he comes home he can be surprised by the beginnings of our mini-nursery. I hope to have pics to post. I think yesterday I was feeling a little hormonal. Today I am excited. Maybe it was this email from my mom that put it in perspective:

Sounds like a case of Attention Deficit Disorder. No
seriously, I'm serious. But is there anything too hard for God? You are in the process of de-programming your mind from being totally responsible to letting someone else share your power. Remember that you have a husband now and together the three of you (you, him and the holy spirit) will do what has to be done. That is part of what husbands are for. It seems to me that you are making yourself more anxious about a lot of "What ifs". Try focusing more on the "what is". The first "what is" is that you are on God's side now. The next "what is" is that you have a husband that loves you and is a strong, positive influence for you and the girls. Another "what is" is that you have two children who are excited about having a new baby and will be just as helpful to you as you were to me [Well, that might be something to worry about. (..)].

So I guess I will quit my whining and enjoy the blessings in my life that apparently God thinks I deserve! Also check out my post here if you still are looking for a neat little VD present for your sweetheart. Have a wonderful V- Weekend and Stay Encouraged!

I Am So Not Ready For This Baby!

2009-02-12T11:14:00.005-06:00

I am so not ready to have a baby right now.Maybe I need to stop looking at tickers, maybe I am just having pre-baby jitters but today I feel a little anxious, not fearful, or depressed, but anxious. Why am I anxious? Well being that the ticker keeps reminding me that I am now down to 60 days and really that's just an estimation I am thinking of how much more time I need to prepare for this baby.

I am a high strung person by nature. I have never been one of those 24 hr calm, collected types. I struggle with the feeling of being overwhelmed a lot. Now, I know how to calm myself and take a moment to center on God and focus, but I have more of those having to calm myself days than I do just plain old being calm days. Now don't get me wrong, I am not one of those high anxiety types who constantly walks around in a state of virtual melt-down, but I do struggle with trying to remained focused when there is a lot of noise and movement going on. I get easily distracted and am not one of those individuals who can automatically tune out everything going on around her. I am super watchful of my surroundings, and as much as it is a blessing it is sometimes a thorn being able to hear even the smallest whisper from the back bedroom, or the next door neighbor's television, or the birds chirping, or the lake fountain that my apartment overlooks. Just the simplest noise can somewhat be a distraction kinda like hearing a mosquito buzzing near your ear and not being able to see it.

All of the things that I mentioned above are things about myself that really bother me. These are things that need purging from my life. I need to learn how to function in hustle and bustle. I need to learn how to tune out the white noises that drown my thoughts. I need to learn how to cook and clean, rest, and talk through the noises of distractions.

I often wonder how will I function through the cries of a newborn, the immediate fires of a growing tween on the edges of puberty, and a middle child who for 6 of her 7 years of life clung to me as if she knew I am all that she has in this world and the only one who understands her. I won't mention a husband who tries and is so successful at being the calming eye in my momentary storm, he still needs me too.

The enemy often brings the thought that I am not a successful mom. I believe this is due to the fact that I hold tremendous guilt at not having that precious calming bonding time when both of my girls were born. They were born to a mother who was scared, guilty, full of shame, hurt, neglected, emotionally battered, and in no way emotionally stable enough to adequately bond with my girls. However, we bonded through experience, we bonded through trial and error, we grew up together, we bonded through a failed relationship and later through my return to God. While all those are good bonds, I still miss the experience of bonding with that motherly calm, that I so desperately desired.

Fast forward nearly 10 years later I struggle with wondering if I can pull it off? Can this be my second chance to do it right? Can I bring a baby into a calm and settled environment so that it doesn't have to adjust to the chaos of my unsettled nervousness. While I am nursing this child, can I send it the strong and settled emotions through my milk? Can I be the super mom that I need to be? Will I get so caught up in the noises of being a new mom that I miss a vital distress- signals that my pre-tween may be sending off that only I can detect? Or will my baby who will soon be middle fall victim to the middle child syndrome and feel that she has to vie for my affections? Will my hubs feel neglected and join the masses of Christian men who begin to feel lukewarm vibes from his wife who in return feels misunderstood, neglected, and frustrated? I don't want to be that woman, and I don't want that marriage, but I read about it, I see it personally from others and it's a club I don't want to join.

The only solution that I can come up with is to just cry out to God with my hopes and fears and trust that he will mold me into what HE desires me to be as a wife and mother. To know that fact alone offers a sense of peace and refuge during this time of nervousness!

Shamlessly Plugging for Votes

2009-02-11T14:09:00.002-06:00

Okay, I will admit that I entered my hubs and I into a Valentine's Day Love Story Contest. I did it for two selfish reasons, one is obviously for the nice prize and secondly I thought, what a wonderful way to spread the word of a bible courtship and a biblical marriage. The down side is that I just found out about it yesterday, and the voting for the contest ends tomorrow. We probably won't win, I saw that there is already a couple ahead of us with over 1100 votes. But it's a fun way to spread God's message of true love on a day that the whole world focuses on showing love. The website is here, and if you click on the tab that says vote, our story is on page 3. Thanks for you so much!

Frugal Friday Scanning, Decluttering and Other Musings

2009-02-06T10:59:00.002-06:00

Today I decided to do a Frugal Friday post as I haven't done one in a while. Also I posted another Frugal Friday post over on my other blog SingleMomForGod. Since I have been trying to connect with my nesting phase, coupled with the fact that we won't be out of our apartment until the end of May I have been thinking of ways to de-clutter my home. I have to make room for baby, it's a must, it's inevitable, and it's getting closer. The main thing I struggle with is paper!

Having a daughter who is an aspiring artist, I have tons of drawings, paintings, notes, pictures, and other stuff, and having another daughter who seems as if she goes to school just to collect awards and certificates I have tons of certificates and awards that are collecting. I don't and can't throw them away, but I just don't have enough room for EVERY single picture, or award certificate. I have a husband who loves to write love notes, plus I just hate to throw away stuff that I always feel will come back to haunt me and I won't have letters and forms to refer back to if needed. So while at my job the other day, we were purging files and shredding old documents, the thought hit me to start scanning some of the older things! So I am going to go and see how many inexpensive flash drives I can purchase for each member of my family and I am going to use my 3 in 1 printer and start scanning some of these items on individual flash drives. I am then going to keep them in a safe place, more than likely a fire-proof safe with other valuables and documents and eventually once we get a safe deposit box I plan to transfer them there.

I know computers update, and by the time my kids are old they may not be using memory drives, but the good thing is I can always upgrade to whatever the newest thing is. My idea sounds good in theory, and it may or may not work but it is a very good idea in my eyes and I don't have to worry about loosing important childhood items. I could scrap book and all that stuff, but you know what, it's not me. And I am just not organized enough.

As I stated earlier I posted on my other blog and I am starting to feel led to try and post there at least twice a week. I saw that I still get traffic daily and have been praying for God to direct me on how to keep it going. Now that I am married there are so many things that I see in retrospect and hindsight that I desire to share with those desiring to be married. There is so much advice I have to give on preparing while single for the transition of marriage. So with the Lords help I hope to start posting there when I don't post here.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Holding God's Promises While Things Are Looking Worse

2009-02-05T09:14:00.011-06:00

I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makest me dwell in safety. Psalms 4:8

Lately I have been thinking deeply and meditating hard on how to conduct myself mentally, emotionally and spiritually while waiting patiently and faithfully on the Lord to deliver through on a promise made. Last night my pastor touched briefly on Paul's ordeal during the shipwreck and how even though things didn't look so good, Paul held on and firmly relayed the message delivered by the angel, that all would be safe. Everyone on the ship believed him and felt safe in Pauls words of encouragement. Then my pastor's wife made a comment that hit me like a ton of bricks, she said " Paul believed in God's word, and so the people believed in him, but then the ship wrecked and tore apart" What do you do when the storm tears up your ship before you are brought to safety? Good question.

Now we all know how the story ends, the ship wrecks yet they are all saved, the people on the island treated them well, Paul healed the sick, and fast forward three months later they set sail again with donated support from the locals. Now did God keep his promise to Paul? Yes it's very obvious. But if you rewind back to the passage where the soldiers on the ship tried to save their lives by lowering the life boats and Paul tells them "no one will be saved unless we all stay on the ship" You will see that this is when the battle between confidence in God and human reasoning to save oneself because there is no good end in sight originates.

Imagine being in this situation, someone has told you that they were told by an angel that everyone will be fine, so you assume the storm is going to let up, and all will be fine. But soon after that the storm gets worse, you see no good ending in sight, so you do what comes natural, you try to save yourself from the storm and hope for the best. During the midst of the worse of the storm as you are trying not to drown you're told , no one will make it unless we stay on this ship. While on this ship that is being battered by a horrible storm, you have a decision to make in that split second. You can trust what you have been told and ride it out or, you can jump ship and try to save yourself forgetting about the promise for your safety that was hand delivered by an angel of God to a minister of God. Not only that, but even when you trust him and stay on the boat, it still wrecks and breaks in little pieces, now you are stranded. Where is the promise of safety? Who is going to rescue you? You can't turn around and go back, YOU HAVE NO BOAT!

I have been here many times, and many times my faith fails in this one single area. God has promised me something, given me his word to stand on, I claim it, hide it in my heart and patiently wait, then things don't ever seem as if its getting better, it starts to get worse then I question my faith. I question if I am really going to get out of this situation? I start doubting myself and my relationship with God, I start to wonder did I pray amiss? Did I really hear God on this? Did I find this scripture myself to support what I want or did God really reveal it to me? Am I deceived? Am I still in God's will? I could go on and on with the things that run through my mind.

But after reading this story and really, I mean really stewing in meditation, it really registered
that even though we go through things in this life, and God promises to deliver us, or to make us stronger, or that we need to just wait on him, that things can actually get worse for us before they get better. It doesn't mean that God has forsaken us, or forgotten us, or that we didn't receive a promise from him. He's testing us. He is testing us to see if we will get off the boat that is about to crash into a million pieces in the middle of nowhere during one of the most fiercest storms of the season. That says a lot right there. It shows us where we are in our faith, where we are in our human reasoning, where we are in our trust. Think about how powerful Paul's testimony had to be, not only did they trust him as he trusted God, but even after they wrecked, the soldiers wanted to kill all the prisoners for fear of escape, but because of the favor given to Paul, it didn't happen.

There will be people around us who only look at our outward circumstances, they only see us as a prisoner who may try and escape, but God can give us favor with those who can save our lives and the lives of those just like us. People may never understand, empathize, sympathize or even care about us. They may just want to cast us aside and write us off. But it is our trusting in God through the most difficult of storms, shipwrecks, and castaways that gets us through.

It's hiding his promise in our hearts when the pregnancy test comes out negative again and you know he has promised you a child, or when the husband neglects you yet another time but you know God promised you a marriage after his heart, when you have trusted in him for financial blessings that are direly needed, but the main breadwinner becomes un-employed, the mortgage is in foreclosure, the baby won't feed from the "free milk" and you now need formula that costs the same as a utility bill. Through all of this, God is trying to see how close you are to him, how well do you know his voice, how fast will you look for a way out of your own, and how loud you cry to everyone but him during your time of distress.

I don't know about you, but I am in the process of tearing apart all my little lifeboats. I am asking God to help me keep a calm piece during the midst of my storms, and to know that while storms don't last always, they certainly can become more tempestuous before they end. I want to have the same peace as Jesus, when He and the disciples were also on a ship during a bad storm and during the storm Jesus was asleep. I don't want to be like the disciples running around frantic and frustrated waking Jesus up out of his slumber to quiet a storm that only requires me to have the faith as His to ride it out in deep, peaceful sleep.

Stay Blessed and Encouraged.

Time To Shop For Baby!

2009-02-04T09:26:00.003-06:00

ergo sling w/ infant carrier
evenflo travel system

graco portable crib

medela breast pump system

Well it's about that time for us, that time to start looking at purchasing items for the little one. I will admit that I have purchased absolutely nothing at this point. Not one single thing.

A lot of it had to do with the fact that we were dealt a curve ball one day after finding out we were expecting, I had to leave my job and we were forced to regroup and focus on merging into one income. I planned on trying to work a little, but as most of you know, the first six months or so were up and down for me physically. God has been faithful however that he opened a door and I was able to take a 6week temporary assignment earlier last month. This was right on time because now we have been able to start looking at buying stuff for baby.

For me this is a challenge. I have been out of the baby game for over 7 yrs. I saved nothing because frankly, I never saw this day coming. As a single parent I vowed never ever to have anymore children. Funny how the Lord changes things though, because here I am a little behind on the times, but in the game nonetheless.

So I thought I would first focus on the main items of interest to me. I know that pampers, bottles, bibs, Binky's, onesies, and all the other bells and whistles will more than likely be given to us as gifts, or can be purchased more once the baby gets here. So it's not the top priority for me. However the items I have pictured are the main items of cost and I am going to focus on getting these. Also they are on my must have list. I know that I can probably find them cheaper at Wal-Mart, Craigslist, EBay, Burlington Baby Depot, and even Big Lots. I really just posted the pictures so that I can get reviews from you guys. Like I said, I have been out of the game for a while, and I am older and not as energized as I used to be. So anything that can help me save time and energy gets an A in my book.

We decided not to go with a traditional crib,and/or bassinet. I had all that fancy stuff with my girls and I really don't remember one single night that they slept in it. Since it was just me, it was easier for them to be bed babies, and I nursed which made it so much more easier to feed in the middle of the night. We really had a system going on, I really didn't have to wake up, I could feel them both rooting, I would roll over, pull it out, they would snuggle up, latch eat and fall asleep. I remember burping them both half asleep. I think they knew I had to get up and work so they tried to work with me as best as they could. However, now that I am married and share the bed with someone ( or should I say corner of a bed) we have had the discussion about the baby sharing the bed with us, I have been told a solid and firm no. I submitted and we came to a solution that worked best, we will keep the sleeper by the bed so that I don't have to physically get up and walk in another room. Plus I hate the idea of not sleeping in the same room with my baby. It just doesn't feel right. I think Mark may change his mind though once the 2 hr feeding times come rather quickly. LOL

I really want a nice sling. No reason other than I had used ones before and couldn't really enjoy the benefit of them fully. This time I want a really nice, durable sling. I heard Ergo was the best on the market, if you know of a cheaper, yet goodie, please let me know.

We weighed the option of the car seat/ stroller combo. I found that it was a little cheaper than buying separately. Since this baby will be born in the spring, it will more than likely spend a lot of time outdoors. Especially if the girls get to play softball or soccer. Baby will be at the field with us. And I can't wait until we can take long family walks in park and all that good stuff.

I also want a good breast pump. Mark really wants to be involved in feeding and I want him to have that bonding time with his child. Plus there is a possibility that I will have to return to work to help us reach a goal that we have agreed on. I'll save that for a later post, if I do then I want to still be able to pump my milk. Also with all of the formula recalls this past year, I am terrified of giving my baby formula.

Well I think that about covers it. I am anxious to see what you more experienced ladies have to offer. Where can I get a better deal, what's a better product, any advice, tips, or stories are welcomed.

Have a blessed day!

Thorns, Grace,& Thick Skin

2009-02-03T10:16:00.005-06:00

2 Corinthians 12:7-97 And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me.8For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me.9And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me

Many times when we think of being tempted or temptations, we think of a big obvious pulling for us to do wrong, but I am starting to see that it is not always the big things that tempt us, but the little subtle temptations to not die out to our will that ends up being a big battle. For me lately I have had to stay before God and ask him to give me the grace to continue to remain in his will in dealing with someone who I feel is a thorn in my side. A very hurtful thorn that is just scratching away at my skin, which I now know is not as tough as it needs to be.We know that as saved Christians we are supposed to show love to everyone at all times, even our enemies.

I have been thinking a lot lately about really having "thick skin" spiritually. I don't know what it feels like literally to have a thorn in one's side, but I imagine it is extremely hurtful. I have scraped my thumb on a rose thorn or something like that and it hurt like the dickens, but to have one stuck in my skin and to have the doctor tell me " we can't remove it, but we can give you something to make it more bearable" would seem crazy to me. But this is what God told Paul, he told him, "No, I won't take it away, but I will give you the grace to withstand it".

We repeat that Scripture over and over in our Christian walk, but I am actually meditating upon it. These are just some examples of the No's God has told me.

NO: I won't make that person be nicer to you; but I will give you the grace to show extra kindness even when they are becoming more vindictive.
NO: I won't make your financial situation change at this moment; but I will give you the grace to be more resourceful, appreciative, frugal, and I will make you cleave to closer to me for your daily portion of bread.
NO:I won't make them understand your point of view; however I will give you the grace to take and hold fast to your faith unwavering and bold.
NO: I won't make your child become first time obedient; but I will give you the grace to grow in first time obedience to me and leave an example for your child to follow.
NO: I won't take away all your pregnancy ailments; but I will give you the grace to endure and to love this child even more for your sacrifice.
NO: I won't make your life as easy as you want it; but I will give you the grace to be content in the state that you are in.
NO: I won't give you support on that issue that you are seeking, but I will give you the grace and mercy to see that you are wrong and I will turn your feet around to the right path. I will keep that person in your life who will tell you my truth, and I will give you the grace to measure up to it.
NO: I won't allow you to receive the appreciation you feel you deserve; but I will give you the grace to realize that you are doing all things unto me and not unto man. I will also give you the knowledge and understanding that I am a rewarder of those who diligently seek me.

None of us likes to hear the word NO. If we say we do all the time, then we are not being totally honest. But the good thing about that is, that we have a Father who not only may tell us NO, but will help us through surrendering our hurt, swallowing our pride, and yielding unto his will in order to receive a higher blessing of His grace.

Scripture tells us to heap coals of fire on their head and to love our enemies. This also applies to our loved ones who are not our enemy, but may not be treating us as mandated by Scripture. If we know and believe what we read, how then does this become a test for us; and how does it become a test not to fall victim to our own will and retreat to our turtle shell of protection? We protect ourselves in many ways, we lash back, we render evil for evil, word for word, we whine to others, we sulk, pout and stomp our feet until we get our way, or worse, we retreat into our shell of silence and distance. Flesh by far does not like to be hurt, not even a slight nick or scratch, but our tests are only to make us stronger and if this is the case, then we should be seeking God for a total strengthening of our mind, body, soul, even skin.

Just as the skin on your body is an outer layer of protection, so is your spiritual skin. If it is too thin and dry, then it will tear and little infectious things will start to penetrate through and work on deteriorating your heart, and mind, and eventually your soul. If your skin is thick, then it will protect you from tears, and things will not be able to penetrate it as easily allowing you to remain focused on God's will and not the annoying pain of dry, scaly skin.

I was reading this article about temptation and how just as Jesus had only the word to use on the enemy, we too must use the word and the word only to fight him and to fight ourselves when tempted to yield unto our understanding, feelings, or will. We have to find those skin thickening scriptures and say them out loud at times in order to fight the hurt from those thorns that Satan uses to buffet us. Some thorns God may not remove, but I truly believe that as our skin thickens, the thorns buffet us less until eventually we will not even know they are there.

Be Blessed today, and Stay Encouraged and Spiritually Nourished!

Coupons Really Do Work

2009-02-02T16:20:00.003-06:00

We've all been sick with the yucky stuffy head cold stuff that has been going around and actually this turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I decided that I was going to conquer the piles of coupon inserts that I have been saving since last year. While most of them expired and I randomly used any of them, they did come in handy for me this week. Normally, it is hard for me to grocery shop under $100 bucks.

I am not one of those wives who cooks stuff up for a rainy day, although I do freeze left-overs, but I am married to a man who believes in nothing going to waste and is athletic to match. I learned to cook in the quantities that are just enough for the four of us with maybe a little left over for the hubs to take to lunch. And I have failed miserably at menu planning. I tried but really each day my cravings and desire for food changes, so it is hard for me right now to just make myself want to eat something that I really don't have a taste for. However I have done really well with planning my meals from the cupboard and almost eliminating the stopping to pick up what I have a taste for and that has helped tremendously!

Thursday- I finally finished clipping, sorting, and somewhat organizing the coupons that I have.
Friday- I went on the Money Saving Mom website and I was looking at some of the deals that were posted, I realized that I had coupons for a lot of them. I normally shop at Kroger and Wal-Mart so I went on the Kroger website clicked on the sale items that I had coupons for, organized them from lowest to highest ( since Kroger doubles coupons) and away I went.
My bill in the end was almost 90 before taxes ;after coupons I only paid 53.00 after taxes for a ton of groceries. I was proud at that moment, and while I realize that some could have gotten away for much cheaper, this was a huge step for me. Then I moved on to Wal- mart and used those coupons that were like $1.00 or more on things I knew I could get cheaper. I walked away saving over 28$ in coupons only paying around 40$ for the household stuff and other things that we use from there. So in the end I was able to shop at two stores and spend the same amount that I spend at one store on groceries.
Saturday- The family and I took advantage of Sam's super bowl madness and made a treat day out of just the samples. We do this at least once a month because #1 its free snacks and the kids love it, #2 it's great exercise for me and fun time for the girls. Saturday they really had some cool eats and despite all the heavy traffic for those shopping for Super bowl parties we had a blast! I also snagged some great near free deals at Wal-greens. They has some items on sale and rebate that we actually used so it was nice taking advantage of their deals and I walked away with some register rewards which I have never done before for next to nothing once I stacked the manufacturer's coupons with those items.

I think this coupon thing may actually work for me although I can't say that I am ready to make a full time chore out of it, I do appreciate that there are blogs out there devoted to them! Have a wonderful and blessed day!

Things That Absolutely Appall Me

2009-01-28T12:36:00.001-06:00

This morning the hubs and I were watching the Today Show on NBC and were discussing a piece that they had on teenagers and the dangers of a new phenomenon of" Text-ual Harassment" and "Sex-ting" you can watch the video here.It wasn't this new phenomenon that appalled me, it was the advice given by the two ladies who were interviewed. One was the president of the Ad Council that created the ads for the teenagers, the second was a Child Psychologist and mother of 4 daughters.

To summarize the commentary of the two "experts" parents should basically not take an active approach to textual harassment, or sex-ting when it occurs with their teens. You shouldn't address the other teens or their parents because it runs risk of your child being labeled "uncool" once it gets out they told their mommy and daddy on you. You shouldn't threaten to take away their Internet and cell phones when they send nude or racy photos or when they receive and forward these said photos around. Instead you should just warn your teen of the dangers of cyber and cellular stalking and abuse. And this type of abuse often opens the doors to the likelihood of domestic abuse for the abuser and the abused. In a nutshell you should basically be your child's friend, listen to them, and if they don't want to open up to you send them to a school counselor or another comfort adult. Basically someone who will pacify your child.

Okay am I missing something here??? I remember when I turned 16 or 17 I got my own phone line in my room. Back then that was the big thing, to have your own line with your own number in the phone book. I still could not have calls after 8pm and when I got caught sneaking on it late one night or early one morning rather, the guy I was talking to caught an earful of my mother bringing the wrath of disobedience immediately and very unsuspectingly to me. Never did she apologize for the embarrassment she caused and the next day my phone was disconnected. I didn't get my own phone again until I was an adult. End of story. There was no friendly singing of Kum Bah Yah, just plain old take my rules or loose your privileges plus some.

I have yet to figure out why a teenager under 16 who is not working, or involved in extra curricular activities that warrant having the privilege of a communication device needs with their own cell phone or their very own computer access? Why if the only thing that you need to do is to call me and let me know you are ready to be picked up, or that you are on your way home,etc, do you need extras like texting? Why are organizations spending millions of dollars on public service announcements on trying to help teens cope with this? Why not just simply remove the problem? Why is it that we have to pass laws for safer driving because our children try to text and drive, why not just simply realize that they are not mature enough for such things and DON'T GIVE IT TO THEM??

Furthermore when did a lack of these gadgets equate social demise for the teenager? Also, you will hear the Child Psychologist give the lamest advice on how a parent is supposed to become aware of your child's circle of friends without seeming as if you are snooping?? She even stated that her home phone never rings for her girls because they are always receiving text messages on their cell phones! Whatever happened to the good old days when you couldn't have a friend until your parents met? Am I truly stuck in some dark age? I mean really, am I holding on to a standard of parenting that is becoming extinct? Must I ask myself a question that I already know the answer to?

Sadly, this is the way of the world for our future generation. Our children are being raised by parents who can't say NO. They are learning to waste time and money on solutions to simple problems that are presented as overly complex. Instead of removing the snake from your house, they are being taught how to cope with living with a snake!

I cannot imagine living in my home with my daughters and not having a clue as to what is going on in their lives. I am a nosey momma as my momma was with me. I ask questions, I dig through pockets during laundry time, I read notes that are left in backpacks. There is no off- limits zone in my house, no reasonable expectation of privacy. I call parents before my child calls their child and introduce myself. I don't allow them to go on invites where the parent hasn't called to introduce themselves but rather stuffed invitations in the backpacks of their kids without leaving some sort of RSVP number so we can at least have a conversation.

Some may say that I need to set a boundary of trust with my children and I believe that I will but I will always remember that " Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction will drive it away." The rod in my book doesn't always have to be a literal rod, but the rod of being as much as an all knowing parent as I can be. The rod of letting my child know that I serve a God who won't allow his teaching to return void. A God who is all knowing and will give me the wisdom to ask the right questions, and who will expose every secret thing.

I know that this is a horse that has probably been beaten to death, resurrected, and beaten to death again. I just don't see where this type of advice fits with those of us who have vowed that "For me and my house; we will serve the Lord"

Yucky Weather

2009-01-27T16:14:00.004-06:00

We are experiencing some pretty yucky weather this way. Hopefully the kids will not have school tomorrow and we can sit at home and make a yummy chicken pot pie using this recipe.

I love in climate weather days, the only thing I don't really like is that I live in an apartment and don't have a wood burning stove. Plus I want to tackle some much needed de-cluttering and packing as we will be having to move to a bigger place here soon. Pray for us concerning this, we are looking for the right neighborhood, the right land-lord and to remain in the same school zone. Well I hope that you and your family have a blessed, safe and wonderful evening.

Reflection on Mustard Grain Faith

2009-01-23T15:18:00.004-06:00

I was reading through the older posts from last year on my other blog. I was trying to look back and reflect on my life and to measure the mileage on my journey from last year to where I am now. When I wrote this post, I was in a season of prayer, my now husband had just approached my pastor and I about his desire to marry me. It was something that I wanted for so long, but when it came I felt unworthy.

Fast forward a year later, I am now married to that man and expecting his child in a few weeks. We went through a period of plenty before we were married and now after being married we are now in a period of less. We have become stronger, more grounded in our faith as God has always provided a ram in the thicket, and as his word promised we have yet to beg for bread. However, that doesn't mean that we still have fears and insecurities about those things that we desire for our family. While we appreciate this time of struggle materially, we do have needs and desires that we have placed on the altar before the Lord. This post last year was of a different nature than this time last year, but is exactly what I needed to reinvigorate my faith this year. I just wanted to share and I hope that it is a blessing to some one. Be blessed and have a wonderful weekend.

Previously Posted on SingleMomForGod

I would like to share with you what has been on my mind heavily the past few days. I feel at peace sharing my most intimate thoughts with my readers, this helps me stay focused. It keeps me accountable, and I ask for your prayers that I will grow stronger in this area of my life.

As women, I believe there are times when then enemy tests our faith. Not our faith in the things we desire or ask of God, but our faith in ourselves. We have these nipping insecurities that will rob us of our joy and peace. Mine is a battle of self doubt. With this being said we have to constantly remember that we are daughters of the highest lineage and when we keep his commandments and prove him to be true to his word,then we are deserving of all the blessings he gives us.

I find it so odd that when we are growing up, we place so many unnecessary expectations and time lines on ourselves and our lives. If not careful we let society dictate where we should be in our lives at a certain time in our lives. When we start to reach those self imposed time-lines we want to panic if we are not close to our goals. This all happens simply because in our planning stage we planned, we planned and not God! Hence the anxiousness and undue burdens some women carry about daily. (myself included)There are certain things that I have been before God about, and now that I am seeing that he is proving himself to me, I find myself battling fear. Fear of unworthiness, fear that I simply am not prepared to receive the gift I have asked for. Fear of my current place in my life and all those unreached goals, and just plain old fear of the unknown. I battle fear that I should be at a certain place in my life in comparison to others who's situations are not even close to being similar to mine.

The funny thing is that this is all me measuring myself, and not how God sees me. I feel strong in my heart that He is pleased with me, so why the fear? Well I guess the fear is there because the enemy needed to clock in to work today. The enemy keeps showing me all the ways that I am not prepared in relation to my measurements. However, God is so faithful, that he will not leave us or forsake us and he will give us victory over our fears and allow us to grow into his blessings. I don't believe one bit that he blesses us before we are ready and able to appreciate, and accept what he gives us.

More Love Please!!

2009-01-22T10:59:00.012-06:00

No, I don't have Obama-mania, but I will admit that over the past couple of years I have been inspired in love with the way they openly show their love and admiration for each other. As a former loather of all things PDA, I have had a change of heart. Maybe it's because I am newly married, or maybe it's because I am finally glad to be able to see un-staged, unscripted, healthy, vibrant love on display for the world to see, by a young couple with kids. I now think it's a beautiful and healthy thing that the world needs to see more of.

Now I don't really agree with the mainstream media, who have already given them the task of restoring a positive image of "black love". I actually kinda resent it being tied just to one race. However, after much observation ( over the past couple of years) I will admit it's something I believe could be on display more openly in the Christian arena.

I mean we talk and post about all these things we need to do behind closed doors to spice up our martial relations, but publicly it just seems as though its more business as usual. I see Christian couples out together, out spending time with the kids and all that stuff but I don't see much of the flirting, the sparkling looks in the eyes, the playful looks that can only be understood by the couple but felt by anyone within close proximity.

mark and I on our last night of our honeymoon.

Mark and I get tons of heat from some, even family about how "all up under each other" we always are. We get lovingly teased in church because we sit so close that we read from one bible. We hold hands while we drive and when we are out eating, we always sit at a booth and next to each other. I mean, it's not tasteless making out, but we do sit close, we walk close, we are engaged in each other when we are out and the girls think we are romantic. After we came under heavy fire during the holidays from a close relative it hit me finally that the world is not used to seeing the effects that Godly love between a husband and wife portrays. He gets called hen pecked, whipped, nose wide open and other such crazy things, and while the criticism may hurt a little, we both know we were not being vain, but humble about how we feel about each other.

Sadly, many of my friends and relatives outside of my church peers aren't used to seeing me or with someone who is attentive to me, who never leaves the room without asking all if there is something he can get them while he's up. They aren't used to seeing true chivalry. The chivalry that is alive in my husband is only because it is a virtue that God put in his heart. He doesn't try to make the other guys look bad, I don't try to make the other women look like I am "oh so holy", but we revel in how God has ordained for us to treat one another; and while it would seem more tempting to retreat and fall victim to the lie that we are causing an offense, we have just purposed that we will continue to bask in the miracle of the love that was made and given from God. Truly of ourselves we are not deserving, but God gave us a testimony and we will share it as humbly as possible and stay true to ourselves. We are in love, and the world doesn't want us to show that openly.

I think about Matthew 5:16, Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. In my mind this applies to not only how I conduct myself as a Christian, but how I advertise my marriage.With all the superficial filth and the demoralization of love in our culture today, true and blessed love from God between two people needs to be displayed openly. I'm not talking about only a "yes dear, submissive, obligatory love, I mean constant aura of courtship and bliss. I also don't mean that we need to compete with the overly sexed make out sessions, and walking around with our hands stuffed down each others britches, groping and falling all over each other displays of affection. But there needs to be something that isn't always seen as so serious or starch collar.

We don't need to walk around looking as though we love each other out of obligation as if we sleep in the same room in separate beds with wool night gowns donned with stocking caps either.We want this world to once again embrace the sanctity of marriage, the beauty of biblical courtships,and the true grit of sticking it out and weathering the storms. We want women to embrace biblical femininity, loving submission, and to turn away from the detrimental viewpoints of our feminist counterparts. We want more men to be strong, biblical, loving heads desirers of all things lovely,well who exactly do we think is going to advertise this? Certainly not this mainstream, anti-family culture! Not Hollywood or the music industry with its carefree love and overly sex crazed ideology of the perfect life. Yes, we have books, but really and truly they often begin with good intentions and then dwindle away once one's attention span has been distracted by "other things".

People are more drawn to the images they see. They are more drawn to love in action versus love in words. Christian couples are the dwindling light that is becoming overshadowed by the darkness of lust, divorce, fornication, and all things contradictory to the word of God.So with that being said, I encourage us all to try a little harder to show the world outside of blogging and writing about how happy we are, and how much better having a strong marriage is than the alternative the world has to offer. Maybe we need to outwardly show that we have happy, loving, fun and flirtatious marriages a little bit more. I believe that a couple can be together so long that they just fall into a routine lockstep and really aren't aware of our presentation or lack there of of our contentment vs complacency.

We can compete with them, I believe we do out number them. Why? Well we all believe that love conquers all and according to Scripture love beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Love never fails.

edited to add: I added photos' of VP Biden and his wife Jill, because I love them too! They are the coolest granparents and a cute mature couple!

First Lady Thoughts and Baby Update

2009-01-20T12:06:00.003-06:00

May I always look at my husband with this much pride, love, assurance and awe! I am so thrilled to have such a wonderful model and example in our new First Lady and Mom-In- Chief.
The way she supports her husband so full of grace has always inspired me. When I saw this photo I felt it captured a time-less view of her love and admiration for her man.

On a different note, a quick little pregnancy update. The family and I went to my ob visit for my ultra-sound. Earlier I said we were praying for a boy, well we're not 100% sure but it looks like another little woman in the house. I will admit, there was a brief moment of disappointment, the girls immediately broke out in tears, they were so praying for a "baby brother" and my hubs who is excited that we are having a healthy baby tried to hide his temporary let down of the male desire to father a son. I must admit I shed a tear or two. I had a strong desire to give my husband a son, but I am glad to be giving him a child at all. We sucked it up and my soon to be middle child ended the note with " It's okay mommy, as long as we have a healthy and very pretty baby sister, we'll be fine!" So, we are fine!

I am in the beginning of my third trimester and feeling pretty good. I am just trying to get my body ready for the birthing process and fuel up so that I can breast feed with no avail. After reading Anna's birthing story, I have been searching out Douala's in my area so that we can sit down and come up with a good birth plan. To this day I still feel the after effects of my epidural ( migraines, black-outs, constant pack pain due to the injection site not closing as fast as it should which resulted in my leaking spinal fluid) and I am really leaning to investing in a birthing ball, and to try to labor as much as home as possible before going to the hospital.

I have had the unfortunate experience of having both my water broken and my labor induced and I have no desire to travel that road again. I won't swear to a natural birth, but I want it to be as natural as possible meaning no induction or labor or forced breaking of my water. Time is winding down and my excitement is growing. We welcome advice here, so feel to pass your stories along!

This Moment in History

2009-01-19T12:28:00.005-06:00

I have sat and thought a lot about today, tomorrow and my true feelings about it all. During the election I sometimes felt as an outsider by the anti-abortionists, anti-socialists and the other anti- Obamanites. I supported Barack Obama although I didn't agree with his stances that directly went against my Christian beliefs. As much as I searched in my heart, my support for him was like having to choose between the lesser of two evils.Yet still, I hid my enthusiastic pride from my blog on Nov 4th when he was elected the first African American President of the U.S.

I honestly tried and was successful in removing race from the forefront during the election year, but then again, how could I honestly remove all my racial ties from a candidate who for the first time in history was more like me than the other guy?? Truth is, I couldn't remove it 100%. The parts of me that have spent all my life fighting racism was pulling for him. That part of me was rooting for him, not as a savior to my race, but as a history maker that defied the odds. So many times I read blogs and try to remain neutral even when I sometimes wonder if certain assumptions are made based on stereotypical data. I am a Christian wife and mother, an avid follower of Jesus Christ but before people see that, they see my color. Not always in a negative way, but still the honest fact is that as a human race we cannot remove color from our daily lives and I just refuse to pretend that it's non-existent all together in the land of Christianity.

You see, for my daughters this week is a monumental event for them. Sydnee, my eldest has met former President Bill Clinton twice in her 9 year life time. Once when she was only 6months, and once last month when her school was chosen to hear him speak. She was excited to have him autograph the picture taken with him when she was a baby, he was very willing to oblige her request. While that was a "cool" moment for her, her wishes now are to meet President Obama. People sometimes tell her she favors his oldest Malia, so she is now fascinated about the "two black girls who get a chance to live in the White House"

That statement alone resonated with me. From my mother's generation of living through the civil rights movement here down south, and living through de-segregation (she was one of the first students to go to her high school after it was de-segregated) and now my daughter some 40yrs later talking candidly about the two black girls who get to live in the White House really means something. My mom and my daughter can now take part of a compare and contrast conversation about two equally important events that happened within their lifetime.

My mom who when at my daughter's age didn't have quality text books versus my daughter who can write a book report on the first African American First Family. It's history, it's beautiful, and it's something that I refuse not to acknowledge because I didn't grow up in my mom's history. I refuse to dis-engage myself from this precious moments because society ( even black society) now feels that racism is over and my generation has disgraced the Civil Rights era. I won't pretend that this isn't a proud moment for me because people think we have played "the race card" so many times. I believe that my God in heaven would want me to be proud. I believe that He allowed this moment in history to happen for a reason. I won't sit back and wait for him to fail because that would not reflect the attitude of my Father. I will be proud for him and his family, I will be proud to live in this moment in history, I will embrace this moment and I will not be ashamed. We have come very far as a nation and as a race, we are still healing, but we still have so much farther to go.

photo taken from www.democraticstuff.com

My Thoughts On The Gift Of Marriage

2009-01-16T10:05:00.012-06:00

erin n dad working on her book report and reading list

Yesterday, I walked out of the bedroom into the kitchen on this heart stealing scene. Since we have become a family, Mark has replaced me as the homework guru. Not because I have been sick with the baby, or tired, or busier, but because I was fired from homework detail. Yep, my girls the first week of school got together, had a meeting, and officially stated that since I had spent so many years doing homework, they wanted to give me a break and let "daddy do it."

At first, I thought it's a cute gesture, it won't last, but it's cute. Needless to say, we are now in the second semester and I only get called in as a sympathy measure because I wander aimlessly around trying to fit in the circle. Part of me was overly grateful, because with all the preggo issues, I really needed a break and wasn't always feeling 100% enough to try and figure out all the new method's of fourth grade math and science. Or I wasn't feeling animated enough to read in character ( something I have never been really good at) for my first grader's weekly reading homework. The other part of me was a little envious because once I got up and running I noticed that, they never came back to ask me into the homework club. I was officially sidelined and a little bit of my pride felt pinched. As I took time to really sit back and observe ( without correcting) I realized the awful truth: He is so much better and patient at this than I am.Scripture tells us to give honor to whom honor is due, so I feel the need to do so today.

Also, after reading my dear friend Terry's blog over the past few days, and this post, and the comments thereafter, I felt the need to put my true feelings to paper. While I am still a newly-wed, I have seen dozens of double digit decade marriages nd I have lived through some of the most awful relationships, and seen some pretty horrific examples of a marriage so I gleaned from those experiences to form this thought. In my mind, marriage is a beautiful and wonderful thing, and while we may get on each others nerve, nag, struggle to find our rightful place in our marriage, feel as though we don't measure up, feel as though we measure above and beyond reproach, feel we are experts or novice, or feel that intimacy is over or underrated one thing is true and certain we are mandated to reverence and love each other.

A wife is supposed to see to that she reverences her husband, and a husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church and gave his life for it. When I think of Christ dying for the church, I don't think of him taking time out to see if there was a checklist of his duties as a man. When I think of Sarah, I don't see her muttering about how undeserving Abraham was of the title she gave him of "my lord". I don't see any of that. Yes, the bible spells out what wives are supposed to do and what husbands are supposed to do, and we can add or take away our own convictions and beliefs; but at the end of the day it goes back to REVERENCING AND LOVING AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH.

Neither of those terms involves selfishness, obliviousness to the spouses needs, wants or desires, or a preemptive attitude of the role each other plays. It simply means we cant let the ups and downs of everyday life get in the way of reverence and love.

I will end with this. No matter how the circumstances of your marriage came to be, it happened in your life because God allowed it. He gave you the person you married as a gift. No one said you will like the gift always, but all in all its a gift. And on that faithful day, when you stand before him to take account of how you took care of the gifts he gave you ( spouse, children, job, family, time, and knowledge of his word) nothing else will matter. Nothing, not how much laundry you did, or how many coupons you clipped, or menus you planned, or homeschooling, or blogging, or even how neglected you felt. You will only be judged for the way you handled the gift he designed especially for your life. If you were a gift in someone else's lifetime, then guess what? They will be judged for how they treated you. You do your part and let God take care of the rest, it may not feel good all the time, but you can't go wrong.

Have a wonderful and happy weekend, stay blessed and encouraged!

A Neat Inexpensive Valentine's Day Gift Idea & My Preggo Belly

2009-01-13T13:02:00.005-06:00

the gift sydnee made for her dad

the gift we gave my parents

I just wanted to share a neat little gift idea. We were really strapped for cash this Christmas and so I went to Walgreen's online and created this collage for my mom and dad individually using a few of our wedding photos that we thought would be their favorites. We were blessed that instead of purchasing the photos individually, our photographer sold us the CD along with the copyrights for about $1 or less a picture. The CD also included my bridal portraits too. I also went in and created this for my oldest daughter to give to her dad for Christmas. The cool thing is that you just upload your pics and the computer arranges the collage. It arranged both of ours perfectly. We were told it was the best Christmas present ever. We purchased nice black framed and just wrapped them up for my folks and for my daughter's father we just paid for the print and had it ready for pick-up at the Walgreen's closest to his address. I just thought I'd share this nice little gift that we spent less than $20 bucks on total. Valentine's day is drawing near and this would be an ideal gift for your sweetheart! ( just click on the picture if you want to see it larger)

edited to add: a photo of me sitting at a desk with my bun in the oven.

Still Alive & Well

2009-01-12T14:16:00.002-06:00

Where do I start??? Well first and foremost I'm still alive and doing much better. Baby has settled down and we have reached an understanding that he/she has to chill out and just stay put for the next 90 days or so.

I have been a horrible blogger, but with all that has been going on in my life its just been challenging for me to find a soap box and stand on it. I'm still learning the marriage thing so I feel out of place to start all of a sudden blogging as a marriage expert. I still struggle with the desire to return to work for obvious financial reasons so blogging about how much I love being a stay at home wife and mom would be very hypocritical of me because I am still finding my niche in that role. So I have just taken a break due to severe writers block. I don't want to be one of those bloggers who just blog because they don't want to miss a day of blogging, also it is often said that if you don't blog regularly then you loose your blog followers and I guess I just don't want to feel like blogging is a job for me. So I just sit here and peruse blog land, leave my comments and continuously try to feel inspired.

On a different note family life is great, we had a wonderful holiday and new year. My hubs birthday is New Year's Day so it was a very wonderful experience to bring the new year in with him and the girls as a family. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful husband, and while we are both coming into the growing pains of domestic habitation, its still fun and loving. We have made it through our first six months and it hasn't been hard at all. We keep God first and I stay in my place as a wife who submits to her husband and I love it because I have a husband who lives exactly what the bible says, he loves me as he loves himself and he treats me as such. It is kind of funny watching us mold together as a family. The girls love him but they try their little shenanigans that children do. We have had a few bumps in the blending but early on I let them know that Mark is their daddy and the head of our house and there is no allowances for disrespect or drama. I explained to them that mommy has an obligation to God to obey and follow daddy and we will not be a divided family. There is no step-dad, or step-daughters we are a family and mommy trusts daddy's decisions, so the old divide and conquer tactic won't work.
It didn't take long for them to fall into place once they saw that I wasn't falling for the old divide and conquer trick. They saw first hand we were on one accord, even if I didn't agree with something, we took it behind closed doors, talked about it, and moved on from there. That would be the advice that I would give any single mom on the road to marriage. You have to trust your new husband with the best interest of your children and as the head of your house. You have to submit to his authority which means your children have to also. If you don't feel you can trust him, then don't marry him. But I will save all that for another post.

Well I think that's about all for the updates, hubs and I find out what's in the oven on the 20th so next Tuesday I most certainly will be posting. We are praying and hoping for a boy but will be satisfied with either sex. Keep us in your prayers and Stay blessed and encouraged.

Prayer Request, Pregnancy Advice and Update

2008-12-19T09:41:00.004-06:00

My prayer request and my pregnancy update are one in the same. I am now about 23 weeks and getting a little bigger by the moment. Hopefully I'll find a pregnancy pic that I like and post it. So far all seems well. I am way past the excessive nausea phase and only have to deal with it when I eat something that doesn't agree with baby. However, I still am unable to hold down water, juice, or anything non-carbonated. I know that carbonated drinks are not good for me, or the baby but I have been advised that at least ginger-ale is better and to try to keep fluids going through my body. I have never been an avid water drinker, but now that I can't keep it down, it is all I crave. I've tried lemon water, ginger water, ice chips and cubes, popsicles and the likes but they only come right back up. This is causing me extreme dehydration which is bringing on contractions. At first I thought that maybe I was experiencing braxton-hicks and really couldn't remember what they felt like, but over the past week I know that the pain I feel now are contractions. The past couple of days have been intense and last night they were 6-10min apart.

I tried relaxing because my doctor's appt is not until the week after Christmas. I followed the nurses advice to try to keep the fluids coming and to stay off my feet until my doctor's appointment but if that doesn't work by today then I am looking at a possible hospital stay depending on if I have dilated any coupled with IV drip and total bed-rest.

So I am asking for your prayers during this time because we certainly don't want baby coming early at all and I really don't desire a hospital stay and complete and total bed-rest. We are praying that there is no dilation and that I can increase my fluid intake with water or something more healthier than carbonated drinks.

Family is doing great, my girls are growing up to be such helpers. They were out of school earlier this week due to an ice storm here and they took such good care of me and themselves while demanding that I stay in bed and keep my feet up. As a matter of fact I am off to school now to try to spend a few moments with them on this last day of class. Continue to pray for us and we will do the same. I will post an update on baby's progress. Again thank you for your continued prayers and support!

the thomas family

What If I You Just Don't See It???

2008-12-18T10:52:00.001-06:00

James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.KJV

When I started to struggle with things while in the newness of my spiritual life that I could argue or debate against the technicality of Scripture, this is the scripture that would come to me. I started asking myself could I just submit and do or do with out the thing for the glory of God until I received clear direction of his will. Is my defense of how I see things so important that I can't just try the opposite of my will to have the ability to walk circumspect with the Lord ?

I stared to find out that Once I submitted and said " Lord I don't agree with or see this matter that is weighing on my heart but I will humbly submit and see where you lead me", begin to do so then I felt free and clear about the matter and received that needed direction and conviction in my heart about where God will have me to stand on the matter.

As I sit sometimes and read many blogs and blogger comments, I often wonder If on those things we read that we think of as too extreme, or an over-exaggeration of Scripture do we have an obligation to stop and ask ourselves is God trying to tell me something? Is there something he's showing me? No, I blatantly disagree with this sister's point of view but why Lord is it weighing on my heart so heavy? Why am I feeling drawn to devote my time to prove her theory wrong, could she be right? Or, are we so sanctimonious and caught up in our stands and beliefs that we could never entertain that we could have been taught wrong? Or do we just think that certain beliefs calls too much for us to step outside our comfort zone because Salvation doesn't require all that?

I know that we all have different interpretations on Scripture, we have different doctrinal view-points some of them have similar foundations but just a little different structure, but one thing holds true, we all feel that we are blogging in the will of the Lord, to spread a ministry and enlighten the world on the biblical principals that concern us as wives, mothers, and godly women. We jostle each other's creative juices with thought probing posts and revelations but then there are times when we just don't see or agree with another sisters' ministry. Scripture doesn't mean that to us, and things become a tad bit legalistic, or extremist. So who's right? We say search the Scripture to see if what we read is relevant to us and God's will for us; but if we are searching the Scripture defensively with the hopes of debunking another sisters idea are we then keeping an open heart, mind, and will for God to show us that what we have been taught, or discerned from the Scripture was maybe wrong, or maybe needs to move up another level?

Could God show us one thing for one season or period in our lives, and then direct us outside of our comfort in that area to prepare us for another season in our lives? Could there very well be a teaching or way of thinking that makes no sense to us now, but could possible save our children or grandchildren 20yrs from now?

Trust me, I am not naive enough to go out there and try any and everything I disagree with, but in being honest with my one soul there are those things that only God and myself know about that burdens my thoughts and my mind. I am honest with myself about these things, and I take it to God to see if he is trying to show me anything. So many times we think that we are in the Scripture but the interpretation that we get from that Scripture is what we pull from it to satisfy our own will and desire. My biggest fear is that I will become deceived by my own interpretation of Scripture because I want it to fit into my box.

I often think of the story in the gospel Luke where Jesus confronted Simeon Peter after they had spent all day fishing with no desired result. He told them to launch out into the deep. It is evident by their response to Jesus that they were tired, it was nighttime and they could see no way possible to catch any fish but they trusted Jesus and tried the opposite of what they thought they knew and were blessed abundantly. This is the testimony that I want. Lord when I don't see it, when it goes against practicality, can I just do the opposite and launch outside my way of thinking and become abundantly blessed.

There is so much that we can learn from each other, but we need to always have the mindset and expectation that the one thing that we set out to learn may very well not be the thing that God is trying to teach us. Think of the rich young ruler who had obeyed all the commandments but when Jesus told him the one thing that he lacked, he couldn't see himself doing it and he went away sorrowful. Our one thing may not be riches, it may homeschooling, points of view on modesty,make up or jewelry. It could be not working outside the home, or living frugally. Whatever it is that we just outright disagree with due to a scriptural shade of gray, just ask yourself if you are emulating the rich young ruler? Is it that one thing that could possible keep you out of the kingdom of heaven? In my heart of hearts I believe that each and everyone of us has the main mission of making it to heaven and with that mission we should always remember that the road we have mapped out for our journey may involve a few twists and turns that we never saw coming but will lead us there quicker and safer.
All in all we should live every day of our salvation with the same mindset we had when we first came to the knowledge of Christ. The same eagerness to please him and the same child-like humility.

For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter. I Cor 7:11

Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!

He Is So Worthy To Be Praised!!!

2008-12-15T12:10:00.003-06:00

But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.1 Corinthians 15:57

I thank God for being the Wonderful, Almighty, On-Time God that he is. I thank him for never ever needing my help when it comes to taking care of my needs or fighting my battles. I thank him for knowing so much more than I can ever imagine to know. I thank Him for the undeserving benefits and blessings that he bestows on me daily. I thank God for his benefit of hope, faith and love. I thank him for my wonderful, sweet, attentive, loving husband. I thank him for my beautiful, smart, God fearing and loving children. I thank him for allowing me to love him, I could not love him if he didn't find my love worthy! I thank him for VICTORY over the devil and his powers of darkness! He is everything to me. I thank God for being a Child of the King!!!! Take time out today to give thanks to The Almighty, for he is surely worthy to be praised!

Psalm 68:19 Blessed be the Lord, who daily loadeth us with benefits, even the God of our salvation.
Psalm 103:2 Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:
Psalm 116:12 What shall I render unto the LORD for all his benefits toward me?
Psalm 140:13 Surely the righteous shall give thanks unto thy name: the upright shall dwell in thy presence.

One Sister's Reality vs Another Sister's Condemnation

2008-12-12T09:35:00.005-06:00

It is taking me longer than I thought to get back into the groove of daily blogging but as I read so many blogs I have so many blog ideas running around in my head. Today's topic is something that I have wrestled with all year. I apologize for the length but I couldn't break this up and I just ask that you bear with me on this. I am in no way making excuses for people but we all have made bad choices and God has shown mercy and love to us.

The reality is that we are all from different walks of life, different circumstances, different scriptural interpretations, convictions, and beliefs. And while I know the topic of real life vs blogland has been beaten to death, there is one aspect that I just don't see supported or defended enough and that is the reality for most women who are like me or those who I have closely related to through my walk in this life who are intrigued by us but really have no inside clue to the lifestyle that we blog about.

The reality is that some women have been abandon by men, broken down, abused, and trampled on and are looking to God to heal and better their lives but in the process they still have to depend on welfare, food stamps, state sponsored health care,WIC and other subsidies and it doesn't mean they are lazy and have no desire to get off the system, it is just taking longer in their lives than WE feel it should.
The reality is that some women struggle with showing their kids affection because they never had it and were raised on tough love and feel so guilty about it that they can't even fathom having more kids because the enemy has lied to them and told them they are not good mothers.
The reality is that there are more blended families now than traditional families this being in the Christian realm, so there are some women who have to work because the reality is there is more than one household that need to be supported.
The reality is that some stay at home mothers do so just because they heard it's right and not because God opened doors for them to come home.
The reality is there are some women who just don't see the secret burden their husband carries financially and spiritually because they moved outside of God's timing into a lifestyle in which they were not prepared for.
The reality is there are some couples who never were taught how to be debt free and financially responsible and are now paying the price which leads to both husband and wife having to work outside the home.
The reality is that some people live in places where there are NO jobs and they have to drive more than an hour to work.
The reality is that some people actually do believe in the public school system and it would be a detriment to their kids if they pulled them out and tried to tackle homeschooling.
The reality is that some women and or their husbands may have committed crimes which led to a record in their sins and they are just hoping that God will open a door for them to gain employment and until God opens that door they have to depend on the government to support their family.
The reality is that some women and men have been fooled by false preachers and have a negative view of anything Christian and it may take some time for them to accept what we believe.

I have for many years defended single parents, women who work outside the home, and those who are bound by socioeconomic barriers I have often bet rebuffed with " they shouldn't have gotten pregnant out of wed-lock, they just aren't trying hard enough, and other comments that have almost made me cry not for myself,but for the blindness of some who have never had to walk a mile in the shoes of the people they are showing "tough love" to.
Just because one volunteers for needy families, or spends a few hours with those less fortunate doesn't mean one actually knows that person's day to day struggles. And yes there are those who just don't care or seem to want to do better but they often overshadow that population of those who want to but just don't even have a clue where to begin.

My reality is that although I was raised in a struggling middle class Christian family and made the choice to choose the hard road, I was bless to have the Godly examples to guide me back to a better road. And while I have the benefits of Salvation, I am still being buffeted about for my own faults, I have God's grace to take it patiently but what about those who don't. What about those women who are looking on the Internet trying to find some type of enlightenment from women who are spiritual and this lifestyle is very inviting but oh so new to them???

What about that women at work who longs to come home but then reads a blog who's tone says (albeit intentional or unintentional) that in so many words that she is a horrible mother, God didn't intend for her to work and leave her kids in daycare and her kids can never get the correct amount of love and support from her as long as she is selfishly working. Never mind that her working is needful and oftentimes still doesn't produce enough to meet bare essentials.

Don't get me wrong, I am not at all stressing that we shouldn't tell the truth boldly at time, because what I just stated above is exactly holds true, but there is that one thing called tone and if it were not important then Scripture would not tell us to let our words be seasoned with grace.

Seasoning our words with grace allows us to step back and look at things from a readers perspective. Not all the times, some topics call for loving reproof. I think sometimes that we as writers forget that we didn't know or have it all and we have been shed some biblical light that has worked in our favor and we decide to share it with the world but sometimes unknowingly our sharing can be a tad bit condescending. We in our own right can't see it, refuse to soften our truth for the reader because we can't " change what we say to fit every one's feelings" Yet Jesus did. There were times when he reproved and reproved hard, but there were times when he reproved and taught with so much love that it still spills from the pages of the bible.

Scripture tells us in Proverbs 11:30 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise. And a wise person always knows how to reach that audience of souls that he/she is trying to win. Paul did it in the passage of Scripture listed below. He knew that in order for him to win souls, he had to think like, and relate to those that he was witnessing to. Are we not to be held to the same standard??

I say all this because I feel that God is leading me to change the format and nature of my blog. My reality is that I don't know it all and I am still learning. I can relate more to those who are struggling to learn how to just cope with the day to day of being on this earth. I relate more to those women who although their kids were born in the most sinful of circumstances it doesn't take away that they love them and want the best for them just like those who were blessed not to have to travel that road. At the end of the day we are still mostly wives and mothers searching for God given direction on how to change our lives for the better.

I write this in now way judging or accusing any of the blogs I read, because I learn so much from them. I just know how tough it was for me in the beginning to just go through the day clinging to God's hope and joy. Trust me homeschooling, birth control, qiver-full, menu planning, coupon clipping, wifely submission, Titus 2 learning, first time obedience child rearing, bread baking, bible courtships, politics, and other biblical womanhood topics seemed like an un-learnable foreign language and an unreachable lifestyle for me.

My desire is to help that demographic of sisters who have been told that they will never be anything, who have been abused, who feel hope is lost because they are trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents. Those who are out near the highways and the byways who would love to come into the marriage celebration but don't really get invited. I believe that if we honestly search our hearts and reflect back we will see that there is truly a group of women who feel left out.

1 Corinthians 9:18-23
18What is my reward then? Verily that, when I preach the gospel, I may make the gospel of Christ without charge, that I abuse not my power in the gospel.
19For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.
20 And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law;
21 To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law
to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without
law.
22 To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am
made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.
23And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I might be partaker thereof with you.

At the end of the day after all the hot blogging topics and fiery comments our blog ministry mission should be to win someone over or closer to Christ. If you don't feel your blog is a ministry to others then maybe you shouldn't blog about anything Christ related because on that faithful day we will all be judged for every idle word that we speak whether it be spoken or written we are accountable for the soul that reads our representation of salvation.
Have a wonderful weekend. Stay blessed and encouraged!

The Bondage of Materialism During This Economic Famine

2008-12-09T08:56:00.004-06:00

Last year I wrote this post during this season due to all the massive toy recalls and child related deaths. This year things are different. Child mortality related to toy recalls are not taking over news headlines, but the recent death of a Wal-Mart employee, the shooting at Toys-R-Us and this economic famine that we are facing prompted me to re-post with a little tweaking. Although there may be situational differences, the premise of seasonal greed and guilt is still the same base. Parents who are struggling overwhelmingly just to provide the bare necessities are still finding it difficult to accept that Christmas present may have to be very different from Christmas past. One thing does remain the same, even though we are in a great recession, materialism still has many in bondage.

As I sit and shudder of the thought of what type of bondage this time of year brings upon parents, and any other adult seeking to soothe the materialistic desire of a child by going into debt, not showing Christian stewardship to the less fortunate, greed, envy, covetousness and many other ungodly abominations, I wonder if God allows things like this to happen to shake our attention back to the reason for this season? Is he trying to let this country, (which was founded on spiritual principals and a need to worship God without reproof) know that he is not at all pleased with how we are creating generation after generation of materialistic children who covet everything they see?

Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we should not buy our children toys and presents and shower them with love, I am simply saying that everything that we do for our children should empower them spiritually, educationally and naturally and not the instant gratification of playing with the next hot thing or to be bound by what I call the "Gotta Have, or Must Have spirit. "

We have a God given responsibility to evoke and teach our children a sense of appreciation for gifts, a gratefulness of receiving something new, we should teach them to be good stewards of the blessings they receive and most importantly that any gift they receive is a blessing from God not an expectation!I think it is so sad when I see children put a guilt trip on their parents for not having the newest toy. It hurts me to see the young and innocent equate love with gifts before they are even old enough to hold a conversation. It saddens me even more when parents are bound by their children's covetousness , greed and desire for materialism... If I am burdened about it, how is God feeling about it?? He must be so sad, so frustrated, so furious.....

I had to cry out to God in this area too.... Last year I had to sit down and accept the brutally honest truth that I have allowed my children to become entangled in the expectation of materialism, and I have allowed a seed of ungratefulness and greed to be planted in their hearts because they covet every new toy that is introduced. At one while every conversation would include "Mommy I want, or Mommy can you buy me?" One of my children even knew my paydays and would say when you get paid on this day can we go to the store? I knew then that my weakness as a single mother was trying to make up for the absence of the father figure by buying gifts and always buying things they wanted.

I had to ask God and my children for forgiveness because this is not what mothering is all about, and was very unpleasing to God.I (we) have a responsibility to dig out this seed before its roots anchor and plant seeds of gratefulness, and appreciation, and self worth even when you don't have what everyone else has. I

If you are guilty of this, don't let the devil beat you over the head with condemnation, simply ask God to forgive you for this, and to give you wisdom on how to buy those things that are desired by your children. Make sure that every toy or game you buy can be nurturing, and serve as practical applications and learning.

With God's help, we can do this. We don't have to raise a generation of children who's favorite words are I want or can I have? We can raise children who are selfless, who want to be good stewards and who realizes that every thing given to us above that which we need is an extra blessing from God. We can watch the news about dangerous toys and feel good in our soul that we don't have to fear for our children in this area. I encourage you to sit down with your children and inform them of what is going on around during these economic slow downs. Show them the signs of "men pleasers", and of men being lovers of themselves and how this is not pleasing to God.
I am hoping to finish a Part 2 tomorrow on how we can get our children involved in learning how to recognize materialism and how they can overcome it with our help.

Houston I Have Internet, Co Parenting, and Other Musings

2008-12-05T16:52:00.006-06:00

I am so excited to announce that after a couple of years of not having Internet availability or access in my community, that I finally have home access. God worked out a sweet deal between us and my daughter's father who works for AT&T to come together and obtain a wireless card for my laptop. It is a beautiful thing when adults who are co-parenting can come together and simplify things not only for the children but for all who are involved in the lives of the children. I am thankful, first to God, next to my husband and then to the parents on both sides of the fence.

It takes patience, humility, divine instruction, and heaps of kindness to co parent and even more when both spouses have another parent to add to the equation. I have been blessed to have a wonderful relationship with my oldest daughter's father, and through the years he has always supported my parenting decisions and has sided with me even though he is not a Christian. He trusts and values my Christianity and knows that my daughter is better off with the decisions that I make, although he has a lot of good parenting advice for her too. I am also glad that my husband never had a desire to take his place as her father and always encourages her to keep and value her relationship with her biological father. Her dad lives in a different state so they have never formally met but they have formed a mutual respect for each others place in mine and my daughter's life.

With my youngest, its unfortunate but we have no relationship with her father. My decision to keep her resulted in the sacrifice of her never knowing or meeting her father. I would always tell her that I believe that in his own way he loves her, but we just have to pray for God to bless him to learn how to express it. Explaining paternal absence to a child has to be the most hurtful and devastating thing for a mother to have to do, but I also take some sort of comfort that he continues to support her financially and although he is selfish not to form a relationship with her, in his own little twisted way, he is showing some sort of love for her. I often tell people who know our situation that I can appreciate that he let one hurting do it, instead of being in and out, making and breaking promises or visits he just decided to walk completely out of her life and while it hurts, it doesn't hurt as bad as having constantly rip a band aid off an open wound.

One thing I always taught her was that anytime God takes something away from you, he gives you something better and blessing her with a "daddy" who loves her 100% was no different. I will forever be grateful that she was able to witness the promises of God through my courtship and marriage. She has a bond with my husband that is definitely a divine bond created and gifted by God. I can see that she feels loved and secure and no longer feels left out of the daddy's girls club.

On another note, early this year on my other blog SingleMomForGod, I posted a series of posts about my views about a certain pop star and her family who was going through some very trying times publicly and how we need to be careful to help our children and their idolization of pop culture and teen idols. You can read the posts here , here and here. Well, today I just so happen to be surfing the channels for a moment when I had some downtime and I came across the Britney Spears documentary she made while she was trying to get her life back on track, I must say I couldn't change the channel. My heart went out for her because she was so open, so human, so fragile as she was speaking about her melt down, her loss of custody, and just living her life in a public fishbowl.She is a fellow mother, and a single mother and my heart and prayers go out for her. Watching her just made me want to express even more how important it is that we teach our children the reality of the world. They need to know that what they see on TV with their favorite actor, or singer is really fantasy and a lifestyle not to be coveted and that famous people are still human, they make mistakes, they have good and bad days and they in essence don't have a life of real content and structure. I believe in telling our children and teens that they are blessed beyond measure just to have a normal life, to be able to by anonymous and live life simply is a desire for almost all of their favorite stars who on the outward glance seems to have the perfect life.

Our children will make mistakes, and will have falls, and humiliations that may seem major but for them to have the encouragement that they can do all of that and not have the whole world watching as it happens is a true blessing and makes it easier to overcome.

I wish everyone a wonderful weekend and I can't wait until I can start posting daily! Take care and God bless!

Where My Mind Is

2008-11-07T16:04:00.003-06:00

Well my friends, it has been a couple of weeks and I am still here. I have had so many thoughts racing through my head to blog about but I just haven't felt the urge to blog. As many of you know for some reason that makes no sense to me, my side of town doesn't have DSL capability, so there is no Internet access for me. I have to go to an Internet cafe which I just really haven't felt much like doing. For what ever reason it seems like such a waste of time, and gas to drive around town to sit up and browse the computer all day when there is so much I can do at home. This time with limited Internet access has been a very beneficial time for me. I have had emotional roller coasters in which some days I am up and some days I am down, and others I am just coasting.

All and all just having charge of my own time has been a wonderful thing to me. No filled to the brim tasks scheduled on Outlook, better yet no Outlook calender to fill and those pesky little reminders to minimize. No emails every two minutes and no frustration of an over sized mailbox that prohibits me from sending an important email that I have been trying to send all day. Oh there is no worry of infuriating exhibits of office email etiquette in which every person on your email CC:"s their boss and his boss, and no intimidated person hitting reply to all and trying to one up you as they condescendingly argue a point via email when they are either in the next cubicle or the office across from you. I guess I am just giving you a glimpse of my former day in the life of and I haven't even made it to lunch yet!! All in all I love being home, but there is a brainwashed part of me that misses the madness. It was a integral part of my life for so long that I sometimes get overwhelmed by the little solvable "dramatic" problems of my household. My mornings have been replaced from staff meetings, unscheduled office meetings, frantic calls to put out bush fires that exceed the forest fire magnitude and shamefully I thrived on that. I was always the "one to make things happen" " the go to girl" and the "fire putter outer".

I remember the times when I worked for the state DHS office, I spent many of my days answering program complaints funneled down from the Governor's office, rubbing elbows with state legislators to solve the complaints from their constituents, and attending legislative sessions to answer possible questions about the grants or contracts I over saw. I was over a multi-million dollar state funded contract/ grants program all related to the states Division of Child Care and Early Childhood Education. I made sure that federal funds we provided to child care providers, and state funded pre- K programs was put to good use. I traveled, sat in on trainings, and monitored budgets with an eagle eye. I felt important, I felt proud because although I escaped my destiny of being a teacher like my mom, I made sure that those who were teaching our precious young ones were equipped to do so.

That part of my life I loved, then I traded public service with all myflexibility and family-friendliness to tangle myself up in the human resource department of a state funded teaching hospital and medical school. I went from helping others to actually hurting others. Everyday I would come home guilt ridden at the air tight, rigid, inflexible policies that I felt drowned the working family. I would close my office and cry sometimes at those who had to be terminated because they violated the attendance policy. Too many calls from the school, a family with four children all having chicken pox a week apart, waking up to the pink eye passed between siblings, or the famous stomach virus that all children have a day apart. It broke my heart, and I literally felt if I had sold my soul. I would plead to my boss, we have to give them some flexibility, these are real problems and real people. All we have to do is invest our support and it will save us admin and training dollars but rules are rules and upper management bureaucracy prevails. Each day I despised my job and it showed, I did not have the strength to work through it and eventually my fire dwindled. My work lacked passion, and so did I. The end result... my current place which is at home. I no longer miss my kids and felt the guilt of the working mom syndrome and of not being available 100%.

I don't know why my mind is allowing my fingers to type this, maybe I need a reminder of my purpose. I still have a desire to help others and since my husband and I did not financially plan for me to come home, there is a possibility that I may have to return if God wills. My desire is to have my dh go back to grad school and get his MA in social work, and become licensed and I may have to work for a little while to help him achieve that dream that will better our future, we just don't know yet. He loves working with kids with behavioral issues and in the geriatric mental health field. He has patience with individuals with disabilities and with the elderly that I know is a gift from God. He is a quiet and kind spirit that makes the light appear in the eyes of a child that has been told they just can't act right, and a smile light up in older women as he holds the door for them, or gets something off the top shelf at the grocery store out of no where. He doesn't believe in meds to make kids sit still, just plain old love and hands on one on one time. So my prayer is that he gets the license that he needs to make the money he deserves so that I can come home with no stress on him.

It is a humbling experience to see the man you love praying in the wee hours of the morning for a fishes and loaves miracle so that his wife doesn't have to work. It's a wonderful thing to know that that man's first desire is to pray and not pace the floor worrying, or not make his wife feel guilty for the burden that she knows is on his back. It's a beautiful thing for that man to lead his family in encouragement and devotion to the Lord for the his goodness and provision. It's a proud feeling when you know you are doing all you can to make things easier on him, cutting every corner, using every resource, and learning from others who have traveled the road you are now traveling.

This is where my mind is today, some moments it's all over the place, in the past, in the present, and sometimes looking at the future but in the end it always ends up on the things of God, the man I love, his child I am carrying, and the children that make it all worth it.

Stay blessed and encouraged until next time.

Ps: Baby and mom are fine, we are in our second trimester and I have gained over 10lbs in one month ( don't laugh this is monumental for me) and the nausea has subsided some and has been replaced with heartburn. I am anxiously awaiting Thanksgiving though, when I will eat myself miserable. Ahhh the holidays.

Okay My Last Political Post- I hope

2008-10-22T15:02:00.002-05:00

Okay, I said I would leave politics alone, because it is not something I like to talk about ( I don't even open that box of political debate anymore because I want to keep that argumentative spirit that is dead within me just where it is which is dead!)But I was a little irate to read this in the news yesterday and today.

AP INVESTIGATION: Alaska funded Palin kids' travel
Bad bad news for the McCain Camp. Sarah Palin under investigation.Gov. Sarah Palin charged the state for her children to travel with her, including to events where they were not invited, and later amended expense reports to specify that they were on official business.The charges included costs for hotel and commercial flights for three daughters to join Palin to watch their father in a snowmobile race, and a trip to New York, where the governor attended a five-hour conference and stayed with 17-year-old Bristol for five days and four nights in a luxury hotel.In all, Palin has charged the state $21,012 for her three daughters' 64 one-way and 12 round-trip commercial flights since she took office in December 2006. In some other cases, she has charged the state for hotel rooms for the girls. Complete story here
RNC shells out $150K for Palin fashion
The Republican National Committee has spent more than $150,000 to clothe and accessorize vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin and her family since her surprise pick by John McCain in late August. Complete story here

And for someone who is talking about being able to register with "Joe Six Pack, and Hockey Mom's and all those other small town middle class Americans this just isn't cutting the mustard for me. This would have been the perfect timing to be a Recessionista, purchasing a few outfits to mix and match, not having a spending spree on a wardrobe that you won't be pictured in twice! There is nothing middle class about this and frankly with the economy being the way it is it makes me wonder if this type of outrageous spending will follow them to the White House and if I will have to pay for trips and clothing that I could never afford. I don't know what the other party is doing, but I feel that if this type of spending is going on with them, then it will come to light and you will see another post like this from me!

Weekly Update and Election Thoughts

2008-10-19T17:57:00.007-05:00

I just wanted to check in this week and let everyone know how I am doing. Baby and I are doing fine and progressing each week. I had an opportunity to get out and about last week, even chaperoning a 4th grade field trip. I was truly thankful for the opportunity.

This week I plan on accomplishing more household chores and cooking more creative meals. I have missed cooking full course meals but I have fallen in love with one dish meals during this season.

On a different note I had thoughts that I wanted to share about this upcoming election. I have read many a Christian blog that have really had some powerful opinions about my party and our candidate; however my thoughts are not in defense of him totally as I have had a chance to do some real soul searching about my political view points. While I am currently a registered Democrat I do disagree with those liberal stances that clearly violate my spiritual stand. So on to my thoughts and they are not what you think. Like I said earlier I have done my soul searching and in the end decided to make a political change.

Many oppose Sen. Obama for his stand on abortion and rights for homosexuals among other social stands of his and while I agree with the opposition, I also wonder how is it that some Christians can passionately oppose him and embrace Sen. McCain and his support of the war. According to the bible sin is sin and no sin is greater or least in God's eyes and with that being said we have to be careful in judging one and not the other.

How much more value is the life of an unborn child than that of a unsuspecting family in an air-raided village, or the sacrifice of life on both ends by the enlisted soldier. Murder is murder whether you abort a child or create a casualty of war. I feel strongly about this because before I got saved I served my country both in active duty and as a reservist and even then it was hard for me to leave my babies after being placed on active duty during the start of this war especially when its basis has been founded on lies and unreliable information.

I served stateside for over a year shortly after 9/11 and I was able to get an honorable discharge before my unit was sent overseas. I had to make a difficult decision that my babies came first, and no amount of patriotism was going to replace the needed mothering that only I could give. They ( my old unit) are currently on their second tour of active duty and I have not regretted one day my choice to come home. Many of the people I served have lost their marriages and families and the children suffered the most. Unfortunately Uncle Sam has yet to repair the damage. I love my country, but I love my God more and if my freedom to openly worship him was taken away, his word is hidden in my heart and I would still worship him as Daniel. So the argument of wars being fought for my freedom to serve God is null and void for me. My freedom came when I repented of my sins and accepted him as my Lord and Saviour.

There is no way that I could see myself being a Christian and also serving as a soldier of war. I could not see myself feeling justified with taking another life under the name of patriotism. I guess that was an area that I lacked the patriotism needed to feel confident with making that tough choice. My brother made those tough choices in the front lines of battle during this war and I see first hand the sacrifice of peace of mind that he battles with. I am in no way speaking against those in uniform because there is a bond between service members that is fraternal but my bond with Christ is eternal.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it was very hard for me to denounce one candidate without denouncing the other, or vice versa. Since we only have two choices for which to vote, a choice not to vote for one specifically may be a silent support for the other one. I just wonder if we realize that by specifically singling out the fallacies of one without mentioning those same fallacies of the other sends the wrong message.

I will say this, I have found it despicable that in this day and age when a man of color who has an very profoundly ethnic name runs for president he has to be labeled as a terrorist or even worse in my eyes an "Arab or Muslim" as if that makes a person unworthy. I say this too because I also have an ethnic name and have faced many years of name'ism.

And not to be judgemental but I have a hard time with a certain woman vice presidential candidate speaking so condescendingly of another minority as if she can cast the first stone. I could go on and on but I will leave with this. I find it appalling that so many can compliment her on style, and attack of Sen. Obama, and the fact that she didn't abort her disabled child, when it is clear that her political ambitions were first and raising her family was second or third. I am not judging her mothering skills, but as I stated in my post here, I am sick of seeing teen and out of wed-lock pregnancy be swept under the rug and seemingly glorified as okay and not the fault of the parent. If she had taken a much more humble approach with less sanctimony, I would feel differently about her actions. She in my eyes she is in no position to aggressively and openly attack another person's character. Actually none of us are but it bothers me that many Christians endorse her. I am just being honest.

Although I may not be able to support Sen. Obama and his policies, he is a person that should be recognized as distinguishable. He is a man that has been committed to his marriage, there have been no skeletons of inappropriate relationships, he openly admires his wife, they have both committed to raising their children and I feel have stronger ties in the area of family values. This is something that we don't get an opportunity to see very much in politics and I feel that it is something to be admired, the same can be said about Joe Biden who has spent many years in politics and raised very grounded and successful sons. I feel that this is an area that doesn't get much praise or attention. The same could be said for my former Governor ( Mike Huckabee) who was my top choice as the best candidate for this race.

I may just be rambling but I wanted to finally share my political thoughts and it has nothing to do with education, health care, social programs, economics or any of that political finger pointing, what it boils down to is the sin that both candidates endorse and that is murder which will and can get me in trouble with God, so with that being said, I am no longer affiliating myself with any political party but have decided to be an Independent and to in the future focus on those things that will keep me with a conscience void of offence to God and to man.
Thanks for reading, be blessed and stay encouraged.

Slowly But Surely Back To Myself & Pregnancy Update

2008-10-12T15:21:00.004-05:00

Slowly but surely I am beginning to feel like my old self physically which I am so thankful for. Last week I had a very encouraging week and was able to eat and keep food down which I am attributing to God's wondrous grace and the beginning of my second trimester.

I am almost 14 weeks and this little one is growing!!! My hubs and I are excited to be sharing this experience together and it is a barrel of fun sharing it with the girls. We found out that it is only one after wondering at one point if it may be two. I have one of those week by week pregnancy planners that shows the baby's development each week, and before a week goes by they have already read up on the upcoming week's development. They also have been such a great help to me, it is a pleasure to see them growing up and preparing to take on the responsibilities of being big sisters.

I want to thank my pal Terry who has been faithfully calling me to check on me and for her posts here and here on the transition from full time work outside the home to full time homemaking. I mentioned to her a couple of weeks ago that outside the usual daily cleaning, I am just clueless and overwhelmed on exactly how to grasp the productiveness of being home all day.

As she mentioned I have been so used to taking care of myself and the girls by myself, and running for years at this breakneck speed that once my lifestyle came to an abrupt halt I had no idea how to function in the slow lane. One thing that I really never elaborated on is that my coming home from work was not something that we planned for, it was a sudden decision I had to make based on circumstances at my job. We had not planned financially, or physically sat down and organized a plan for me to come home. This coupled with our learning how to live together being newlyweds with a blended family, and finding out we were expecting so soon into our marriage has been a whirlwind experience that has kept us humbly before God helped us grow stronger as a new couple. Although we may have our struggles I am the happiest I have been in my entire adult life. I thank God for all that he blesses us with, and living in lean times certainly helps in being more trusting in God and thankful for each blessing that comes our way.

In this time of economic uncertainty and difficulty it is good to know that above all I have the blessings of a heavenly father that owns everything and is always willing to share it with his children. I hope to post more next week but for now remember to pray for our family and to stay blessed and encouraged!

Have I Totally Lost It?!?!

2008-09-15T16:35:00.006-05:00

Today I must share the thoughts that are going on in my mind, as scary as they are I have to actually write them out to make sure that they are real. Hopefully I won't loose readers after this but if I do then God help.

As I have mentioned and some of you know this is a very hard pregnancy for me. In my entire life, I cannot remember ( and I have tried) a time where I was this sick. I feel as though my body is in the middle of a mutiny which is headed by the child I am carrying. Now I am not complaining (I hope), but I am admitting that this is very difficult for me.

I am used to being on the go, always busy, and a somewhat productive member of society, and the glue of my home. Even before I was married all things started and revolved around me as mother andafter I got married it was me in my role of wife and mother. Now I feel as I have recently been reduced to a couch/bed potato who really can't do much for herself and we won't even mention the lack of production for my family. To simply put it, I am just not used to being or feeling useless. So yesterday in between my fits of nausea and excessive vomiting, I looked at my husband and said " Babe, I don't know if I can go through this again" and I was serious. Crying serious and that has bothered me all day and all night.

Is this a phase? Am I being selfish? Has my mind joined my body and jumped mutiny on me? Maybe it's because I am so hungry and I just long to sit and eat a meal from start to finish. I pray so, and not only that, I am praying for God to increase my joy, long suffering, and strength in him and HIS will for me and my future family.

So often I read blog posts where women are blasted, judged, and unmercifully crucified because of how they feel about children and family planning. While I believe the Scripture and what is says about the blessing of children, I don't see where God placed a number for the Christian society as a whole to use to measure a woman's acceptability in biblical womanhood or acceptable motherhood. God says "Be fruitful and multiply" but in the end, isn't he the one that creates the life and multiplication? Now I am a firm believer in that it is not our place to help him determine how many fruit equates fruitfulness, but is a woman wrong for seeking God on what his will is in her family equation without using birth control ?

Maybe its the hormones, maybe I am just wrong. I love children, I love the idea of creating children with my husband and I love being a mother and I want to have as many children as God wants me to have; but it still doesn't change the fact that they way I feel physically, and the inability to be a productive wife and mother at this moment makes me feel the way I do today. At this point in time, I simply don't feel as if I can have a large family. But then again it's the way I feel, God may say different. I am sure that if he does I won't feel this way, and I will simply have the grace and strength to go through the physical changes and discomforts.

Part of being a woman of God is being honest, being honest with yourself and God because God truly knows how I feel. Another part is being accepting of Gods will and through that honesty seeking his help and his will. One thing I promised myself when I started blogging is to always be honest. Mainstream Christian Womanhood Bloggers may not always agree with my thoughts but I refuse to portray this cookie cutter-ness just to be accepted in the blog community. My thoughts, feelings and actions may not always be ideal, but they are me and I am a work in progress. We will see what tomorrow holds as for now continue to Stay Blessed and Stay Encouraged- this includes me:)

A Good Excuse For My Absence

2008-09-08T11:51:00.006-05:00

Okay, I have been absent from class a lot lately, whole lot as a matter of fact! I promise I have a good excuse though, as you can see from the above ticker the Thomas' have been quite busy with a little project...... We are expecting, pregnant, with child, and any other way of coming to be that I didn't add.

As most of the jokes have been, no it seems that we wasted no time, and while we didn't get a honeymoon baby we got a just came back home from our honeymoon baby. The funny thing is that while we didn't plan it exactly, we didn't exactly not try and honestly I struggled with that. I figured that since it had been about 7 or more years since I had a child, and I was 7 or more years older that I wouldn't get pregnant so soon- well you can see that medical estimations are not my strong suit. To top it off I feel as though I have been pregnant forever, because I took one of those early response tests and I found out early last month while at my brother's wedding so we have known for a while now. Actually I found out the day before I made the hard decision to leave my job and for me that was a huge leap of faith. I proved my God and thus far he has been faithful to me.

We are over the moon though, the kids are super excited, and we are excited with the decision to talk openly about it so early. One of the things I refused to accept was the fear of miscarriage. That overwhelming desire to be protective of our blessing for fear we would have to come back and explain if the baby didn't make it, is the tool I used to increase my faith in God. We talked to our families, our church family, and the girls about it as soon as we found out, and we figured that it would be so much easier to have a lot of prayers and support that to worry about a few possible condolences. Of course you know I received some opposition for speaking out so early but all in all having the miracle of creating a life expectantly with my husband as ordained by God is something that I could never silence.

I remember thinking, are we out of our mind, we just got married, we haven't lived by this planned time table, how are we going to do this, but God reminded me that he took care of me when it was just me and why would he now take care of me now that I have done everything according to his will outlined by his word!

I will say upfront that we are praying earnestly for and claiming our son, but we will be delighted with whatever bundle of joy God blesses us with. I am just a firm believer and letting my God know exactly what I desire, because I know that as long as I obey him, he will grant me the desires of my heart according to his will. My husband is the only child of his father who is deceased and there is a huge desire for that legacy to go on so we are trusting in God in this area.

Physically I have been just whipped. This by far has been the most difficult pregnancy. I am sick 24-7 and I can't keep anything down. I mean nothing! I had morning sickness a little with the girls, but it was over by mid-morning and the end of the first trimester, but this little one is different. I am constantly sick and nauseous. I have tried everything and right now nothing is staying down. The one thing that is constant is that I have this excessive salivation which prompts the vomiting and I constantly walk around with my notorious "spit towel" which makes me feel so unattractive and it was a dead give away with my mom and all those close to me. Everyone kept telling Mark, if you see her spitting in a towel, she's pregnant!!! Any advice for relief on this one will be so greatly appreciated!

Well I guess I will end here, I have these small spurts of energy and my spurt has spurted out! Thanks to you all who have emailed me wondering why I have fallen off the planet- as I said earlier I had a good excuse. I do hope to post more because I miss it so but in the meanwhile- Stay Blessed and Encouraged!

Guarding Our Focus

2008-08-26T06:00:00.000-05:00

**previously posted 1/14/08 on my SMFG blog.**

Isaiah 26:3Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

How does one stay focused when you don't really know what to focus on? Have you ever been in a situation that is so new and so uncharted that you don't even know how to even talk to God about it? Not to sound pitiful, but I am in such a bit of a pickle. I know that I need to remain focused on God and his will right now. However, I feel just as anxious and unfocused as my six year old does when her attention span shuts down! :)

Whoever said that remaining in God's will (while trying to remain focused on what He wants and not what you want) is easy needs to come and see me like right now! Because I am realizing today, more than ever that when you are used to being in control and you release your control you have to completely walk away from it. I almost feel like I did when I left my newborn off with my parents for the first time. Now I knew she was in good hands but I felt the need to keep calling and coming by to check on her, and who better to take care of her than the ones who took care of me??

It is exactly the same situation when we take our problems, concerns, desires, and burdens to God. We have to drop them off at the cross and keep walking, never looking back until we are told or called to come back to pick up our blessing or answer. Meanwhile, we must focus ourselves on things other than what we left in his hands.

This my friends is the test.So today I have resolved that I am going to keep my mind off my newborn- because that is how I feel about what I have given to God. I will walk away, I will find something to do for Him, I will take care of myself, I will not idolize it, I will throw my focus on my family. I will not keep thinking about it, I won't ask God how it is, or when is a good time for me to pick it up? I will guard my focus because in the end I know that It shall be and it is well ( II Kings 4:22-26) . Below is one of my favorite passages of Scripture:

Matthew 6:32-3432(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.34Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Lying Low & Soul Searching

2008-08-25T11:27:00.008-05:00

Psalms 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.

Well friends, as you can see I have been lying low for the past couple of weeks. Part of it has been for reasons within my control, the other for reasons beyond my control. I still can't receive Internet access in my neck of the woods, and unbeknownst to me blogger access is restricted at our local library. At first I was a little anxious, but then I got to thinking about all the desires that I had for my home and my spare time once I settled into my stay at home role and decided that it was probably best that I just spend time focusing on those things and less on blogging.

The past few weeks have been a very humbling experience for me. One I have been ill and was forced to rest and totally depend on my husband and children, the other being that I had time to sit down and be quiet with my thoughts. The latter proved to be a test of the wills. I found that during all of my years "on the go", I really never had taken the opportunity to sit down un-interrupted with all of my thoughts. All of my hopes, fears, insecurities, dreams and ambitions. Once I did this, I realized that many of them were just as I mentioned, my thoughts and not God's reality for me.

I've had all of these ideals about my life, my career, raising my children, and even being married and what I found is that even though I thought I had acknowledged God in these areas, I honestly did not. What I did was, I informed him of the things I wanted to do, I searched my heart and the Word to see if my ideals lined up with the Scriptures and when I didn't hear the ever so clear NO then I just went along making plans for my life, and my family's life.

The truth is that I never heard NO from God because I really and truly didn't ask him. I kinda sorta asked, you know how your kids do when they tell you they are getting ready to do something in hopes that you won't disagree or question. Well that is what I found I was guilty of.

Now the work lies in reprogramming my mind. Actually having the time to sit still and talk to God, listen to him and for him, and to trust in him is the starting point. I realized that the unhappiness in my job was simply because it wasn't from God. The repair in the relationship with my kids exist because I put all other things first even when I didn't realize it. Sometimes we make mistakes, honest mistakes, most are very unintentional, but the thing about mistakes is they will show up sooner or later and they have to be corrected or they will fester and cause more problems than the actual fixing.

I have even had to go in and reprogram my thinking about my marriage, my role as my husband's wife, and our role in God's design for us. I had to really seriously dig deep and ask God to help me have the right goals for my marriage because I have no clue what marriage entails. I know its a positive thing in my life, but now I am not working, now there is a larger burden on my husband what do I do as a wife to be a blessing to him and unto you.

I have a whole new respect for David when he asked God to search him because once you ask with a humble heart there is no turning back. God is faithful, he will show you things you want to see, and things about you that you necessarily don't want to accept. The good thing is that as long as he is showing you, he is talking to you, it means he still loves you, and he wants you to have everything in those thoughts that he has for you ( Jer 29:11-14).

I hope to post more, I have found a quaint little cafe not far from my home that has free wi-fi, so I plan to be back Lord willing. As for now, I just wanted to check in, drop a line, and let you all know that all is well. Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!

Where Do I Begin??

2008-08-11T09:25:00.004-05:00

Well friends, today is my first official day as a stay at home wife and mom. Truth be told, I don't even know where to begin. Today I just decided to take the day off. I am at my parents something I haven't done since Christmas, and today I am going to hang out with my dad and the girls. We are going to do some school shopping with pa-pa, and later on I am going to take him to the doctor, again something I have never had the chance to do. Tommorrow I can tackle the house chores, and menus, and other ripping and running, but for today I will just enjoy life at a slow pace, again something I haven't done in a while!!

My pastor preached last night about remaining in the firey tests so that God can perfect us. It is a good thing not to be removed so quickly from some of our hottest battles. Being unemployed naturally can only help me perfect my home, train up my children, and nurture my husband and while it can be a test not to worry about the second income, and how things will be paid, I can certianly welcome the thought of this chance to increase my faith and expunge myself of all hidden doubts and fears. I don't know if God will lead me to return back to the workforce, or if he will bless my husband with an increase careerwise, I do know that Romans 8:28 has become my hiding place in the word. Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers and I am off to spend some well deserved time with two little girls who I haven't seen for most of the summer!!! Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!

Peacefully At Home

2008-08-08T16:28:00.002-05:00

Today was my last day at my job, and surprisingly I was full of peace. I was able to walk away knowing that Romans 8:28 will be fulfilled. I am looking forward to this new journey in my life and my family's lives. Thanks for all the encouragement and keep us in your prayers.
Stay blessed and encouraged- mrs thomas.

Joyfully Trusting in Him & My Husband

2008-08-07T17:45:00.004-05:00

Psalms 5:11 But let all those rejoice who put their trust in You; Let them ever shout for joy, because You defend them; let those also who love Your name be joyful in You.

Yeah!!! I finally get a chance to blog again, I have missed it so much. There have been many changes in my life over the past week and my faith in God has been greatly tested. I thank him for loving me enough to test me and to show me where I need more strength and perfection both naturally and definitely spiritually.

I posted quite a bit in the past about some of the trials and tests that I was experiencing on my job and how sometimes I wish I could be a stay at home wife and mother. Well I guess the Lord was listening to me and has granted what I asked. Tomorrow will be my last day at my job. It wasn't something that was planned and it was very unexpected but a decision that I really have no regrets about.

I do have 1000 thoughts running through my mind about how my life will be and the uncertainty of not working, and I do plan to enter back into the workforce Lord willing, but for now I believe that God is putting me in a position to where I can put all of my trust in him. The enemy often bombards my mind that the circumstantial decision that we made will cause problems in my marriage, but I can see now how being in an unhappy job in where I would come home spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally drained started to pose a small threat. Satan was trying to slowly build a wedge of "busy-ness" and " not enough time in the day" between the both of us. I can now thank God in advance the midst of this predicted thunderstorm for taking care of us and giving us the wisdom on how to live abased and abound.

I know that he is going to bless my husband to provide for us until the situation changes, and I know that he is going to bless me to become a wiser wife and mother which is so much more important to me than being a superstar in the workforce. I would love to see what it feels like to be able to put the same time, effort, energy, and talent into being the wife, saint, and mother that God has called me to be. Keep us in your prayers that we may remain joyfully trusting in him, and that I can go through this learning process of letting go of the reigns and becoming dependent on my husband as he learns from God how to take care of me. I look forward to more blog time now :)

Stay blessed and encouraged! mrs thomas.

2008-08-03T19:39:00.001-05:00

Just when I thought God had forgotten about me in the heat of a battle, he reached down from heaven & kissed me on the cheek.
Thank You Lord.

Another Joyus Occasion

2008-08-02T09:14:00.038-05:00

Today, six weeks after my wedding we are in Shreveport to attend my brother's wedding. We both were engaged in January and in the spirit of good old fashioned sibling competition coupled with the fact that I am the eldest, I called first dibs on the earliest wedding date. In true "lil bro" fashion he chose to follow in my footsteps six weeks later.

Although our stories are polar opposites with mine being courtship, and his being the tradional dating leading to engagement story, I am still proud of the choice he made. My new sister ( I don't really like the "in-law" title) fit in the family from day one. She keeps him very grounded, loves my family, is a true southern woman and is a wonderful match for him. She was also one of my bridesmaids.

It was a wonderful journey to share wedding planning stories, share deals on supplies, pass down decor, and all that other wedding planning "stuff". She is not only my new sister, but a trusted friend. I am thankful that they are both able to share the love that God gives two individuals that he has designed to form together as one flesh.

I pray that they will contiue to love each day more than the day before, and seek God in their marriage as well as loving each other the way Christ loves the church.

Now my parents can let out a sigh of relief. Two down, two more to go!!!

Congratulations Will & Sherwanda! We love you!

Seeking First The Kingdom of God

2008-07-22T16:30:00.004-05:00

I must say that I have truly missed you all. The internet solution at my home isn’t solved yet, but I found a place that has free Wi-fi so I will just have to start blogging from there at lunch.

While I have really missed blogging lately, I will say that I have been able to just meditate more about the things in my life. Normally when I go through something albeit good or bad, I can’t wait to blog about it. These past couple of weeks I have had to just rely on God and talk to him all day which has been good. Sometimes we get so used to seeking the advice and thoughts of others that it becomes easy to unconsciously and unintentionally not go to Him first. I thank him for the time that I have been able to stay before him, and the time I have had in just basking in my husband’s opinion of things. I have encouraged him to start blogging because he has so much insight and such a genuine way of looking at the issues that I thought were uninteresting or boring to him.

Speaking of my husband, we are settling in and having a wonderful time. The girls are getting used to him being in the house and are very responsive to his routines. They often tease him about his notorious late night pantry/fridge raids and at one point were trying to stay awake to catch him “sneaking in to the cabinet.” I love being married and I love that my home is peaceful. My children are happier and things are less stressful because God has given him wisdom on how to step in and lead our home. I almost cried the other night when Nee-Nee Pooh beat him at checkers. ( well he let her so that he could teach her how to play aggressively) or when last night Chocolate Drop was helping him grill hot dogs and steaks. My children can now have the type of security that I had growing up in a two-parent household. I will forever be grateful to God for this gift.

Menu planning is going good. We are in the planning phase, we are looking to see what we have at home and what we can make with what we have, then on to making our menu, followed by taking a stroll through the grocery store to price everything, and then back home to sit down and formulate a budget. This helps so when pay day comes we know how close we are to our budget and if we need to re-adjust. I know some may say choose a price and stick with it, but for us that didn’t work. I personally don’t have the time to go from store to store to get the best deals. I have to choose Wal- Mart, Sam’s or Kroger depending on if I need to purchase anything for the house.

Another thing that is helping us is that Mark has put himself (and me) on a diet. Also instead of having me get up each morning to make his lunch he just took a loaf of bread, a package of sandwich meat, popcorn, beef jerky, bottled water and trail-mix that he keeps in his office. It helps tremendously because he has already taken his lunch from the house and if anything gets “devoured” in between grocery trips, well he (and the girls) just has to tough it out!!
The Lord is truly blessing us as a family. As prices keep rising, we have yet to go with out. Even if it seems as if we are living on spare change in between pay checks, we still have yet to live without the basic necessities. Our children have yet to miss a meal, or be without clothing. We have yet to run out of gas, and we are yet to be stressed out. One of my favorite passages of Scripture is

Matthew 6: 25-34.

31.Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What
shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? 32.(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. 33. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Continue to pray for us that we endeavor to seek the kingdom of God first, and I encourage you to do the same. Hopefully I will be back soon. Oh yeah, congrats to Anna at Domestic Felicity I am so happy for you and the news of your impending family addition. Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!
-mrs. thomas

2008-07-15T15:23:00.001-05:00

Man I really miss blogging! In conjunction with my new organzation cause, I am planning my first weekly menu!! I'm gettin there:)
Mali Thomas :)

2008-07-15T10:51:00.000-05:00

Happy 1 Month Anniversary
I have been married for one month today! It is a wonderful blessing. I love the completeness of my family. 7/14/08

2008-07-08T08:27:00.001-05:00

Testing, Testing
Well I just found out that I can mobile blog from my PDA. I'm testing now to see how it works.

Unplanned Hiatus

2008-07-08T08:15:00.003-05:00

Once again I have been MIA from blogland and unfortunately I am going to have to take a hopefully small blogging hiatus. Most of you know that I normally blog at work during my lunch hour but now due to more stringent regulations and policies I won't be able to do so any more. Also I live in an area that can't receive internet access, but I am looking at alternatives through my cellular provider. This may be a little more expensive, but it will provide a safer and more reasonable alternative than my current. While a lot of people here are angry and upset about the changes the Holy Spirit comforted me with the fact that as a Christian, I have a duty to uphold the laws of the land, and I have to obey those who have rule over me. With that being said I hope to be back soon, like within a week or so soon. Until then, have a blessed day and if you like you can email me the posts from your blog so that I can at least read them from my mobile pda.

Endeavouring

2008-07-02T10:27:00.005-05:00

Ephesians 4:3 Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

This week so far, I have been home alone. Mark is off at a conference and the girls won't be home until tonight. At first I thought it would be hard to be alone, especially since my hubby and I have been joined at the hip since the wedding. The scary thing is, I started to see that I enjoyed the time alone. Not only did I enjoy it, I plain old just didn't want to be bothered. At a crossroad I decided to pray and ask God to help me with this feeling because I could see the enemy working very subtly.

One of the fears that I had before getting married is that I would have to battle my independent spirit. Part of that was me having the choice to interact with people or not. If I start accepting the thoughts of just always wanting alone time, then where would my husband fit in? How would that make him feel wanted, desired, or considered? While I was at home enjoying my alone time. He was hours away not wanting alone time, desiring to be in the company of his wife and family.

Imagine how he would have felt if I had brushed him off, albeit unintentionally or not. This is when I realized that I have to endeavour to lay myself aside and seek the right frame of mind for my marriage. I am starting to see that all the more. It's easy to feel as if you are loosing yourself once you become one; but isn't that the point? We are supposed to subtract ourselves from the equation and become one.

I admit, yesterday I was feeling selfish. I came home craving strawberry shortcake, I open the fridge and no strawberries. Why? Well my husband snacks constantly through out the night and early morning and well, he ate them all. Of course the enemy wanted to use my distance from him to fuel a fuming attitude that resulted in my desire to just be left alone. What did I do, I simply got up, went to Kroger and restocked. Not just with what I like, but with what he likes as well and even more. Even though I did this, I had to endeavour through the petty anger and thank God for the blessing of having my husband in my life ( even if he does have an out of the world appetite).

As I grow in this transition, I realize that I have to work on me. I have an instinctive response to when I am bothered about something, I become reclusive and quiet. I really don't want to be bothered which isn't healthy and it isn't Scripture. It is the opposite of endeavoring.

Endeavoring means I make myself talk and express myself in a loving and kind manner. It means saying I love you when I selfishly want to say nothing. It means saying I appreciate you, even if you have done something that pushes my button. Endeavoring means doing the exact opposite of what the enemy is trying to push you into doing. I once read this quote: " The only place success comes before work, is in the dictionary" Point well taken. If I want a successful marriage, then I must work, and endeavor for it.

BTW- Crystal over at BiblicalWomanhood is running a series entitled " Lovin that Man of Mine", I just so happened to drop in and found it very charming. We all know that validation and affirmation are key to a man's emotional needs and desires, but if we are not very careful validating and encouraging can fall in the trap of easier said than done.

Married To My Opposite: The Organized Plan Man

2008-07-01T08:48:00.003-05:00

One would think that since I was a single mom for the majority of my adult life that I would have an organized routine down to the second. Sadly, I don't. However my hubby is a man of plans. Everything has to "have a plan". I think that's his signature phrase, "we need to sit down and come up with a plan" I often tease him that he has to have a plan, to plan for a plan, but I can't knock him for wanting to do things as the bible states: decently and in order.
So I guess the Lord knows that I need someone in my life to help keep me focused and committed to a working plan.

Scripture also plainly states that we need to sit down and count the cost before doing anything. I will be the first to admit that I have not practiced this diligently in my home life as I should. I am nowhere near, close to or even in the same ball park as the Proverbs 31 woman. I believe that spending so many years of being on the go, and living in such a hurried state left me conditioned into thinking that I just can't live on a calender, or planner or any of those other homemaking organizers that many homemakers swear and live by.

So, since I see the error or my ways, and I married a man with a plan, I have to condition myself to consistently follow a more structured routine. With that being said, I plan on taking this long weekend to sit with him and our girls to develop a family planner/schedule, and with his prayer and guidance condition myself to convert to routine-ness.

I have often heard it said that it takes 21days to form a new habit. I am going to Guinea pig myself to see if its actually true. I believe that God can do it for me in less than 21 days, but it is going to mean that I am going to have to diligently die out to my will on doing things my way. This should make for interesting updates on this blog. So pray for me that I keep an open mind and will to change my destructive non-organized lifestyle, and adapt a more structured, decent and in order lifestyle that my husband needs to live in.

Ps: If anyone has any advice to solicit, or any templates of planners please email me. My email link is off to the side, or you can leave it in the comments.