A Marriage After His Heart

My journey and life unscripted as I transition from the role of a single mom living for God to a newlywed trying my best at blending and expanding my family, all while pursing a marriage after God and my husband's heart. Join us on this journey!

Friday, January 16, 2009

My Thoughts On The Gift Of Marriage

erin n dad working on her book report and reading list

Yesterday, I walked out of the bedroom into the kitchen on this heart stealing scene. Since we have become a family, Mark has replaced me as the homework guru. Not because I have been sick with the baby, or tired, or busier, but because I was fired from homework detail. Yep, my girls the first week of school got together, had a meeting, and officially stated that since I had spent so many years doing homework, they wanted to give me a break and let "daddy do it."
At first, I thought it's a cute gesture, it won't last, but it's cute. Needless to say, we are now in the second semester and I only get called in as a sympathy measure because I wander aimlessly around trying to fit in the circle. Part of me was overly grateful, because with all the preggo issues, I really needed a break and wasn't always feeling 100% enough to try and figure out all the new method's of fourth grade math and science. Or I wasn't feeling animated enough to read in character ( something I have never been really good at) for my first grader's weekly reading homework. The other part of me was a little envious because once I got up and running I noticed that, they never came back to ask me into the homework club. I was officially sidelined and a little bit of my pride felt pinched. As I took time to really sit back and observe ( without correcting) I realized the awful truth: He is so much better and patient at this than I am.Scripture tells us to give honor to whom honor is due, so I feel the need to do so today.
Also, after reading my dear friend Terry's blog over the past few days, and this post, and the comments thereafter, I felt the need to put my true feelings to paper. While I am still a newly-wed, I have seen dozens of double digit decade marriages nd I have lived through some of the most awful relationships, and seen some pretty horrific examples of a marriage so I gleaned from those experiences to form this thought. In my mind, marriage is a beautiful and wonderful thing, and while we may get on each others nerve, nag, struggle to find our rightful place in our marriage, feel as though we don't measure up, feel as though we measure above and beyond reproach, feel we are experts or novice, or feel that intimacy is over or underrated one thing is true and certain we are mandated to reverence and love each other.
A wife is supposed to see to that she reverences her husband, and a husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church and gave his life for it. When I think of Christ dying for the church, I don't think of him taking time out to see if there was a checklist of his duties as a man. When I think of Sarah, I don't see her muttering about how undeserving Abraham was of the title she gave him of "my lord". I don't see any of that. Yes, the bible spells out what wives are supposed to do and what husbands are supposed to do, and we can add or take away our own convictions and beliefs; but at the end of the day it goes back to REVERENCING AND LOVING AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH.
Neither of those terms involves selfishness, obliviousness to the spouses needs, wants or desires, or a preemptive attitude of the role each other plays. It simply means we cant let the ups and downs of everyday life get in the way of reverence and love.
I will end with this. No matter how the circumstances of your marriage came to be, it happened in your life because God allowed it. He gave you the person you married as a gift. No one said you will like the gift always, but all in all its a gift. And on that faithful day, when you stand before him to take account of how you took care of the gifts he gave you ( spouse, children, job, family, time, and knowledge of his word) nothing else will matter. Nothing, not how much laundry you did, or how many coupons you clipped, or menus you planned, or homeschooling, or blogging, or even how neglected you felt. You will only be judged for the way you handled the gift he designed especially for your life. If you were a gift in someone else's lifetime, then guess what? They will be judged for how they treated you. You do your part and let God take care of the rest, it may not feel good all the time, but you can't go wrong.
Have a wonderful and happy weekend, stay blessed and encouraged!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

A Neat Inexpensive Valentine's Day Gift Idea & My Preggo Belly

the gift sydnee made for her dad

the gift we gave my parents
I just wanted to share a neat little gift idea. We were really strapped for cash this Christmas and so I went to Walgreen's online and created this collage for my mom and dad individually using a few of our wedding photos that we thought would be their favorites. We were blessed that instead of purchasing the photos individually, our photographer sold us the CD along with the copyrights for about $1 or less a picture. The CD also included my bridal portraits too. I also went in and created this for my oldest daughter to give to her dad for Christmas. The cool thing is that you just upload your pics and the computer arranges the collage. It arranged both of ours perfectly. We were told it was the best Christmas present ever. We purchased nice black framed and just wrapped them up for my folks and for my daughter's father we just paid for the print and had it ready for pick-up at the Walgreen's closest to his address. I just thought I'd share this nice little gift that we spent less than $20 bucks on total. Valentine's day is drawing near and this would be an ideal gift for your sweetheart! ( just click on the picture if you want to see it larger)

edited to add: a photo of me sitting at a desk with my bun in the oven.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Still Alive & Well

Where do I start??? Well first and foremost I'm still alive and doing much better. Baby has settled down and we have reached an understanding that he/she has to chill out and just stay put for the next 90 days or so.

I have been a horrible blogger, but with all that has been going on in my life its just been challenging for me to find a soap box and stand on it. I'm still learning the marriage thing so I feel out of place to start all of a sudden blogging as a marriage expert. I still struggle with the desire to return to work for obvious financial reasons so blogging about how much I love being a stay at home wife and mom would be very hypocritical of me because I am still finding my niche in that role. So I have just taken a break due to severe writers block. I don't want to be one of those bloggers who just blog because they don't want to miss a day of blogging, also it is often said that if you don't blog regularly then you loose your blog followers and I guess I just don't want to feel like blogging is a job for me. So I just sit here and peruse blog land, leave my comments and continuously try to feel inspired.

On a different note family life is great, we had a wonderful holiday and new year. My hubs birthday is New Year's Day so it was a very wonderful experience to bring the new year in with him and the girls as a family. I am truly blessed to have such a wonderful husband, and while we are both coming into the growing pains of domestic habitation, its still fun and loving. We have made it through our first six months and it hasn't been hard at all. We keep God first and I stay in my place as a wife who submits to her husband and I love it because I have a husband who lives exactly what the bible says, he loves me as he loves himself and he treats me as such. It is kind of funny watching us mold together as a family. The girls love him but they try their little shenanigans that children do. We have had a few bumps in the blending but early on I let them know that Mark is their daddy and the head of our house and there is no allowances for disrespect or drama. I explained to them that mommy has an obligation to God to obey and follow daddy and we will not be a divided family. There is no step-dad, or step-daughters we are a family and mommy trusts daddy's decisions, so the old divide and conquer tactic won't work.
It didn't take long for them to fall into place once they saw that I wasn't falling for the old divide and conquer trick. They saw first hand we were on one accord, even if I didn't agree with something, we took it behind closed doors, talked about it, and moved on from there. That would be the advice that I would give any single mom on the road to marriage. You have to trust your new husband with the best interest of your children and as the head of your house. You have to submit to his authority which means your children have to also. If you don't feel you can trust him, then don't marry him. But I will save all that for another post.

Well I think that's about all for the updates, hubs and I find out what's in the oven on the 20th so next Tuesday I most certainly will be posting. We are praying and hoping for a boy but will be satisfied with either sex. Keep us in your prayers and Stay blessed and encouraged.