A Marriage After His Heart

My journey and life unscripted as I transition from the role of a single mom living for God to a newlywed trying my best at blending and expanding my family, all while pursing a marriage after God and my husband's heart. Join us on this journey!

Thursday, January 22, 2009

More Love Please!!

No, I don't have Obama-mania, but I will admit that over the past couple of years I have been inspired in love with the way they openly show their love and admiration for each other. As a former loather of all things PDA, I have had a change of heart. Maybe it's because I am newly married, or maybe it's because I am finally glad to be able to see un-staged, unscripted, healthy, vibrant love on display for the world to see, by a young couple with kids. I now think it's a beautiful and healthy thing that the world needs to see more of.
Now I don't really agree with the mainstream media, who have already given them the task of restoring a positive image of "black love". I actually kinda resent it being tied just to one race. However, after much observation ( over the past couple of years) I will admit it's something I believe could be on display more openly in the Christian arena.

I mean we talk and post about all these things we need to do behind closed doors to spice up our martial relations, but publicly it just seems as though its more business as usual. I see Christian couples out together, out spending time with the kids and all that stuff but I don't see much of the flirting, the sparkling looks in the eyes, the playful looks that can only be understood by the couple but felt by anyone within close proximity.

mark and I on our last night of our honeymoon.

Mark and I get tons of heat from some, even family about how "all up under each other" we always are. We get lovingly teased in church because we sit so close that we read from one bible. We hold hands while we drive and when we are out eating, we always sit at a booth and next to each other. I mean, it's not tasteless making out, but we do sit close, we walk close, we are engaged in each other when we are out and the girls think we are romantic. After we came under heavy fire during the holidays from a close relative it hit me finally that the world is not used to seeing the effects that Godly love between a husband and wife portrays. He gets called hen pecked, whipped, nose wide open and other such crazy things, and while the criticism may hurt a little, we both know we were not being vain, but humble about how we feel about each other.

Sadly, many of my friends and relatives outside of my church peers aren't used to seeing me or with someone who is attentive to me, who never leaves the room without asking all if there is something he can get them while he's up. They aren't used to seeing true chivalry. The chivalry that is alive in my husband is only because it is a virtue that God put in his heart. He doesn't try to make the other guys look bad, I don't try to make the other women look like I am "oh so holy", but we revel in how God has ordained for us to treat one another; and while it would seem more tempting to retreat and fall victim to the lie that we are causing an offense, we have just purposed that we will continue to bask in the miracle of the love that was made and given from God. Truly of ourselves we are not deserving, but God gave us a testimony and we will share it as humbly as possible and stay true to ourselves. We are in love, and the world doesn't want us to show that openly.

I think about Matthew 5:16, Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. In my mind this applies to not only how I conduct myself as a Christian, but how I advertise my marriage.With all the superficial filth and the demoralization of love in our culture today, true and blessed love from God between two people needs to be displayed openly. I'm not talking about only a "yes dear, submissive, obligatory love, I mean constant aura of courtship and bliss. I also don't mean that we need to compete with the overly sexed make out sessions, and walking around with our hands stuffed down each others britches, groping and falling all over each other displays of affection. But there needs to be something that isn't always seen as so serious or starch collar.

We don't need to walk around looking as though we love each other out of obligation as if we sleep in the same room in separate beds with wool night gowns donned with stocking caps either.We want this world to once again embrace the sanctity of marriage, the beauty of biblical courtships,and the true grit of sticking it out and weathering the storms. We want women to embrace biblical femininity, loving submission, and to turn away from the detrimental viewpoints of our feminist counterparts. We want more men to be strong, biblical, loving heads desirers of all things lovely,well who exactly do we think is going to advertise this? Certainly not this mainstream, anti-family culture! Not Hollywood or the music industry with its carefree love and overly sex crazed ideology of the perfect life. Yes, we have books, but really and truly they often begin with good intentions and then dwindle away once one's attention span has been distracted by "other things".

People are more drawn to the images they see. They are more drawn to love in action versus love in words. Christian couples are the dwindling light that is becoming overshadowed by the darkness of lust, divorce, fornication, and all things contradictory to the word of God.So with that being said, I encourage us all to try a little harder to show the world outside of blogging and writing about how happy we are, and how much better having a strong marriage is than the alternative the world has to offer. Maybe we need to outwardly show that we have happy, loving, fun and flirtatious marriages a little bit more. I believe that a couple can be together so long that they just fall into a routine lockstep and really aren't aware of our presentation or lack there of of our contentment vs complacency.

We can compete with them, I believe we do out number them. Why? Well we all believe that love conquers all and according to Scripture love beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Love never fails.

edited to add: I added photos' of VP Biden and his wife Jill, because I love them too! They are the coolest granparents and a cute mature couple!

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