A Marriage After His Heart

My journey and life unscripted as I transition from the role of a single mom living for God to a newlywed trying my best at blending and expanding my family, all while pursing a marriage after God and my husband's heart. Join us on this journey!

Monday, February 23, 2009

Little Miss Thomas Is Now A Reality!

lil miss thomas first pic

Today I had the luxury of taking advantage of a really cool study at the University School/Hospital where I used to work. Basically they strapped monitors on my belly and put this non-evasive instrument on my belly above baby's head and for 20 minutes or so played these sounds that only baby can hear. The test measures brain wave activity and the baby's response to the noises and then responses to complete silence. Cool thing is I have it on video in 4D and I must say I am amazed by the marvels of modern medicine. The even more cool thing was that before we started the testing, the nurses and I had a fun time with the 3D ultra sound machine. The baby cooperated so well that they asked me if they keep going because they very rarely get to practice on a mother who's baby is fully cooperative. That was the coolest thing in the world to me. I am so used to the regular black and white ultrasounds where I have to nod and guess I know what they are showing me, all the while praying that I could figure out what blots are what and what lines are who. So we found out for sure undeniably that we have a beautiful baby girl on the way. And I'm not just showing a mother's prejudice she is beautiful.

I think having this experience today really made her feel real. Not that she didn't before, but to have already seen her and to see her in action moving, twisting, yawning, smiling, putting her foot in her mouth, and even pouting was just surreal. I often wonder what's going on in my belly as she is quite active, now all I have to do is pop in a video and watch her in action. I can't wait to show the girls, this will be over the top for them and I can already see how much she looks like her dad. I only posted on pic but I have two rolls of sonogram pictures, I just snapped a picture of one of my favorites I may try to scan a couple tonight to see if they come out better. I wish I could post some of the video, but it is read only and I can't share it or download it but I can most certainly enjoy it. She already weighs about 5.5lbs and we still have a few more weeks to go!

On a different note, my temporary assignment ends on Friday and honestly I can't wait to return home. I was talking to Mark today and told him that I can tell the balance and order of our home is off. I have so much I want to do to create a sanctuary of peace and organization. Right now chaos and disorganization seem to be taking over. I can tell that the chemistry is off, even though I was sick most of the time there was more balance there than it is now. I have been reading these series of posts by my good friend Lylah. I just love her posts on The Simple Home and Creating a Sanctuary. It has been helpful to me to have that reminder that my sanctuary starts from inside my heart and spirit and for me to make an honest effort and commitment to keep my spirit focused on God's idea for my home's heart and center.

Remember to stay blessed and encouraged. Until next time!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

How wonderful to read about that you are now happy about the little angel you are about to bring into this world. I am an occassional reader of your blog and I was quite disturbed several postings ago where you mentioned shedding tears when you found out you would not be having a boy. I just couldn't understand how anyone could shed a tear over the sex of a child, especially in light of all the bible tells us about the good of children. Honestly, it seemed selfish and ungrateful to the good Lord for his blessings to you of a healthy child. I'm pleased to read about the HAPPINESS you are now feeeling towards the new babe. Stay blessed.

A Marriage After His Heart said...

Anonyomous,

Thanks for visiting and leaving your comment, it is greatly appreciated and I went back to re-read that post because I didn't rembember being so uncaring as you made me sound and this is what I wrote:

Earlier I said we were praying for a boy, well we're not 100% sure but it looks like another little woman in the house. I will admit, there was a brief moment of disappointment, the girls immediately broke out in tears, they were so praying for a "baby brother" and my hubs who is excited that we are having a healthy baby tried to hide his temporary let down of the male desire to father a son. I must admit I shed a tear or two. I had a strong desire to give my husband a son, but I am glad to be giving him a child at all. We sucked it up and my soon to be middle child ended the note with " It's okay mommy, as long as we have a healthy and very pretty baby sister, we'll be fine!" So, we are fine!

I did want to clarify one small thing. I was always happy about my baby,and it didn't take a flashing light to change my mind or make me instantly start loving her . While my and my children's tears may have seemed selfish, they were not. We set our hopes on desire that we had personally and spiritually. I wanted a son, for my husband, and one that I could dedicate and raise up in the Lord because He knows we can use a few more in this horrible, horrible world of lost men. I wanted to raise a good godly husband for a godly young woman, and I could go on and on about why my desires were that. I believe I stated in the post that we immediately got over it. The disappointment was mainly because we put set our expectations upon our desires and not God's will for us, and when that happens disappointment will come. I belive that happens in the blog world too. We expect for bloggers to be on a certian plane and when they display human frailty we become disappointed with them.

I don't mean to sound so defensive but the comments you left were rather harsh and made me out to look like a selfish, unloving mother who cared more about the sex than the child. Those who actively engage and frequently blog know my true heart and know that I have loved this child from the beginning. As you would have seen, the same day I updated my ticker to reflect a beautiful little girl and we gave her a blog nickname. My husband just so happens to be the only living child of deceased parents, I would think he would want to carry on his family's name, that's not selfish, that is actually biblical to have that desire. Actually when Hannah prayed, she prayed specifically for a "man child" and I don't feel that she was being selfish, obviously the Lord didn't because he blessed her with her hearts desire. Yes the bible says children are a blessing, but it also has examples of where the Lord specifically blessed a woman with a male, to carry on the seed. Both of my husbands parents are deceased, he was his father's only son, so I can't say he is selfish for wanting to carry on his father's name and heritage.

Again I am sorry you felt that way and I am sorry you read my post that way, I would hope that any posts afterwards in reference to my baby would have reflected the love that we have for her. Again keep coming back and thanks for your comment, It helps me as a blogger to always be sensitive about what I say because only God and Iknow my hearts true intentions when I share my thoughts and feelings in this impersonal land of blogging LOL. Please in the future I only ask that if I say something that seems insensitive please feel free to e-mail me and I won't have a problem in the world explaining myself to you. But when you leave comments like how just did, it seems like an attempt to hit below the belt especially when I don't have a way to know who you are in blogland. I welcome Anonyomous comments but they don't feel so nice to me or others when they come across as an attack from someone who you can't defend yourself to.Stay blessed and encouraged!

Mommy said...

Hello! I am visiting over from Tomato Soup Cake. Diane says Hello!

I really enjoyed the snippet that she posted about what you wrote. Very wise indeed. ♥

I just read the above comment from anon, and I am sorry that there are people out there that don't allow others to be "human".

Yes, we are *all* selfish. Which is why we need God and his gift of salvation through Jesus.

I am thankful that you shared your heart, and how the the *LORD* is helping turn your slight disapointment into joy.

When I found out I was pregnant with my third child, I basically had a temper tantrum because we had a lot going on at the time. We had just moved, I was fighting depression, and all sorts of things.

God turned my "sorrow" (overwhelming feelings of not being able to feel like doing it all) into extreme joy. That boy is the "JOY" of my heart. It's like he knew his mommy needed extra encouragment. Whenever I am battling a bout of the blues, he gives me a "spontanious" hug and it makes me feel like it's the Lord giving me a hug. Like Jesus is saying "See, I gave him to you, because I knew you needed this encouragment!"

Yes, we can be selfish at times; but thanks be to God for his unspeakable gift!

(((hugs))) to you! And congratulations on your new little girl. I am sure she is going to be one amazing lady. ♥

Persuaded said...

my gracious anon... i was so saddened to read your comment to dear jamala. i have often appreciated how transparent she is. we all have struggles, trials and temptations and it is only by God's grace that we can move past them. letting others see our struggles, and witness God's working in our lives through them is the greatest gift we can give to those around us. judging others, pretending that we are sin-free is perhaps the greatest sin of all.

Lee said...

Dear Jamala,

I must apologize for my comments to you as it appears, based on your response, that I totally misinterpreted your comments regarding the sex of your child.

In any form of communication, it is intent that matters, and I am greatful that you took the time to clarify and expand upon your earlier posting - thank you.

My comment yesterday was a bit too quick and I did not stop to think about it before posting. I know so many families who have struggled with infertility, child illnesses and disabilities, that I immediately get upset when anyone, blessed with a baby, focuses on what I consider inconsequential issues like the sex of a child. (Don't get me wrong - I know this doesn't refer to you - just wanted to explain my comment). Tears or any form of sadness, over sex alone, just are not emotions that I can personally relate to when it comes to pregancy. To me, babies are true blessings, miraculous little beings to be thankful for.

I must admit that I have "blinders" on when it comes to this issue.... often failing to acknowledge that, with a preganancy, there can be sadness over the death of a personal dream someone has for her family (ie, no male heir, no daughters, etc) while still having great joy for the child she is carrying.

I am truly sorry for having misinterpreted your comments and offending you yesterday.

Stay Blessed!

Lee

A Marriage After His Heart said...

Lee,

Thank you so much, please don't take today's post as an attack, but your comment allowed us to do some honest soul-searching and you have given us some things to be more aware of. I so appreciate you coming back!