A Marriage After His Heart

My journey and life unscripted as I transition from the role of a single mom living for God to a newlywed trying my best at blending and expanding my family, all while pursing a marriage after God and my husband's heart. Join us on this journey!

Friday, January 16, 2009

My Thoughts On The Gift Of Marriage

erin n dad working on her book report and reading list

Yesterday, I walked out of the bedroom into the kitchen on this heart stealing scene. Since we have become a family, Mark has replaced me as the homework guru. Not because I have been sick with the baby, or tired, or busier, but because I was fired from homework detail. Yep, my girls the first week of school got together, had a meeting, and officially stated that since I had spent so many years doing homework, they wanted to give me a break and let "daddy do it."
At first, I thought it's a cute gesture, it won't last, but it's cute. Needless to say, we are now in the second semester and I only get called in as a sympathy measure because I wander aimlessly around trying to fit in the circle. Part of me was overly grateful, because with all the preggo issues, I really needed a break and wasn't always feeling 100% enough to try and figure out all the new method's of fourth grade math and science. Or I wasn't feeling animated enough to read in character ( something I have never been really good at) for my first grader's weekly reading homework. The other part of me was a little envious because once I got up and running I noticed that, they never came back to ask me into the homework club. I was officially sidelined and a little bit of my pride felt pinched. As I took time to really sit back and observe ( without correcting) I realized the awful truth: He is so much better and patient at this than I am.Scripture tells us to give honor to whom honor is due, so I feel the need to do so today.
Also, after reading my dear friend Terry's blog over the past few days, and this post, and the comments thereafter, I felt the need to put my true feelings to paper. While I am still a newly-wed, I have seen dozens of double digit decade marriages nd I have lived through some of the most awful relationships, and seen some pretty horrific examples of a marriage so I gleaned from those experiences to form this thought. In my mind, marriage is a beautiful and wonderful thing, and while we may get on each others nerve, nag, struggle to find our rightful place in our marriage, feel as though we don't measure up, feel as though we measure above and beyond reproach, feel we are experts or novice, or feel that intimacy is over or underrated one thing is true and certain we are mandated to reverence and love each other.
A wife is supposed to see to that she reverences her husband, and a husband is to love his wife as Christ loves the Church and gave his life for it. When I think of Christ dying for the church, I don't think of him taking time out to see if there was a checklist of his duties as a man. When I think of Sarah, I don't see her muttering about how undeserving Abraham was of the title she gave him of "my lord". I don't see any of that. Yes, the bible spells out what wives are supposed to do and what husbands are supposed to do, and we can add or take away our own convictions and beliefs; but at the end of the day it goes back to REVERENCING AND LOVING AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH.
Neither of those terms involves selfishness, obliviousness to the spouses needs, wants or desires, or a preemptive attitude of the role each other plays. It simply means we cant let the ups and downs of everyday life get in the way of reverence and love.
I will end with this. No matter how the circumstances of your marriage came to be, it happened in your life because God allowed it. He gave you the person you married as a gift. No one said you will like the gift always, but all in all its a gift. And on that faithful day, when you stand before him to take account of how you took care of the gifts he gave you ( spouse, children, job, family, time, and knowledge of his word) nothing else will matter. Nothing, not how much laundry you did, or how many coupons you clipped, or menus you planned, or homeschooling, or blogging, or even how neglected you felt. You will only be judged for the way you handled the gift he designed especially for your life. If you were a gift in someone else's lifetime, then guess what? They will be judged for how they treated you. You do your part and let God take care of the rest, it may not feel good all the time, but you can't go wrong.
Have a wonderful and happy weekend, stay blessed and encouraged!


Mark Thomas said...

This was a very good post and it has much truth to it. I thank you for the soundness and honesty you allow God to show you. I am thankful and reminded of what I had, and what I have now. Sometimes the tears roll down my face as I am coming to work and God reminds of His goodness through your love towards me. I desire to be the best husband for the women God gave me. I know that you are not just any women and I can’t treat you any way, so Mark is always reminded of New Wine.

The message is loving you through the love of Christ. God corrects me and tells me when I am not giving the attention, affection, care, and concern that is needed for your growth. This is so important and can be overlooked, but I THANK God that He is a loving God to remind me of the things I need to do as a man for my family.

I was blind but now I see. Pray for me because I only desire to be the best husband God would have for me to be for you. Thank you so much for your support. God loves you and God cares. I still have to die out to myself. I see so much God has for me spiritually; so pray for me baby I really need it. Thank you! Thank you! God bless.-mark

Terry @ Breathing Grace said...

I hesitate to intrude on such a beautiful moment between the Thomases, but I just wanted to 1)acknowledge the link (thanks friend!), and 2) say that this is a wonderful post and that your family is wonderfully blessed.