A Marriage After His Heart

My journey and life unscripted as I transition from the role of a single mom living for God to a newlywed trying my best at blending and expanding my family, all while pursing a marriage after God and my husband's heart. Join us on this journey!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

From My Husband's Point of View

Yesterday morning while reading my comments on my post concerning our baby girl, we received what at the moment seemed as a scathing comment . I along with my husband was floored that we even came across as being ungrateful about our baby girl and he was going to post a comment that I later asked him to allow me to use today as a post. However, as the day wore on and as I had time to really sit and reflect on why I was still allowing it to bother me, I realized something. I realized that my anger was unjustified, and unwarranted. Not because I shouldn't care about what people say about me or my blog,especially when I don't know who they are or can't defend myself to them as we all so like to do, but because I am a person who doesn't like to be mis-interpreted or misunderstood. My only desire is that I want to always display the love of Christ. I am growing in my walk with him. I am young in my experience with him, and as I display the child-like characteristics that he instructs me too, I will always be ever learning and humble about my lack of knowledge during my walk with him. And although I "don't have to" I feel led to explain to the many who could have misread my post as uncaring or unselfish, and I thank the Anonymous commenter for speaking her peace and giving me a chance to reflect on how I express my heart as I always want to express it in a manner that glorifies God. I didn't mean to say so much, because I am now going to post my husbands thoughts on our unselfish desire to have a son.

To The Anonymous Reader from Mr. Thomas
The Bible states that in all thy getting get an understanding; so I personally feel lead to explain some things in “Love” so that others will be able understand the desire that we have as a family and still have. I am a husband first and the faithful loving father of 4 beautiful young girls who have a very special place in my heart. One of my desires as a Saved man of God is to some day bring up a young man in the Lord.

A little about my testimony, my mother and father were told that my dad could not have children do to health reasons. But due to their faith in God I am here today. Even after that, my mother almost died to have me because I was almost 10 lbs and breech and the doctors told her that one of us would die, but again through her faith in God's miracle we both made it and I am here today. I am the only son that my father had; and it was a miracle of God that I was born, so my outlook on pregnancy and the life of a new born is not that of selfishness, or ungratefulness as I am a walking miracle. Our motive and desire as a family was not selfish or ungrateful; my family was very excited when we found out that we were expecting. The tears of joy came down our faces because we understood the love that we will be able to render to our child and we conceived on the very first try.

Believe me ,I understand that not all children are born healthy mentally or physically do to reason of many circumstances, As I said before my parent’s were told that my dad could not father children, but my older brother from a previous marriage was born with a birth defect, he died as a teen due to his heart defect, after being told he wouldn’t make it past 2yrs old, so trust me when I say I understand the beauty and preciousness of life. Also because I have worked as a Mental Health Professional for over 7 years; helping many who are mentally & physically challenged I know and understand to be grateful for the blessings of a healthy child.

My desire for a son is special to me, why? It’s a blessing to see a man father his son in general and become active in his son’s life, but it becomes more touching to me when you see a man raise his son in the fear of God and the love of God. Often times I picture myself playing catch with my son, or taking him fishing and going to a football ,or baseball game leaving him lasting memories that will have a lasting impact on his life. I desire to give my son those things that I didn’t have as a child.
I have mentored many young men and little boys and I would occasionally asked them who would they like to be when they grow up and many would mention a star athlete or a star musical singer, but rarely do I hear “Dad” which I find so distressing, so for me to have the opportunity to ask God about having a son for His behalf, regarding myself as his faithful, humble servant isn’t so selfish; a man desiring a son is blessing from God.
To have that desire, and then get your hopes up because you know God promised you this, only to find out that it’s not time for you yet is somewhat disappointing on the immediate front, but to know that God will grant me the desires of my heart in HIS time is precious because God loves His children enough allows me the ability to cast down the disappointment and cling to the joy of knowing that God blessed me to have the miracle of having a child at all. So if we seemed ungrateful for our tears ( which only lasted a few seconds) please forgive us. It was not our intentions to display a spirit of ungratefulness to God's blessings, but our human side got the better of us for a brief moment. Thank you for your honesty and God Bless You!!! Mark Thomas

1 comment:

Terry @ Breathing Grace said...

Mark and Jamala,

I have been thinking abut this psot quite a bit since I can totally relate to where you are coming from. I, too, desired a son for many of the reasons you have stated here. I was absolutely certain that God had promised me a son. And I knew this last baby had to be the son we desired because for us (Jamala knows the why, you can ask her), this fifth baby would most likely be our LAST natural born child. Unlike you guys, we decided not to find out the sex of our babies beforehand.

Any way, this baby was agirl, too. With the daughter my husband brought to our marriage, we have 6 girls. I was disappointed, too. Doesn't mean I don't love my daughter. I adore her and got over my disappointment quickly. My husband wasn't as disappointed because he had taken a different position than me. His position before the Lord was this: "Be it done according to your will, Lord."

We will probably not have a natural born son. My husband decided long ago that should we not have a son from our bodies, we will love and raise a young man the way God has loved us, by adoption, and we have peace with that.

This is not to question what God has promised you. That is between you and Him, and I would never say what God's will is in the life of any of His children other that they love Him and keep His commandments. I will say that openness to whatever His will is brings much peace.

And I know, because I talk to Jamala regularly, that you guys are excited and are in love with your soon to be born baby girl. On blogs, people have a one dimensional view, filled their own biases and they se what they want to see and comment accordingly. Sometimes it's good to clarify your position (especially if you were wrong), but most times, as in this case, it's best to ignore comments that are off base.