Friday, December 19, 2008
I tried relaxing because my doctor's appt is not until the week after Christmas. I followed the nurses advice to try to keep the fluids coming and to stay off my feet until my doctor's appointment but if that doesn't work by today then I am looking at a possible hospital stay depending on if I have dilated any coupled with IV drip and total bed-rest.
So I am asking for your prayers during this time because we certainly don't want baby coming early at all and I really don't desire a hospital stay and complete and total bed-rest. We are praying that there is no dilation and that I can increase my fluid intake with water or something more healthier than carbonated drinks.
Family is doing great, my girls are growing up to be such helpers. They were out of school earlier this week due to an ice storm here and they took such good care of me and themselves while demanding that I stay in bed and keep my feet up. As a matter of fact I am off to school now to try to spend a few moments with them on this last day of class. Continue to pray for us and we will do the same. I will post an update on baby's progress. Again thank you for your continued prayers and support!
the thomas family
Thursday, December 18, 2008
When I started to struggle with things while in the newness of my spiritual life that I could argue or debate against the technicality of Scripture, this is the scripture that would come to me. I started asking myself could I just submit and do or do with out the thing for the glory of God until I received clear direction of his will. Is my defense of how I see things so important that I can't just try the opposite of my will to have the ability to walk circumspect with the Lord ?
I stared to find out that Once I submitted and said " Lord I don't agree with or see this matter that is weighing on my heart but I will humbly submit and see where you lead me", begin to do so then I felt free and clear about the matter and received that needed direction and conviction in my heart about where God will have me to stand on the matter.
As I sit sometimes and read many blogs and blogger comments, I often wonder If on those things we read that we think of as too extreme, or an over-exaggeration of Scripture do we have an obligation to stop and ask ourselves is God trying to tell me something? Is there something he's showing me? No, I blatantly disagree with this sister's point of view but why Lord is it weighing on my heart so heavy? Why am I feeling drawn to devote my time to prove her theory wrong, could she be right? Or, are we so sanctimonious and caught up in our stands and beliefs that we could never entertain that we could have been taught wrong? Or do we just think that certain beliefs calls too much for us to step outside our comfort zone because Salvation doesn't require all that?
I know that we all have different interpretations on Scripture, we have different doctrinal view-points some of them have similar foundations but just a little different structure, but one thing holds true, we all feel that we are blogging in the will of the Lord, to spread a ministry and enlighten the world on the biblical principals that concern us as wives, mothers, and godly women. We jostle each other's creative juices with thought probing posts and revelations but then there are times when we just don't see or agree with another sisters' ministry. Scripture doesn't mean that to us, and things become a tad bit legalistic, or extremist. So who's right? We say search the Scripture to see if what we read is relevant to us and God's will for us; but if we are searching the Scripture defensively with the hopes of debunking another sisters idea are we then keeping an open heart, mind, and will for God to show us that what we have been taught, or discerned from the Scripture was maybe wrong, or maybe needs to move up another level?
Could God show us one thing for one season or period in our lives, and then direct us outside of our comfort in that area to prepare us for another season in our lives? Could there very well be a teaching or way of thinking that makes no sense to us now, but could possible save our children or grandchildren 20yrs from now?
Trust me, I am not naive enough to go out there and try any and everything I disagree with, but in being honest with my one soul there are those things that only God and myself know about that burdens my thoughts and my mind. I am honest with myself about these things, and I take it to God to see if he is trying to show me anything. So many times we think that we are in the Scripture but the interpretation that we get from that Scripture is what we pull from it to satisfy our own will and desire. My biggest fear is that I will become deceived by my own interpretation of Scripture because I want it to fit into my box.
I often think of the story in the gospel Luke where Jesus confronted Simeon Peter after they had spent all day fishing with no desired result. He told them to launch out into the deep. It is evident by their response to Jesus that they were tired, it was nighttime and they could see no way possible to catch any fish but they trusted Jesus and tried the opposite of what they thought they knew and were blessed abundantly. This is the testimony that I want. Lord when I don't see it, when it goes against practicality, can I just do the opposite and launch outside my way of thinking and become abundantly blessed.
There is so much that we can learn from each other, but we need to always have the mindset and expectation that the one thing that we set out to learn may very well not be the thing that God is trying to teach us. Think of the rich young ruler who had obeyed all the commandments but when Jesus told him the one thing that he lacked, he couldn't see himself doing it and he went away sorrowful. Our one thing may not be riches, it may homeschooling, points of view on modesty,make up or jewelry. It could be not working outside the home, or living frugally. Whatever it is that we just outright disagree with due to a scriptural shade of gray, just ask yourself if you are emulating the rich young ruler? Is it that one thing that could possible keep you out of the kingdom of heaven? In my heart of hearts I believe that each and everyone of us has the main mission of making it to heaven and with that mission we should always remember that the road we have mapped out for our journey may involve a few twists and turns that we never saw coming but will lead us there quicker and safer.
All in all we should live every day of our salvation with the same mindset we had when we first came to the knowledge of Christ. The same eagerness to please him and the same child-like humility.
For behold this selfsame thing, that ye sorrowed after a godly sort, what carefulness it wrought in you, yea, what clearing of yourselves, yea, what indignation, yea, what fear, yea, what vehement desire, yea, what zeal, yea, what revenge! In all things ye have approved yourselves to be clear in this matter. I Cor 7:11
Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!
Monday, December 15, 2008
I thank God for being the Wonderful, Almighty, On-Time God that he is. I thank him for never ever needing my help when it comes to taking care of my needs or fighting my battles. I thank him for knowing so much more than I can ever imagine to know. I thank Him for the undeserving benefits and blessings that he bestows on me daily. I thank God for his benefit of hope, faith and love. I thank him for my wonderful, sweet, attentive, loving husband. I thank him for my beautiful, smart, God fearing and loving children. I thank him for allowing me to love him, I could not love him if he didn't find my love worthy! I thank him for VICTORY over the devil and his powers of darkness! He is everything to me. I thank God for being a Child of the King!!!! Take time out today to give thanks to The Almighty, for he is surely worthy to be praised!
Friday, December 12, 2008
The reality is that we are all from different walks of life, different circumstances, different scriptural interpretations, convictions, and beliefs. And while I know the topic of real life vs blogland has been beaten to death, there is one aspect that I just don't see supported or defended enough and that is the reality for most women who are like me or those who I have closely related to through my walk in this life who are intrigued by us but really have no inside clue to the lifestyle that we blog about.
- The reality is that some women have been abandon by men, broken down, abused, and trampled on and are looking to God to heal and better their lives but in the process they still have to depend on welfare, food stamps, state sponsored health care,WIC and other subsidies and it doesn't mean they are lazy and have no desire to get off the system, it is just taking longer in their lives than WE feel it should.
- The reality is that some women struggle with showing their kids affection because they never had it and were raised on tough love and feel so guilty about it that they can't even fathom having more kids because the enemy has lied to them and told them they are not good mothers.
- The reality is that there are more blended families now than traditional families this being in the Christian realm, so there are some women who have to work because the reality is there is more than one household that need to be supported.
- The reality is that some stay at home mothers do so just because they heard it's right and not because God opened doors for them to come home.
- The reality is there are some women who just don't see the secret burden their husband carries financially and spiritually because they moved outside of God's timing into a lifestyle in which they were not prepared for.
- The reality is there are some couples who never were taught how to be debt free and financially responsible and are now paying the price which leads to both husband and wife having to work outside the home.
- The reality is that some people live in places where there are NO jobs and they have to drive more than an hour to work.
- The reality is that some people actually do believe in the public school system and it would be a detriment to their kids if they pulled them out and tried to tackle homeschooling.
- The reality is that some women and or their husbands may have committed crimes which led to a record in their sins and they are just hoping that God will open a door for them to gain employment and until God opens that door they have to depend on the government to support their family.
- The reality is that some women and men have been fooled by false preachers and have a negative view of anything Christian and it may take some time for them to accept what we believe.
Just because one volunteers for needy families, or spends a few hours with those less fortunate doesn't mean one actually knows that person's day to day struggles. And yes there are those who just don't care or seem to want to do better but they often overshadow that population of those who want to but just don't even have a clue where to begin.
My reality is that although I was raised in a struggling middle class Christian family and made the choice to choose the hard road, I was bless to have the Godly examples to guide me back to a better road. And while I have the benefits of Salvation, I am still being buffeted about for my own faults, I have God's grace to take it patiently but what about those who don't. What about those women who are looking on the Internet trying to find some type of enlightenment from women who are spiritual and this lifestyle is very inviting but oh so new to them???
What about that women at work who longs to come home but then reads a blog who's tone says (albeit intentional or unintentional) that in so many words that she is a horrible mother, God didn't intend for her to work and leave her kids in daycare and her kids can never get the correct amount of love and support from her as long as she is selfishly working. Never mind that her working is needful and oftentimes still doesn't produce enough to meet bare essentials.
Don't get me wrong, I am not at all stressing that we shouldn't tell the truth boldly at time, because what I just stated above is exactly holds true, but there is that one thing called tone and if it were not important then Scripture would not tell us to let our words be seasoned with grace.
Seasoning our words with grace allows us to step back and look at things from a readers perspective. Not all the times, some topics call for loving reproof. I think sometimes that we as writers forget that we didn't know or have it all and we have been shed some biblical light that has worked in our favor and we decide to share it with the world but sometimes unknowingly our sharing can be a tad bit condescending. We in our own right can't see it, refuse to soften our truth for the reader because we can't " change what we say to fit every one's feelings" Yet Jesus did. There were times when he reproved and reproved hard, but there were times when he reproved and taught with so much love that it still spills from the pages of the bible.
Scripture tells us in Proverbs 11:30 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise. And a wise person always knows how to reach that audience of souls that he/she is trying to win. Paul did it in the passage of Scripture listed below. He knew that in order for him to win souls, he had to think like, and relate to those that he was witnessing to. Are we not to be held to the same standard??
I say all this because I feel that God is leading me to change the format and nature of my blog. My reality is that I don't know it all and I am still learning. I can relate more to those who are struggling to learn how to just cope with the day to day of being on this earth. I relate more to those women who although their kids were born in the most sinful of circumstances it doesn't take away that they love them and want the best for them just like those who were blessed not to have to travel that road. At the end of the day we are still mostly wives and mothers searching for God given direction on how to change our lives for the better.
I write this in now way judging or accusing any of the blogs I read, because I learn so much from them. I just know how tough it was for me in the beginning to just go through the day clinging to God's hope and joy. Trust me homeschooling, birth control, qiver-full, menu planning, coupon clipping, wifely submission, Titus 2 learning, first time obedience child rearing, bread baking, bible courtships, politics, and other biblical womanhood topics seemed like an un-learnable foreign language and an unreachable lifestyle for me.
My desire is to help that demographic of sisters who have been told that they will never be anything, who have been abused, who feel hope is lost because they are trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents. Those who are out near the highways and the byways who would love to come into the marriage celebration but don't really get invited. I believe that if we honestly search our hearts and reflect back we will see that there is truly a group of women who feel left out.
1 Corinthians 9:18-23
18What is my reward then? Verily that, when I preach the gospel, I may make the gospel of Christ without charge, that I abuse not my power in the gospel.
19For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.
20 And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law;
21 To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law
to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without
22 To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am
made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.
23And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I might be partaker thereof with you.At the end of the day after all the hot blogging topics and fiery comments our blog ministry mission should be to win someone over or closer to Christ. If you don't feel your blog is a ministry to others then maybe you shouldn't blog about anything Christ related because on that faithful day we will all be judged for every idle word that we speak whether it be spoken or written we are accountable for the soul that reads our representation of salvation.Have a wonderful weekend. Stay blessed and encouraged!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
As I sit and shudder of the thought of what type of bondage this time of year brings upon parents, and any other adult seeking to soothe the materialistic desire of a child by going into debt, not showing Christian stewardship to the less fortunate, greed, envy, covetousness and many other ungodly abominations, I wonder if God allows things like this to happen to shake our attention back to the reason for this season? Is he trying to let this country, (which was founded on spiritual principals and a need to worship God without reproof) know that he is not at all pleased with how we are creating generation after generation of materialistic children who covet everything they see?
Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we should not buy our children toys and presents and shower them with love, I am simply saying that everything that we do for our children should empower them spiritually, educationally and naturally and not the instant gratification of playing with the next hot thing or to be bound by what I call the "Gotta Have, or Must Have spirit. "
We have a God given responsibility to evoke and teach our children a sense of appreciation for gifts, a gratefulness of receiving something new, we should teach them to be good stewards of the blessings they receive and most importantly that any gift they receive is a blessing from God not an expectation!I think it is so sad when I see children put a guilt trip on their parents for not having the newest toy. It hurts me to see the young and innocent equate love with gifts before they are even old enough to hold a conversation. It saddens me even more when parents are bound by their children's covetousness , greed and desire for materialism... If I am burdened about it, how is God feeling about it?? He must be so sad, so frustrated, so furious.....
I had to cry out to God in this area too.... Last year I had to sit down and accept the brutally honest truth that I have allowed my children to become entangled in the expectation of materialism, and I have allowed a seed of ungratefulness and greed to be planted in their hearts because they covet every new toy that is introduced. At one while every conversation would include "Mommy I want, or Mommy can you buy me?" One of my children even knew my paydays and would say when you get paid on this day can we go to the store? I knew then that my weakness as a single mother was trying to make up for the absence of the father figure by buying gifts and always buying things they wanted.
I had to ask God and my children for forgiveness because this is not what mothering is all about, and was very unpleasing to God.I (we) have a responsibility to dig out this seed before its roots anchor and plant seeds of gratefulness, and appreciation, and self worth even when you don't have what everyone else has. I
If you are guilty of this, don't let the devil beat you over the head with condemnation, simply ask God to forgive you for this, and to give you wisdom on how to buy those things that are desired by your children. Make sure that every toy or game you buy can be nurturing, and serve as practical applications and learning.
With God's help, we can do this. We don't have to raise a generation of children who's favorite words are I want or can I have? We can raise children who are selfless, who want to be good stewards and who realizes that every thing given to us above that which we need is an extra blessing from God. We can watch the news about dangerous toys and feel good in our soul that we don't have to fear for our children in this area. I encourage you to sit down with your children and inform them of what is going on around during these economic slow downs. Show them the signs of "men pleasers", and of men being lovers of themselves and how this is not pleasing to God.
I am hoping to finish a Part 2 tomorrow on how we can get our children involved in learning how to recognize materialism and how they can overcome it with our help.
Friday, December 5, 2008
It takes patience, humility, divine instruction, and heaps of kindness to co parent and even more when both spouses have another parent to add to the equation. I have been blessed to have a wonderful relationship with my oldest daughter's father, and through the years he has always supported my parenting decisions and has sided with me even though he is not a Christian. He trusts and values my Christianity and knows that my daughter is better off with the decisions that I make, although he has a lot of good parenting advice for her too. I am also glad that my husband never had a desire to take his place as her father and always encourages her to keep and value her relationship with her biological father. Her dad lives in a different state so they have never formally met but they have formed a mutual respect for each others place in mine and my daughter's life.
With my youngest, its unfortunate but we have no relationship with her father. My decision to keep her resulted in the sacrifice of her never knowing or meeting her father. I would always tell her that I believe that in his own way he loves her, but we just have to pray for God to bless him to learn how to express it. Explaining paternal absence to a child has to be the most hurtful and devastating thing for a mother to have to do, but I also take some sort of comfort that he continues to support her financially and although he is selfish not to form a relationship with her, in his own little twisted way, he is showing some sort of love for her. I often tell people who know our situation that I can appreciate that he let one hurting do it, instead of being in and out, making and breaking promises or visits he just decided to walk completely out of her life and while it hurts, it doesn't hurt as bad as having constantly rip a band aid off an open wound.
One thing I always taught her was that anytime God takes something away from you, he gives you something better and blessing her with a "daddy" who loves her 100% was no different. I will forever be grateful that she was able to witness the promises of God through my courtship and marriage. She has a bond with my husband that is definitely a divine bond created and gifted by God. I can see that she feels loved and secure and no longer feels left out of the daddy's girls club.
On another note, early this year on my other blog SingleMomForGod, I posted a series of posts about my views about a certain pop star and her family who was going through some very trying times publicly and how we need to be careful to help our children and their idolization of pop culture and teen idols. You can read the posts here , here and here. Well, today I just so happen to be surfing the channels for a moment when I had some downtime and I came across the Britney Spears documentary she made while she was trying to get her life back on track, I must say I couldn't change the channel. My heart went out for her because she was so open, so human, so fragile as she was speaking about her melt down, her loss of custody, and just living her life in a public fishbowl.She is a fellow mother, and a single mother and my heart and prayers go out for her. Watching her just made me want to express even more how important it is that we teach our children the reality of the world. They need to know that what they see on TV with their favorite actor, or singer is really fantasy and a lifestyle not to be coveted and that famous people are still human, they make mistakes, they have good and bad days and they in essence don't have a life of real content and structure. I believe in telling our children and teens that they are blessed beyond measure just to have a normal life, to be able to by anonymous and live life simply is a desire for almost all of their favorite stars who on the outward glance seems to have the perfect life.
Our children will make mistakes, and will have falls, and humiliations that may seem major but for them to have the encouragement that they can do all of that and not have the whole world watching as it happens is a true blessing and makes it easier to overcome.
I wish everyone a wonderful weekend and I can't wait until I can start posting daily! Take care and God bless!
Friday, November 7, 2008
All and all just having charge of my own time has been a wonderful thing to me. No filled to the brim tasks scheduled on Outlook, better yet no Outlook calender to fill and those pesky little reminders to minimize. No emails every two minutes and no frustration of an over sized mailbox that prohibits me from sending an important email that I have been trying to send all day. Oh there is no worry of infuriating exhibits of office email etiquette in which every person on your email CC:"s their boss and his boss, and no intimidated person hitting reply to all and trying to one up you as they condescendingly argue a point via email when they are either in the next cubicle or the office across from you. I guess I am just giving you a glimpse of my former day in the life of and I haven't even made it to lunch yet!! All in all I love being home, but there is a brainwashed part of me that misses the madness. It was a integral part of my life for so long that I sometimes get overwhelmed by the little solvable "dramatic" problems of my household. My mornings have been replaced from staff meetings, unscheduled office meetings, frantic calls to put out bush fires that exceed the forest fire magnitude and shamefully I thrived on that. I was always the "one to make things happen" " the go to girl" and the "fire putter outer".
I remember the times when I worked for the state DHS office, I spent many of my days answering program complaints funneled down from the Governor's office, rubbing elbows with state legislators to solve the complaints from their constituents, and attending legislative sessions to answer possible questions about the grants or contracts I over saw. I was over a multi-million dollar state funded contract/ grants program all related to the states Division of Child Care and Early Childhood Education. I made sure that federal funds we provided to child care providers, and state funded pre- K programs was put to good use. I traveled, sat in on trainings, and monitored budgets with an eagle eye. I felt important, I felt proud because although I escaped my destiny of being a teacher like my mom, I made sure that those who were teaching our precious young ones were equipped to do so.
That part of my life I loved, then I traded public service with all myflexibility and family-friendliness to tangle myself up in the human resource department of a state funded teaching hospital and medical school. I went from helping others to actually hurting others. Everyday I would come home guilt ridden at the air tight, rigid, inflexible policies that I felt drowned the working family. I would close my office and cry sometimes at those who had to be terminated because they violated the attendance policy. Too many calls from the school, a family with four children all having chicken pox a week apart, waking up to the pink eye passed between siblings, or the famous stomach virus that all children have a day apart. It broke my heart, and I literally felt if I had sold my soul. I would plead to my boss, we have to give them some flexibility, these are real problems and real people. All we have to do is invest our support and it will save us admin and training dollars but rules are rules and upper management bureaucracy prevails. Each day I despised my job and it showed, I did not have the strength to work through it and eventually my fire dwindled. My work lacked passion, and so did I. The end result... my current place which is at home. I no longer miss my kids and felt the guilt of the working mom syndrome and of not being available 100%.
I don't know why my mind is allowing my fingers to type this, maybe I need a reminder of my purpose. I still have a desire to help others and since my husband and I did not financially plan for me to come home, there is a possibility that I may have to return if God wills. My desire is to have my dh go back to grad school and get his MA in social work, and become licensed and I may have to work for a little while to help him achieve that dream that will better our future, we just don't know yet. He loves working with kids with behavioral issues and in the geriatric mental health field. He has patience with individuals with disabilities and with the elderly that I know is a gift from God. He is a quiet and kind spirit that makes the light appear in the eyes of a child that has been told they just can't act right, and a smile light up in older women as he holds the door for them, or gets something off the top shelf at the grocery store out of no where. He doesn't believe in meds to make kids sit still, just plain old love and hands on one on one time. So my prayer is that he gets the license that he needs to make the money he deserves so that I can come home with no stress on him.
It is a humbling experience to see the man you love praying in the wee hours of the morning for a fishes and loaves miracle so that his wife doesn't have to work. It's a wonderful thing to know that that man's first desire is to pray and not pace the floor worrying, or not make his wife feel guilty for the burden that she knows is on his back. It's a beautiful thing for that man to lead his family in encouragement and devotion to the Lord for the his goodness and provision. It's a proud feeling when you know you are doing all you can to make things easier on him, cutting every corner, using every resource, and learning from others who have traveled the road you are now traveling.
This is where my mind is today, some moments it's all over the place, in the past, in the present, and sometimes looking at the future but in the end it always ends up on the things of God, the man I love, his child I am carrying, and the children that make it all worth it.
Stay blessed and encouraged until next time.
Ps: Baby and mom are fine, we are in our second trimester and I have gained over 10lbs in one month ( don't laugh this is monumental for me) and the nausea has subsided some and has been replaced with heartburn. I am anxiously awaiting Thanksgiving though, when I will eat myself miserable. Ahhh the holidays.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
AP INVESTIGATION: Alaska funded Palin kids' travel
Bad bad news for the McCain Camp. Sarah Palin under investigation.Gov. Sarah Palin charged the state for her children to travel with her, including to events where they were not invited, and later amended expense reports to specify that they were on official business.The charges included costs for hotel and commercial flights for three daughters to join Palin to watch their father in a snowmobile race, and a trip to New York, where the governor attended a five-hour conference and stayed with 17-year-old Bristol for five days and four nights in a luxury hotel.In all, Palin has charged the state $21,012 for her three daughters' 64 one-way and 12 round-trip commercial flights since she took office in December 2006. In some other cases, she has charged the state for hotel rooms for the girls. Complete story here
RNC shells out $150K for Palin fashion
The Republican National Committee has spent more than $150,000 to clothe and accessorize vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin and her family since her surprise pick by John McCain in late August. Complete story here
And for someone who is talking about being able to register with "Joe Six Pack, and Hockey Mom's and all those other small town middle class Americans this just isn't cutting the mustard for me. This would have been the perfect timing to be a Recessionista, purchasing a few outfits to mix and match, not having a spending spree on a wardrobe that you won't be pictured in twice! There is nothing middle class about this and frankly with the economy being the way it is it makes me wonder if this type of outrageous spending will follow them to the White House and if I will have to pay for trips and clothing that I could never afford. I don't know what the other party is doing, but I feel that if this type of spending is going on with them, then it will come to light and you will see another post like this from me!
Sunday, October 19, 2008
This week I plan on accomplishing more household chores and cooking more creative meals. I have missed cooking full course meals but I have fallen in love with one dish meals during this season.
On a different note I had thoughts that I wanted to share about this upcoming election. I have read many a Christian blog that have really had some powerful opinions about my party and our candidate; however my thoughts are not in defense of him totally as I have had a chance to do some real soul searching about my political view points. While I am currently a registered Democrat I do disagree with those liberal stances that clearly violate my spiritual stand. So on to my thoughts and they are not what you think. Like I said earlier I have done my soul searching and in the end decided to make a political change.
Many oppose Sen. Obama for his stand on abortion and rights for homosexuals among other social stands of his and while I agree with the opposition, I also wonder how is it that some Christians can passionately oppose him and embrace Sen. McCain and his support of the war. According to the bible sin is sin and no sin is greater or least in God's eyes and with that being said we have to be careful in judging one and not the other.
How much more value is the life of an unborn child than that of a unsuspecting family in an air-raided village, or the sacrifice of life on both ends by the enlisted soldier. Murder is murder whether you abort a child or create a casualty of war. I feel strongly about this because before I got saved I served my country both in active duty and as a reservist and even then it was hard for me to leave my babies after being placed on active duty during the start of this war especially when its basis has been founded on lies and unreliable information.
I served stateside for over a year shortly after 9/11 and I was able to get an honorable discharge before my unit was sent overseas. I had to make a difficult decision that my babies came first, and no amount of patriotism was going to replace the needed mothering that only I could give. They ( my old unit) are currently on their second tour of active duty and I have not regretted one day my choice to come home. Many of the people I served have lost their marriages and families and the children suffered the most. Unfortunately Uncle Sam has yet to repair the damage. I love my country, but I love my God more and if my freedom to openly worship him was taken away, his word is hidden in my heart and I would still worship him as Daniel. So the argument of wars being fought for my freedom to serve God is null and void for me. My freedom came when I repented of my sins and accepted him as my Lord and Saviour.
There is no way that I could see myself being a Christian and also serving as a soldier of war. I could not see myself feeling justified with taking another life under the name of patriotism. I guess that was an area that I lacked the patriotism needed to feel confident with making that tough choice. My brother made those tough choices in the front lines of battle during this war and I see first hand the sacrifice of peace of mind that he battles with. I am in no way speaking against those in uniform because there is a bond between service members that is fraternal but my bond with Christ is eternal.
I guess what I am trying to say is that it was very hard for me to denounce one candidate without denouncing the other, or vice versa. Since we only have two choices for which to vote, a choice not to vote for one specifically may be a silent support for the other one. I just wonder if we realize that by specifically singling out the fallacies of one without mentioning those same fallacies of the other sends the wrong message.
I will say this, I have found it despicable that in this day and age when a man of color who has an very profoundly ethnic name runs for president he has to be labeled as a terrorist or even worse in my eyes an "Arab or Muslim" as if that makes a person unworthy. I say this too because I also have an ethnic name and have faced many years of name'ism.
And not to be judgemental but I have a hard time with a certain woman vice presidential candidate speaking so condescendingly of another minority as if she can cast the first stone. I could go on and on but I will leave with this. I find it appalling that so many can compliment her on style, and attack of Sen. Obama, and the fact that she didn't abort her disabled child, when it is clear that her political ambitions were first and raising her family was second or third. I am not judging her mothering skills, but as I stated in my post here, I am sick of seeing teen and out of wed-lock pregnancy be swept under the rug and seemingly glorified as okay and not the fault of the parent. If she had taken a much more humble approach with less sanctimony, I would feel differently about her actions. She in my eyes she is in no position to aggressively and openly attack another person's character. Actually none of us are but it bothers me that many Christians endorse her. I am just being honest.
Although I may not be able to support Sen. Obama and his policies, he is a person that should be recognized as distinguishable. He is a man that has been committed to his marriage, there have been no skeletons of inappropriate relationships, he openly admires his wife, they have both committed to raising their children and I feel have stronger ties in the area of family values. This is something that we don't get an opportunity to see very much in politics and I feel that it is something to be admired, the same can be said about Joe Biden who has spent many years in politics and raised very grounded and successful sons. I feel that this is an area that doesn't get much praise or attention. The same could be said for my former Governor ( Mike Huckabee) who was my top choice as the best candidate for this race.
I may just be rambling but I wanted to finally share my political thoughts and it has nothing to do with education, health care, social programs, economics or any of that political finger pointing, what it boils down to is the sin that both candidates endorse and that is murder which will and can get me in trouble with God, so with that being said, I am no longer affiliating myself with any political party but have decided to be an Independent and to in the future focus on those things that will keep me with a conscience void of offence to God and to man.
Thanks for reading, be blessed and stay encouraged.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
I am almost 14 weeks and this little one is growing!!! My hubs and I are excited to be sharing this experience together and it is a barrel of fun sharing it with the girls. We found out that it is only one after wondering at one point if it may be two. I have one of those week by week pregnancy planners that shows the baby's development each week, and before a week goes by they have already read up on the upcoming week's development. They also have been such a great help to me, it is a pleasure to see them growing up and preparing to take on the responsibilities of being big sisters.
I want to thank my pal Terry who has been faithfully calling me to check on me and for her posts here and here on the transition from full time work outside the home to full time homemaking. I mentioned to her a couple of weeks ago that outside the usual daily cleaning, I am just clueless and overwhelmed on exactly how to grasp the productiveness of being home all day.
As she mentioned I have been so used to taking care of myself and the girls by myself, and running for years at this breakneck speed that once my lifestyle came to an abrupt halt I had no idea how to function in the slow lane. One thing that I really never elaborated on is that my coming home from work was not something that we planned for, it was a sudden decision I had to make based on circumstances at my job. We had not planned financially, or physically sat down and organized a plan for me to come home. This coupled with our learning how to live together being newlyweds with a blended family, and finding out we were expecting so soon into our marriage has been a whirlwind experience that has kept us humbly before God helped us grow stronger as a new couple. Although we may have our struggles I am the happiest I have been in my entire adult life. I thank God for all that he blesses us with, and living in lean times certainly helps in being more trusting in God and thankful for each blessing that comes our way.
In this time of economic uncertainty and difficulty it is good to know that above all I have the blessings of a heavenly father that owns everything and is always willing to share it with his children. I hope to post more next week but for now remember to pray for our family and to stay blessed and encouraged!
Monday, September 15, 2008
As I have mentioned and some of you know this is a very hard pregnancy for me. In my entire life, I cannot remember ( and I have tried) a time where I was this sick. I feel as though my body is in the middle of a mutiny which is headed by the child I am carrying. Now I am not complaining (I hope), but I am admitting that this is very difficult for me.
I am used to being on the go, always busy, and a somewhat productive member of society, and the glue of my home. Even before I was married all things started and revolved around me as mother andafter I got married it was me in my role of wife and mother. Now I feel as I have recently been reduced to a couch/bed potato who really can't do much for herself and we won't even mention the lack of production for my family. To simply put it, I am just not used to being or feeling useless. So yesterday in between my fits of nausea and excessive vomiting, I looked at my husband and said " Babe, I don't know if I can go through this again" and I was serious. Crying serious and that has bothered me all day and all night.
Is this a phase? Am I being selfish? Has my mind joined my body and jumped mutiny on me? Maybe it's because I am so hungry and I just long to sit and eat a meal from start to finish. I pray so, and not only that, I am praying for God to increase my joy, long suffering, and strength in him and HIS will for me and my future family.
So often I read blog posts where women are blasted, judged, and unmercifully crucified because of how they feel about children and family planning. While I believe the Scripture and what is says about the blessing of children, I don't see where God placed a number for the Christian society as a whole to use to measure a woman's acceptability in biblical womanhood or acceptable motherhood. God says "Be fruitful and multiply" but in the end, isn't he the one that creates the life and multiplication? Now I am a firm believer in that it is not our place to help him determine how many fruit equates fruitfulness, but is a woman wrong for seeking God on what his will is in her family equation without using birth control ?
Maybe its the hormones, maybe I am just wrong. I love children, I love the idea of creating children with my husband and I love being a mother and I want to have as many children as God wants me to have; but it still doesn't change the fact that they way I feel physically, and the inability to be a productive wife and mother at this moment makes me feel the way I do today. At this point in time, I simply don't feel as if I can have a large family. But then again it's the way I feel, God may say different. I am sure that if he does I won't feel this way, and I will simply have the grace and strength to go through the physical changes and discomforts.
Part of being a woman of God is being honest, being honest with yourself and God because God truly knows how I feel. Another part is being accepting of Gods will and through that honesty seeking his help and his will. One thing I promised myself when I started blogging is to always be honest. Mainstream Christian Womanhood Bloggers may not always agree with my thoughts but I refuse to portray this cookie cutter-ness just to be accepted in the blog community. My thoughts, feelings and actions may not always be ideal, but they are me and I am a work in progress. We will see what tomorrow holds as for now continue to Stay Blessed and Stay Encouraged- this includes me:)
Monday, September 8, 2008
As most of the jokes have been, no it seems that we wasted no time, and while we didn't get a honeymoon baby we got a just came back home from our honeymoon baby. The funny thing is that while we didn't plan it exactly, we didn't exactly not try and honestly I struggled with that. I figured that since it had been about 7 or more years since I had a child, and I was 7 or more years older that I wouldn't get pregnant so soon- well you can see that medical estimations are not my strong suit. To top it off I feel as though I have been pregnant forever, because I took one of those early response tests and I found out early last month while at my brother's wedding so we have known for a while now. Actually I found out the day before I made the hard decision to leave my job and for me that was a huge leap of faith. I proved my God and thus far he has been faithful to me.
We are over the moon though, the kids are super excited, and we are excited with the decision to talk openly about it so early. One of the things I refused to accept was the fear of miscarriage. That overwhelming desire to be protective of our blessing for fear we would have to come back and explain if the baby didn't make it, is the tool I used to increase my faith in God. We talked to our families, our church family, and the girls about it as soon as we found out, and we figured that it would be so much easier to have a lot of prayers and support that to worry about a few possible condolences. Of course you know I received some opposition for speaking out so early but all in all having the miracle of creating a life expectantly with my husband as ordained by God is something that I could never silence.
I remember thinking, are we out of our mind, we just got married, we haven't lived by this planned time table, how are we going to do this, but God reminded me that he took care of me when it was just me and why would he now take care of me now that I have done everything according to his will outlined by his word!
I will say upfront that we are praying earnestly for and claiming our son, but we will be delighted with whatever bundle of joy God blesses us with. I am just a firm believer and letting my God know exactly what I desire, because I know that as long as I obey him, he will grant me the desires of my heart according to his will. My husband is the only child of his father who is deceased and there is a huge desire for that legacy to go on so we are trusting in God in this area.
Physically I have been just whipped. This by far has been the most difficult pregnancy. I am sick 24-7 and I can't keep anything down. I mean nothing! I had morning sickness a little with the girls, but it was over by mid-morning and the end of the first trimester, but this little one is different. I am constantly sick and nauseous. I have tried everything and right now nothing is staying down. The one thing that is constant is that I have this excessive salivation which prompts the vomiting and I constantly walk around with my notorious "spit towel" which makes me feel so unattractive and it was a dead give away with my mom and all those close to me. Everyone kept telling Mark, if you see her spitting in a towel, she's pregnant!!! Any advice for relief on this one will be so greatly appreciated!
Well I guess I will end here, I have these small spurts of energy and my spurt has spurted out! Thanks to you all who have emailed me wondering why I have fallen off the planet- as I said earlier I had a good excuse. I do hope to post more because I miss it so but in the meanwhile- Stay Blessed and Encouraged!
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Isaiah 26:3Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.
How does one stay focused when you don't really know what to focus on? Have you ever been in a situation that is so new and so uncharted that you don't even know how to even talk to God about it? Not to sound pitiful, but I am in such a bit of a pickle. I know that I need to remain focused on God and his will right now. However, I feel just as anxious and unfocused as my six year old does when her attention span shuts down! :)
Whoever said that remaining in God's will (while trying to remain focused on what He wants and not what you want) is easy needs to come and see me like right now! Because I am realizing today, more than ever that when you are used to being in control and you release your control you have to completely walk away from it. I almost feel like I did when I left my newborn off with my parents for the first time. Now I knew she was in good hands but I felt the need to keep calling and coming by to check on her, and who better to take care of her than the ones who took care of me??
It is exactly the same situation when we take our problems, concerns, desires, and burdens to God. We have to drop them off at the cross and keep walking, never looking back until we are told or called to come back to pick up our blessing or answer. Meanwhile, we must focus ourselves on things other than what we left in his hands.
This my friends is the test.So today I have resolved that I am going to keep my mind off my newborn- because that is how I feel about what I have given to God. I will walk away, I will find something to do for Him, I will take care of myself, I will not idolize it, I will throw my focus on my family. I will not keep thinking about it, I won't ask God how it is, or when is a good time for me to pick it up? I will guard my focus because in the end I know that It shall be and it is well ( II Kings 4:22-26) . Below is one of my favorite passages of Scripture:
Matthew 6:32-3432(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.34Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.
Monday, August 25, 2008
And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Well friends, as you can see I have been lying low for the past couple of weeks. Part of it has been for reasons within my control, the other for reasons beyond my control. I still can't receive Internet access in my neck of the woods, and unbeknownst to me blogger access is restricted at our local library. At first I was a little anxious, but then I got to thinking about all the desires that I had for my home and my spare time once I settled into my stay at home role and decided that it was probably best that I just spend time focusing on those things and less on blogging.
The past few weeks have been a very humbling experience for me. One I have been ill and was forced to rest and totally depend on my husband and children, the other being that I had time to sit down and be quiet with my thoughts. The latter proved to be a test of the wills. I found that during all of my years "on the go", I really never had taken the opportunity to sit down un-interrupted with all of my thoughts. All of my hopes, fears, insecurities, dreams and ambitions. Once I did this, I realized that many of them were just as I mentioned, my thoughts and not God's reality for me.
I've had all of these ideals about my life, my career, raising my children, and even being married and what I found is that even though I thought I had acknowledged God in these areas, I honestly did not. What I did was, I informed him of the things I wanted to do, I searched my heart and the Word to see if my ideals lined up with the Scriptures and when I didn't hear the ever so clear NO then I just went along making plans for my life, and my family's life.
The truth is that I never heard NO from God because I really and truly didn't ask him. I kinda sorta asked, you know how your kids do when they tell you they are getting ready to do something in hopes that you won't disagree or question. Well that is what I found I was guilty of.
Now the work lies in reprogramming my mind. Actually having the time to sit still and talk to God, listen to him and for him, and to trust in him is the starting point. I realized that the unhappiness in my job was simply because it wasn't from God. The repair in the relationship with my kids exist because I put all other things first even when I didn't realize it. Sometimes we make mistakes, honest mistakes, most are very unintentional, but the thing about mistakes is they will show up sooner or later and they have to be corrected or they will fester and cause more problems than the actual fixing.
I have even had to go in and reprogram my thinking about my marriage, my role as my husband's wife, and our role in God's design for us. I had to really seriously dig deep and ask God to help me have the right goals for my marriage because I have no clue what marriage entails. I know its a positive thing in my life, but now I am not working, now there is a larger burden on my husband what do I do as a wife to be a blessing to him and unto you.
I have a whole new respect for David when he asked God to search him because once you ask with a humble heart there is no turning back. God is faithful, he will show you things you want to see, and things about you that you necessarily don't want to accept. The good thing is that as long as he is showing you, he is talking to you, it means he still loves you, and he wants you to have everything in those thoughts that he has for you ( Jer 29:11-14).
I hope to post more, I have found a quaint little cafe not far from my home that has free wi-fi, so I plan to be back Lord willing. As for now, I just wanted to check in, drop a line, and let you all know that all is well. Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!
Monday, August 11, 2008
My pastor preached last night about remaining in the firey tests so that God can perfect us. It is a good thing not to be removed so quickly from some of our hottest battles. Being unemployed naturally can only help me perfect my home, train up my children, and nurture my husband and while it can be a test not to worry about the second income, and how things will be paid, I can certianly welcome the thought of this chance to increase my faith and expunge myself of all hidden doubts and fears. I don't know if God will lead me to return back to the workforce, or if he will bless my husband with an increase careerwise, I do know that Romans 8:28 has become my hiding place in the word. Thank you again for your thoughts and prayers and I am off to spend some well deserved time with two little girls who I haven't seen for most of the summer!!! Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!
Friday, August 8, 2008
Stay blessed and encouraged- mrs thomas.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Yeah!!! I finally get a chance to blog again, I have missed it so much. There have been many changes in my life over the past week and my faith in God has been greatly tested. I thank him for loving me enough to test me and to show me where I need more strength and perfection both naturally and definitely spiritually.
I posted quite a bit in the past about some of the trials and tests that I was experiencing on my job and how sometimes I wish I could be a stay at home wife and mother. Well I guess the Lord was listening to me and has granted what I asked. Tomorrow will be my last day at my job. It wasn't something that was planned and it was very unexpected but a decision that I really have no regrets about.
I do have 1000 thoughts running through my mind about how my life will be and the uncertainty of not working, and I do plan to enter back into the workforce Lord willing, but for now I believe that God is putting me in a position to where I can put all of my trust in him. The enemy often bombards my mind that the circumstantial decision that we made will cause problems in my marriage, but I can see now how being in an unhappy job in where I would come home spiritually, physically, mentally, and emotionally drained started to pose a small threat. Satan was trying to slowly build a wedge of "busy-ness" and " not enough time in the day" between the both of us. I can now thank God in advance the midst of this predicted thunderstorm for taking care of us and giving us the wisdom on how to live abased and abound.
I know that he is going to bless my husband to provide for us until the situation changes, and I know that he is going to bless me to become a wiser wife and mother which is so much more important to me than being a superstar in the workforce. I would love to see what it feels like to be able to put the same time, effort, energy, and talent into being the wife, saint, and mother that God has called me to be. Keep us in your prayers that we may remain joyfully trusting in him, and that I can go through this learning process of letting go of the reigns and becoming dependent on my husband as he learns from God how to take care of me. I look forward to more blog time now :)
Stay blessed and encouraged! mrs thomas.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Although our stories are polar opposites with mine being courtship, and his being the tradional dating leading to engagement story, I am still proud of the choice he made. My new sister ( I don't really like the "in-law" title) fit in the family from day one. She keeps him very grounded, loves my family, is a true southern woman and is a wonderful match for him. She was also one of my bridesmaids.
It was a wonderful journey to share wedding planning stories, share deals on supplies, pass down decor, and all that other wedding planning "stuff". She is not only my new sister, but a trusted friend. I am thankful that they are both able to share the love that God gives two individuals that he has designed to form together as one flesh.
I pray that they will contiue to love each day more than the day before, and seek God in their marriage as well as loving each other the way Christ loves the church.
Now my parents can let out a sigh of relief. Two down, two more to go!!!
Congratulations Will & Sherwanda! We love you!
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
While I have really missed blogging lately, I will say that I have been able to just meditate more about the things in my life. Normally when I go through something albeit good or bad, I can’t wait to blog about it. These past couple of weeks I have had to just rely on God and talk to him all day which has been good. Sometimes we get so used to seeking the advice and thoughts of others that it becomes easy to unconsciously and unintentionally not go to Him first. I thank him for the time that I have been able to stay before him, and the time I have had in just basking in my husband’s opinion of things. I have encouraged him to start blogging because he has so much insight and such a genuine way of looking at the issues that I thought were uninteresting or boring to him.
Speaking of my husband, we are settling in and having a wonderful time. The girls are getting used to him being in the house and are very responsive to his routines. They often tease him about his notorious late night pantry/fridge raids and at one point were trying to stay awake to catch him “sneaking in to the cabinet.” I love being married and I love that my home is peaceful. My children are happier and things are less stressful because God has given him wisdom on how to step in and lead our home. I almost cried the other night when Nee-Nee Pooh beat him at checkers. ( well he let her so that he could teach her how to play aggressively) or when last night Chocolate Drop was helping him grill hot dogs and steaks. My children can now have the type of security that I had growing up in a two-parent household. I will forever be grateful to God for this gift.
Menu planning is going good. We are in the planning phase, we are looking to see what we have at home and what we can make with what we have, then on to making our menu, followed by taking a stroll through the grocery store to price everything, and then back home to sit down and formulate a budget. This helps so when pay day comes we know how close we are to our budget and if we need to re-adjust. I know some may say choose a price and stick with it, but for us that didn’t work. I personally don’t have the time to go from store to store to get the best deals. I have to choose Wal- Mart, Sam’s or Kroger depending on if I need to purchase anything for the house.
Another thing that is helping us is that Mark has put himself (and me) on a diet. Also instead of having me get up each morning to make his lunch he just took a loaf of bread, a package of sandwich meat, popcorn, beef jerky, bottled water and trail-mix that he keeps in his office. It helps tremendously because he has already taken his lunch from the house and if anything gets “devoured” in between grocery trips, well he (and the girls) just has to tough it out!!
The Lord is truly blessing us as a family. As prices keep rising, we have yet to go with out. Even if it seems as if we are living on spare change in between pay checks, we still have yet to live without the basic necessities. Our children have yet to miss a meal, or be without clothing. We have yet to run out of gas, and we are yet to be stressed out. One of my favorite passages of Scripture is
31.Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, WhatContinue to pray for us that we endeavor to seek the kingdom of God first, and I encourage you to do the same. Hopefully I will be back soon. Oh yeah, congrats to Anna at Domestic Felicity I am so happy for you and the news of your impending family addition. Be Blessed and Stay Encouraged!
shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? 32.(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. 33. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
This week so far, I have been home alone. Mark is off at a conference and the girls won't be home until tonight. At first I thought it would be hard to be alone, especially since my hubby and I have been joined at the hip since the wedding. The scary thing is, I started to see that I enjoyed the time alone. Not only did I enjoy it, I plain old just didn't want to be bothered. At a crossroad I decided to pray and ask God to help me with this feeling because I could see the enemy working very subtly.
One of the fears that I had before getting married is that I would have to battle my independent spirit. Part of that was me having the choice to interact with people or not. If I start accepting the thoughts of just always wanting alone time, then where would my husband fit in? How would that make him feel wanted, desired, or considered? While I was at home enjoying my alone time. He was hours away not wanting alone time, desiring to be in the company of his wife and family.
Imagine how he would have felt if I had brushed him off, albeit unintentionally or not. This is when I realized that I have to endeavour to lay myself aside and seek the right frame of mind for my marriage. I am starting to see that all the more. It's easy to feel as if you are loosing yourself once you become one; but isn't that the point? We are supposed to subtract ourselves from the equation and become one.
I admit, yesterday I was feeling selfish. I came home craving strawberry shortcake, I open the fridge and no strawberries. Why? Well my husband snacks constantly through out the night and early morning and well, he ate them all. Of course the enemy wanted to use my distance from him to fuel a fuming attitude that resulted in my desire to just be left alone. What did I do, I simply got up, went to Kroger and restocked. Not just with what I like, but with what he likes as well and even more. Even though I did this, I had to endeavour through the petty anger and thank God for the blessing of having my husband in my life ( even if he does have an out of the world appetite).
As I grow in this transition, I realize that I have to work on me. I have an instinctive response to when I am bothered about something, I become reclusive and quiet. I really don't want to be bothered which isn't healthy and it isn't Scripture. It is the opposite of endeavoring.
Endeavoring means I make myself talk and express myself in a loving and kind manner. It means saying I love you when I selfishly want to say nothing. It means saying I appreciate you, even if you have done something that pushes my button. Endeavoring means doing the exact opposite of what the enemy is trying to push you into doing. I once read this quote: " The only place success comes before work, is in the dictionary" Point well taken. If I want a successful marriage, then I must work, and endeavor for it.
BTW- Crystal over at BiblicalWomanhood is running a series entitled " Lovin that Man of Mine", I just so happened to drop in and found it very charming. We all know that validation and affirmation are key to a man's emotional needs and desires, but if we are not very careful validating and encouraging can fall in the trap of easier said than done.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
So I guess the Lord knows that I need someone in my life to help keep me focused and committed to a working plan.
Scripture also plainly states that we need to sit down and count the cost before doing anything. I will be the first to admit that I have not practiced this diligently in my home life as I should. I am nowhere near, close to or even in the same ball park as the Proverbs 31 woman. I believe that spending so many years of being on the go, and living in such a hurried state left me conditioned into thinking that I just can't live on a calender, or planner or any of those other homemaking organizers that many homemakers swear and live by.
So, since I see the error or my ways, and I married a man with a plan, I have to condition myself to consistently follow a more structured routine. With that being said, I plan on taking this long weekend to sit with him and our girls to develop a family planner/schedule, and with his prayer and guidance condition myself to convert to routine-ness.
I have often heard it said that it takes 21days to form a new habit. I am going to Guinea pig myself to see if its actually true. I believe that God can do it for me in less than 21 days, but it is going to mean that I am going to have to diligently die out to my will on doing things my way. This should make for interesting updates on this blog. So pray for me that I keep an open mind and will to change my destructive non-organized lifestyle, and adapt a more structured, decent and in order lifestyle that my husband needs to live in.
Ps: If anyone has any advice to solicit, or any templates of planners please email me. My email link is off to the side, or you can leave it in the comments.